Monday, November 28, 2005

ok this is gonna be a long entry..

we went to a wedding yesterday. saw the bride n groom looking all nice on the dais. looking at them, we couldnt help reminiscing about a year ago when we ourselves were sitting up there, in a state of disbelief that we were indeed MARRIED. the overwhelming sight of our loved ones coming to see no one else but US. the pretty clothes, the never ending smiles, the flashing cameras.
most of all, the anticipation of living our lives together.

after all, that was EXACTLY a year ago.

we turned ONE yesterday.

it wasnt a typically romantic day, but surprisingly we were high over the moon. there was no fancy schmancy dinner, no checking into any hotels, no stamping of passports.
oh, but we did have a gd breakfast though. the man with the culinary skills prepared me these...



well ok, ok, when i said 'prepared', i didnt mean COOK. he basically arranged the utensils and food in a nice presentable way. u noe lah, these people doing food n nutrition. presentation.presentation.presentation,

so with irfan as our witness, we rekindled our vows in between our ever so romantic breakfast; Macdonalds in our own home.

i think he approves huh?



and so the day began.

the day was about this n dat, too lazy to elaborate.

fast forward to the night. we went to M nasir's concert. since we got the tixs only hours before the concert, we got the topmost circle seats and there were not many pple up there. so that means we were pretty much alone to shout, scream, karaoke, kiss kiss in the dark. basically watever we want to do lah. n the thing about esplanade concert hall is that no matter where u sit, it always sounds just as good. to my delight, he played a lot of old songs, even Search's Meniti Titian Usang, "Saaambutlah tangan ku kawan, aku takut tenggelaaam.."heh.

n then in the middle of sitting there, listening to M Nasir, WHAM! I felt it. i have almost forgotten how it feels.

his arms (my husband's not M Nasir's laaa) accidentally brushed against mine and i felt strange.
its like the 'first time' tinklling feeling. u noe ure FIRST FEW DATES before u held hands, but want to, the feeling u get when he speaks close to u or when u sit in a movie n ure arms accidentally brushed a lil against each other. ya that feeling. im sure all of u noe wat im talking about. i guess when we r with someone forever and already married, even though u love the person to bits, u dunt get this constant high everyday. the high of a first date is just different, no? i think the combi of M Nasir, the concert hall, the darkness n the comfortable seats helped to kick in the right hormones.

n towards the end of the concert, as if reading my mind, he said to me, "I missed Irfan" i said me too n we just couldnt wait to be home. Then afterwards, it being our anniversary and us trying to be romantic, we decided to take a walk by the river. we tried our best to get in the mood, holding hands n wanting to talk about how we loove each other so. but before we knew it, we were talking endlessly about irfan, his smile and his poo.

n then we looked at each other and we knew, home was where we really wanted to be. there's a lil being there that will give us a better night than a walk down esplanande.

so we went home and spent the nite lying on our stomachs, on our bed, hands cupped under our chins as we gazed at irfan sleeping soundly in his cot.

awww...."look at the tiny face;" he said softly so as not to wake him.
"so peaceful, isnt he cute?" i hushed back.

and so we went on n on like dat till we fell asleep.

so much for a romantic anniversary celebration.

n the next morning, i said, "hey, we forgot to give each other presents"

to which he replied, "There, there's our present rite there.." *points to irfan*

we r obsessed. yes we know. Is this even NORMAL?

N i have a lil worry here. Am i suppose to give him the same present for next year's anniversary too?

*gasps*

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A drive to yesterday

irfan has fallen into a nite routine. he sleeps at around 9pm and wakes up at 4 am for his feed. That makes it much easier for us to plan our nites.

so tonite, we left him at home n told my mum just to keep an eye on him since he wouldnt likely wake up. went for supper and a lil drive. remembered our younger days. drove past East Coast and i realized I'vegrown afraid of the dark, dense trees. Wanted to rekindle some old moments but we have a more comfortable place now. Drove past Changi and took some moments to watch planes. i remembered that time one nite when we circled the area plenty of times to catch different planes land and take off. i was never good at recognising them planes. i just like seeing the planes fly low directly above me. reminds me that they r huge and not just mere dots flying across the sky. maybe someday, we will bring irfan there.

the best part is, i had my choice of songs for the nite. after all that white piece of gadget has all the songs we will ever need.i found out some of the songs i used to like, i come to dislike now. i wonder why...

we drove to my new school. its not exactly near but i have a straight bus there. the area is all too familiar. an area i like a lot. remind me of my 'green' days and my stint at AMP. i remembered how i feel during my morning stroll from the bus stop to school, clad in the green pinafore and walkman accompanying me. next year, i will take the same bus i did when i was in sec sch, going through the same route. this time looking at all the students, replicas of how i used to be. but no more walkmans of coz, just IPODs in their hands, with their most expensive bags. i bet they won't be carrying Eastpac or Umbro bags.

i can see that field and the old banyan tree. i wonder if the lil ghostly spirit still lingers around the tree.

so now im tired. but not so sleepy. maybe i'd go disturb irfan for a lil bit and make him take his milk earlier tonite.

or should i disturb his sleeping dad instead?

Friday, November 18, 2005

Thursday, November 17, 2005



I wish i could fit irfan in my bag.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Friday, November 11, 2005

There's no time like this time.

i finally got to quench my thirst to shop. its been quite a while now. and i was in need of new clothes since my old ones are way too tight now. i was totally dismayed when i tried my fav jeans and it got stuck at my hips and refused to go any further up. i couldnt wear any of my pants except for one. and all my tops makes me look like im wearing a bodysuit which i can't breathe in. Sigh..totally didnt expect this.

so with irfan in tow, we went to town to get me some clothes. we showed irfan the stretch of town where we used to tawaf for as long as i could remember. of course irfan was too preoccupied with his never ending sleep and couldnt care less about our stories.

i must remember that he is only turning 2 mths. now that we have bought him a car seat and his grandparents have given him a stroller, we r so tempted to bring him everywhere we go. now that the husband is having his holidays till january and im still on maternity leave till january, the 3 of us got more than a mth to spend a lot of time together and we are itching to go here and there. besides, i had enough of staying at home for almost a mth due to my confinement.

heh. this writing space had been so much about irfan. pardon me, i spend 24 hours of the day with him. even when i do go out, id bring him along. so there's not much to write about anything else at the moment.
maybe when sch begins next year, id write about the 'excitement' of working in a new environment, new colleagues, new management n the life of a working mother. yikes. for now i just want to enjoy the company of irfan n the husband in a stress free state of mind.
with them around me every day, with nothing to attend to, freedom to go anywhere, no work to do and money coming in, life is good.
even though its only temporary. till work beckons and stress resuscitated.
heck, for now, there is no time like this time. :)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Irfan, if only u knew, how u make me feel...

I can't quite describe the joy he has brought to our lives. Its too great, its beyond my limited vocabulary. So far, nuthing beats this feeling.
All, I can say is, this raya was indeed very special and truly unforgettable.
I once said that I could never have been happier.
But boy, was I wrong.