Saturday, January 02, 2010
Updating this entry from the phone with coldplay playing. Heaven. Back atwork in a day and part of me is looking forward to the clean slate and exciting beginning. Another part of me is just gasping for air realizing the hard work that is yet to begin. 2009 was good. I started 2010 in a melancholic state . I don't have a clue why.I said,"how do you know?"
and he said," I've known you for ten years and Ive married u for five. And I love u. Always. That's why."
I hope whichever year ends and begins, some things will remain the same.
rain mohd 7:02 PM
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Friday, December 18, 2009
Road Trip- Perth, WA(IV) Margaret River, Fremantle, Swan Valley and some things in between
Swan Valley
Margaret River Chocolate Factory
Our beachfront apartment at Scarborough Beach for the first two nites.
View of the Indian Ocean from our apartment
Our second apartment at quaint Margaret River.
Grocery shopping so that we we can cook dinner.
Cook busy at work. After all the driving?! I was amazed!
I wasnt the one driving and I couldnt even lift a finger to cut the onions.tsk tsk.
Some of the pit stops/lunches/time for kids to let off steam by the park/beach.
He picked a wildflower, held it up and said, " For you Ibu.." *heart melts*
Fremantle Market
"Cuppucino Strip" in Fremantle
Our last stay at Mercure Hotel at Perth City.
Despite alisha's bush hat and shades, she came back with two red sunburnt cheeks.
Perth City. Waiting for my mum to finish shopping.
Finally, date nite:)
Although this wasnt our first time in aust but it was extra special coz i brought my parents along.
Strangely enough, we felt like we had the responsibility to play host when in actual fact we were equally new to the place. I hope my parents enjoyed coming with us as much as we enjoyed bringing them. :)
rain mohd 11:20 PM
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Road Trip- Perth, WA(III) Busselton Jetty and coastline views
along our drive to busselton jetty, we came across this small jetty on crystal clear water. Its very quiet with less than five people on this pretty beach. so we stopped for a bit to enjoy the view and for alim to have his photo fix.
Busselton Jetty in Busselton
Said to be the longest wooden jetty in Southern Hemisphere, stretching almost 2 km from shore. But when we came it was undergoing renovation so only the first 200m of the jetty was open.
Boat ride
Rock formations shaped over time. Some of them are acatually amalgamation of roots.
Spotted some dolphins and seals, much to Irfan's delight.
all ready to dive with the dolphins...in his dreams.
the sun was shining so brightly. luckily we all had shades, including alisha(thanks to cik ros for buying her one:)
rain mohd 12:44 PM
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Road Trip- Perth, WA(II) Cape Leeuwin Lighthouse
We drove south of Perth.
Past Margaret River and Augusta.
As you can see, the lighthouse is located at the most south westerly tip of Australia.
It is standing at the point where the Indian Ocean and the Southern Ocean meet.
Since we are the tip, its the end of the unspoilt green fields, immediately meeting the vast blue ocean. At a far distant corner,it's as if the clear blue skies and the fluffy clouds melted into the ocean.
The lighthouse looks so sparkly white amidst that kind of backdrop.
there was nothing to do but to soak in the view, the wind and sound of the breaking waves.
Enjoy.
Cafe behind my mum and me.
I love this pic of the distant figures of my dad and irfan
I've always thought that the way clouds are drawn in kids' drawing are pretty exaggerated. always big and fluffy, everywhere in the skies. But each time I come to australia, I am reminded that it is possible to have clouds like that.
rain mohd 2:06 AM
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Road Trip- Perth, WA(I) Pinnacles Desert
I dunno why we decided to go back australia for the 3rd time now. But we did anyway.
Drove north of perth, into the Pinnacles desert.
where the limestone formations stood still, scattered across the vast, yellow sand dunes.
It makes a breathtaking landscape in a spooky kind of way.
the sky was typically australia; gorgeous bluest of blue. it created a nice contrast to the yellow sand dunes and the tall limestone formations that stuck out scattered and silent.
Amazing, the work of mother nature.
will post more pics over time...
rain mohd 12:15 AM
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Sunday, December 13, 2009
i cant sleep and i just found my SD card containing lots of photos...here's one i like of alisha doing her favourite thing- standing.
and since im bored, i meddled with smilebox and created a slideshow of her pics taken last month. i really cnt get to sleep no matter hw hard i tried. hence this lil slideshow.
the thing i like about smilebox is i dont have to wait to upload the photos..i just have to copy and paste from my folder. the long wait time is usually the one thing that deters me from uploading photos.
but i dont like the part when it plays, it opens up to another window and there is an ad which you have to wait through before the slideshow begins.
so click play, wait through the ad and enjoy the slideshow and the music, which i happen to like in the middle of this sleepless nite.
