We, the last minute people still have not decided where to go for the dec hols. Pretty usual, very typical, very common. With my unpredictable condition,it even adds on to our dilemma. Im not sure if i can withstand any flight more than 10 hours and if I can take all the sightseeing, milk making and luggage carrying involved in a holiday at a country of a very different time zone with a 3 yr old boy.

We have narrowed down and further narrowed down but as usual, reached no conclusions yet. I am more inclined to resting in my bed the whole dec coz really, my body feels like it. But it would be such a waste and not healthy too, i think. This would probably be our last holiday as a threesome and being able to repeat our June 07 feat would be great but my body is so not up to it.

So let's contemplate and further contemplate sumore, till the date draws near and then we make a sudden decision to go somewere, not even in our plan initially. That won't be a surprise.

On another note, got some gd news yesterday and hoping it remains that way. Some good news tug on your hearts so much that you want to celebrate it but not sure when is a ripe time to do it. So we shall let it be till more good news come and we cant contain ourselves anymore, and then it will be time.

Im not at werk today-again coz my body just refuse to cooperate with me. I dunt remember ever feeling like this with irfan. I dunt really know how to explain how I am feeling, just weak weak weak and to make it worse, im down with flu which I got from irfan. So work is taking a backseat right now, although that is really an impossible thing to do so Im basically doing what I can from home.

Ok im done.

Reminisce

Found this in one my folders, taken 2 years ago. I almost forgot the time when he walked all wobbly..so innocent, so harmless...
Sekarang..haiz..dah macam monster kluar kandang.

Think he was 11 mths or so...



:)

The boy's preoccupation with my tummy

In the past, when Irfan was still in my tummy, his daddy used to talk to him as much as he could.
Now, ever since I first told Irfan about the baby, he has been the one who talks constantly to the real tiny life inside. My tummy hasnt shown much yet but that doesnt seem to stop Irfan from checking on the lil one every now and then. He talks to the lil one every night, without me telling him to, sometimes just a loud "hello baby" and quick peck before running off to god knows where.
At times, he will rest his toy on my tummy and tells the lil one how special his toy is and what it is capable of doing. But amidst his entusiasm, he has many times, sat on my tummy, accidentally kicked it and plonked his toy too hard on it. And I have to constantly remind him to be gentle.
A few nights ago, he pasted a pokemon sticker on my tummy and said that one is for the baby. ANother time, he insisted that I eat his pretend playdoh food and when I refused he said the baby will be hungry if I dunt.

I think he badly wants a sibling:)

The previous trip to the gynae, she gave Irfan the scan pics. he took it, looked at it and then asked the doc, "Is baby ok?". It sounded weird coming from him cos there's an air of concern there which I never expected a boy of 3 to have.
The doc told him baby is fine and he gave her a nod and a big smile. Such a copy cat he is, I think he heard me asked the same question the last time I met the gynae and I think I smiled too when she said the baby was ok.

Sometimes, when Im in the toilet, he has this habit of just opening the door and checking what Im doing. I have to admit, because of what happened previously, now, each time I feel some pain, I would immediately check for any bleeding, spotting or strange discharge. And sometimes Irfan will walk into the toilet, sneak a peak, looked a lil alarm and ask me, "Got blood or not? Is baby ok?"
I never really explained to him what happened previously but he did know that I was very sad over what happened. He had also seen some bleeding the other time and saw my alarm and reaction to it. he did ask me what happened and I remembered telling him that I was sick. I didnt say anything about a baby.
But I guess he knows the sight of blood is a sign of something bad happening to the baby. And somehow, he has picked up on my worry and fear n constantly asks me if the baby is ok.

So nowadays, everything is really about the baby to him. He sees me eating something that looks red and spicy and asked me what if baby pedas. He lies down on my tummy to watch T.V and hears my stomach gurgling and says" Eee..baby kuntut(that's how he says kentot)!" I eat an ice-cream and he asks me if baby will get a cough from it...and the list goes on.

So now, more for the sake of Irfan, I hope all goes well. I really do.

I guess when you are expecting, people around you are always showing concern and be nice to you..But I least expect it from this 3 yr old boy. It's nice to have your lil boy show so much concern over you, in his own childish way. For as long as I am still the apple of his eye, I will relish the moment for as long as I could coz Im quite certain that one day,years from now, his mommy will take a back seat in his life.

Been a while since I updated this space.
Actually there were many things worth penning down here coz it has been a rather eventful few months. Happy moments, heartbreaking ones and then there were the dull 2 weeks of nothing but bed and ophrah. Luckily the lil one is around to bring some life into my very lazy 2 weeks.

So anyway, highlights include the lil one's birthday, my birthday, hari raya, some wonderful news and then, the 3rd farewell for the year. Significant events that celebrates life, dealing with death and stuff in between; all rolled in 2 months. Yes, been pretty busy.

Some pics of happy moments cause they are so easily forgotten. Sad moments are etched deep inside and there's really no need for pictures coz I can see them clearly even when there's nothing concrete to hold on to.

This is a real belated entry on Irfan's brthday last month.
The lil one loves birthdays so much, so although Im kinda lazy to invite so many people over, as it was the fasting month anyway, nonetheless we decided to go crazy with this one, but still keeping it a small and cosy affair.
He was excited as he always is, not much of his reaction to birthdays has changed since his first birthday, making me wonder if he will ever get sick of blowing candles and singing birthday songs.




Waiting for everyone to gather and sing his bday song.

Thomas here, Thomas there, Thomas everywhere. From Thomas cake, tablecloth, balloons, cups, goodie bags, Thomas party hats and EVEN self printed Thomas T shirts for everyone! Even my dad and mum wore the T-shirts , can u believe it? I can't believe it ...hmm wonder whose idea it was?!





See the T-shirts? Hehe funny rite?
And like every year of his birthday, Irfan is having a big smile plastered across his face. That is perhaps the biggest motivation to do crazy things like buy plain T-shirts, print design and iron them on for about 10 people! Otherwise who would have bothered! Oh Im sorry, someone WOULD have bothered, look at another over zealous person in the pics, with the big smile plastered across her face too. Banyak nah idea dia..deprived childhood tak?



Till next year:) Keep the smile plastered and the enthusiasm going for as long as you can, lil one!