Haji Lane with my constant companion





Whenever I look really down and upset, you'll ask me why I'm sad. And you'll ask me to smile. Sometimes you ask, "Is it me, ibu?" And I had to smile and say,
"No, it's never you, boy."
When I say Im sick, you'll constantly check on me and ask me if Im feeling better.
When we are late and the shop I want to go to is closed, you'll say
'Nevermind ibu, we'll try again tomorrow."
Once, when you saw tears in my eyes, you asked me, "Are you crying ibu?". Then I saw you looked around trying to find something to make me feel better. You picked a puzzle and asked me if I wanted to play. When I shook my head you looked around again. In the end, you took a tissue and gave it to me. You waited for me to wipe my tears, took the tissue and threw it in the bin."R u feeling better now, ibu?" you asked.
When you thought Im asleep (actually Im just pretending to sleep), you'd say,
"Goodnight ibu. I love you" and give me a kiss on my cheeks.
You'll always take everything blue and keep all things pink for me, just because Im a girl.

I teach you the alphabets, numbers and colours.
But I don't remember teaching you how to be sweet, coz honestly I don't know how to teach you that. I guess you picked it up somewhere. You are loud, boisterous, active. You never ever walk. You jump, hop, skip, run, everything else but take proper steps.But amidst all the craziness of being three,I suppose
you learn to care.

You'll always be our number one :)

about 10 more weeks to go before i deliver. insyaallah.
time sure flies. i have been rereading my past entries about my pregnancy with irfan, trying to recall and compare if both pregnancies are the same. but i realized i didnt have as many entries about the pregnancy as i thought.
from what i could recall, i didnt experience braxton hicks at all with irfan but I have been getting painful and uncomfortable 'muscle pulls' at the side of my tummy every other day with this one. I came to know that those pulls are actually braxton hicks and its purpose is to prepare your uterine muscles for labour. so its kinda 'practice' for your body to get used to the real contractions.

with the second one, Im also always craving for gassy drink, especially coke and i am less particular about my intake this time, downing just about anything from coke to coffee. This time round, I've also noticed that the baby is extremely active, very much more than irfan was. I don't know if all the sugar in the coke have caused that. But the movements are rather violent and very often which made me wonder what the baby is actually doing inside. It feels like the lil one is doing some 360 degree flips, kicking, shoving or punching endlessly, making me feel like she's dropping out anytime soon.

And yes, my gynae is super confident that the gender is not a mystery. It's a girl, she said very confidently, further adding that it's very obvious and pointed to some grey-blackish thingy on the scan that's supposed to be the female part.
So im a lil less skeptical now and told irfan that he's having a sister and not a brother. He seemed very fine with it, in fact just the other day, pointed out a tiny pink dress from FOX and said maybe baby will like it coz it's "pink and have some flowers."

I'm happy to know it's a girl of course, but surprisingly have not indulged in splurging on those adorable baby girl clothes I've been eyeing yet. I don't know why but I think I'd rather wait for a lil bit longer. Yes Im crazy like that.

So far im doing good but im beginning to have the jitters of labour and delivery. it was all good with irfan, but nothing is predictable and we will never know what will happen. I have kind of forgotten the pain of labour but in 10 weeks, like it or not, it will definitely come back to me, loud and clear!

Another worry is the second one will be bigger than irfan. According to my gynae and the websites I've read, this is usually the case with the second child. Irfan was 3.74 and I really dread the thought of delivering a baby any bigger than that! So my gynae has told me to cut down on all the coke and sugar to prevent the baby from getting so big. Oh my, just the thought of it, is sending shivers down below!

ok,ok I better stop now coz I can really go on and on about my labour fears. i suppose having experienced one birth before, albeit an easy one, does not help me at all in reducing my ever present paranoia. Im a real worry wart, ain't I?

Till later:)