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| Make a Smilebox slideshow |
rain mohd 2:26 AM
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Sunday, November 22, 2009
Dear alisha,my oh my, our lil brown bear has grown. you are SIX months now.
you are rather tiny. weighing only 6.6kg, you have just doubled your birth weight. we really dunno how to fatten you up. u dunt drink much milk, preferring to move about instead.
at 6 months, you are all over, alisha. you are like a lil boy, always so active, alert and moving about. and this month, your favourite thing to do is standing!! we thought we dont have to worry about that until a few more months, but i guess you are a lil impatient to get to places, arent u?
you just love to stand so much and have been teaching yourself this skill since you were born. i remember how u will always lift your head even as young as a month old. and this month, you did it! you are finally able to pull up and stand holding onto something.
you seldom sit. eversince u learnt to crawl last month, you will crawl everywhere. and you crawl especially to get to a destination where u can pull to stand. you will trample over abang when he is lying down. you will hook your tiny fingers onto abang ears when he is sitting and pull yourself up. you dont care if its my T-shirt, abang's head, atok's knees, sofa...as long as you can grab onto it, pull and stand. Im sure you cant wait to walk and get to places. Be patient, lil girl. U will one day. you are only 6 months, and u want to do so many things..
and i guess, because you are so determined to get to places, u sleep so little. Nenek is so frustrated at times and she is not sure what to do with you coz u are always always awake. we have to watch over u all the time. u want to see everything, touch everything, eat everything and stand everywhere!. all the time. pheww..its quite tiring for us.
and u are still apprehensive towards strangers. u will wail when they carry u. the last thing u would do is smile at an unfamiliar face. you will only show your widest grin to us, people closest to u. i wonder why..
and i also wonder why u are so fascinated with laptops. when u see a laptop across the room, u will get so excited and crawl as fast as u could towatds it, bulldoze your way through anything in between. u like pressing the keys and then staring at the screen looking for a reaction and get so fascinated by it.
and now, u just hate being left at home. when u see me heading for the door without u, u will scream, cry and start moving frantically. u dunt like to be left behind, do u?
when i reach home from work, you will always welcome me with your enthusiasm. the moment u see me, you will squeal in excitement and move your arms, legs enthusiastically, asking to be carried. and when i do carry u, u will smile your biggest smile:)
at 6 months, you are learning so much. and u just wont slow down...
we will be here, brown bear, trying our best to save your falls.
so till next month,
love,
ibu
rain mohd 8:13 AM
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Friday, November 20, 2009
We miss your spunk, boy.
irfan was left at my sis's place the other day while alim and i had to do some errands. when we came home, irfan was pretty quiet.
he called me twice to ask to go home which was rather strange coz he enjoys playing with qistina.
i found out later, all of them watched a horror movie over mio. something called suara dari kubor. i understand from my mum later that there were some scenes of pochong. when we got home, irfan was very quiet and behaving strangely. to put simply, he had lost all his spunk; his loud vocal chords somehow vanished, his hyperactivity stumped and he was just so lethargic and stony. these went on for a few days and i was getting pretty worried coz this boy is always on the go and so the change was very obvious.
i asked him if he was spooked by the scary movie. he said no and refused to talk about it. he did say its only a movie and they were wearing makeup and then kept quiet. but he spoke so little, which again was so unlike him. he prayed maghrib with all of us, and didnt even budge a bit from the prayer mat. no swiinging, no turning and definitely no squirming. so strange.
that night when we got home, he asked alim to pray and get to bed. he wanted all of us to be in bed. he sat on the bed for the longest time blinking and blinking. he closed his eyes a few times but woke up later and looked around. he was the one to wake us up when alisha cried for milk at 5 am. He was obviously affected by something but didnt say what it was. it is rather strange coz i always thought of him as someone who blurts out everything and anything.
for a few days it went on like that. he didnt want to tell us what was wrong. he was so lethargic. he slumps himself on the bed or on the sofa and just kept quiet. some times he watches TV and when it's off he just sits there blinking or fiddles with his toys. when i crack a joke or disturb him, he will still smile but thats all. no disturbing back, no shouting, no lanyak lanyak oso. we couldnt believe that it had been 3 days and we still didnnt have to ask him to be quiet or shut him up.
he had trouble sleeping, that was quite obvious coz he didnt just fall asleep like he used to. even if he falls asleep, he would wake up in the middle of the night, eyes very wide and looked around the room. i wondered if he was spooked or could it be a medical problem. yes i love to worry but the change was so apparent; from one extreme to another so any mum would have been worried too!
so i tried asking him again, had to resort to saying, we'd buy him ice cream if he told us what was wrong. He finally said, in a very soft voice (again, strange) "i am scared. that movie at qistina house. i am scared. But I dont want ice cream. Ice cream is not good for me. Vegetables is better." that was all.
so he was indeed spooked. i think he was sooo spooked that he didnt even want to talk about it. this is the first time ive seen him like this. he had watched horror movies before, and told me right out he is scared but never behaved in this way. quite scary actually to see him like that.
and i must say, i appreciate his spunk much more now! imagine, i actually missed that.
he is slowly getting back but still not the same irfan. we try not to talk about it anymore and keep him occupied with other things. hope he gets back soon:)
rain mohd 9:11 AM
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yes, sticking to each other is a good idea especially during moments in your life when your parents become your least favourite people.(although I hope that day will never come)You will need each other, for one reason or another..trust me.
rain mohd 1:47 AM
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Nobody likes liars but I especially hate them.I am not sure if the problem lies with me. The fact that i have an issue with trusting people. The way i see it, it is a fine line between trust and being blind to things which are happening beneath the surface. and to be oblivious makes me feel stupid. and i have to admit i hate feeling stupid.
its no surprise that even people closest to you are capable of lying. there are so many cases of husbands cheating on their wives right under their noses and vice versa. i dunno which is worst; the fact that their husbands are interested in other people or the fact that they have been lied to all these time. For me, I think the latter would be more painful.
People lie for a variety of reasons. Basically, they want to hide things which they know at some level are unacceptable. But they cannot help but to do them anyway. A poor decision has been made. It was a lack of better judgement but the deed had been done. They are unable to control how they feel and proceed with the decision to do it. Afterwhich, these things have to be sealed in a form of a lie so that normalcy will prevail.
So i ask myself, what would I do, if im put in that situation. In a situation where despite knowing that it is unacceptable, I cant control my wants and proceed on. What would I do? Stop myself?Or go ahead and do it? After which do I lie about it or admit it and let the truth be out? It is a difficult decision, more difficult than deciding to do the unacceptable and bear the consequences in the first place.
I would probably lie too? But day to day living would be a torture. Having to face someone knowing that you are keeping something from that person is pure torture to me. And if anyone can ever do that; keep a straight face within a very close proximity day in and day out, I really think this person is close to being not human. Someone with no conscience dont deserve to be called human, no?
Thats the responsibility u have to commit to for lying isnt it? You lie and you have to maintain it. You maintain it by distinguishing every single sense of conscience in you. So much so, that you convince yourself that you are not lying, but come up with some justification to make up for your lack of/absence of conscience. Some poeple are capable of it, others choose to lift this heavy burden of their chests and tell the truth. The truth hurts and opening a can of worms is never pleasant. And it takes guts to do it. Not everyone has enough of it.
Good decision making is a lifelong learning experience. Even in primary school, we teach our pupils to make sound decisions in our values inculcation programme. But until adulthood, we are still learning. I am guilty of making bad decisions at times and I am constantly learning.
My approach to people who lie is simple. Ive always told my students, my colleagues, irfan that it is always better to tell me the truth even if it hurts. I will like to think that I am a calm and rational person. A person who always look for the grey in things, a person who would say that its ok that a mistake has been made; that a mistake is usually a result of sum of things; an action usually has a cause and nobody should be seen as a total villain or a saint. BUT i cant say the same if a lie has been told to me. Im afraid I cant.
In case anyone is wondering, this entry is not a result of a personal experience. But more of the happenings ive encountered these past few weeks. Lying, dishonesty seemed to be the theme these few weeks and thus Im propelled to write this entry.
SO in case you dont get the gist of this entry; the message is simple. Tell the truth and there is a chance of everything being forgiven. But lie, and I wont even bother to sit down and psycho-analyse the situation; i wont even consider your perspective or ask why.
I would just reiterate my earlier point that I should not have been lied to.
But that is just me. If someone gives you an innocent front but is actually swallowing a painful truth, what would you do if and when you find out?
What would you do?