Stop shouting at my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do I say this nicely?
And he's learning to shout too, at 2 months!!! Come on, he's not deaf. He will be if this goes on!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, October 08, 2012
Wake me up when Spetember ends
As always, September is a month of celebration. So all that depressing entries are just mere memories of a thing of the past. PooF! Out of the window they go! Im relieved and i guess so are you.:)
My dear firstborn turned 7 on the 20th. I lost track of how many times a birthday song was sung to him this year and how many times he had blown the candles out for his birthday. So i tell him, he's indeed lucky to be surrounded by so many people who love him.
I remember when i was young, there was a particular year when my brother prepared a treausre hunt for me to find my own present. He hid clues at different places in my house and I remember feeling so ecstatic about finding my present. he even hid one clue in a pipe and I had to turn on the tap and the clue popped out all soggy and wet. In the end my present was a transformer. I dont remember if i enjoyed playing with transformers when I was young or he had bought it mre for himself .
Anyway, so i decided to recreate that moment for my dear son. He woke up early that day and I gave him his first clue.He was just as excited as I was!! Alisha helped of coz and in the end he found his pressie. We told him that this lil pressie was from Alisha.
My dear firstborn turned 7 on the 20th. I lost track of how many times a birthday song was sung to him this year and how many times he had blown the candles out for his birthday. So i tell him, he's indeed lucky to be surrounded by so many people who love him.
 |
| The first cake. An early birthday surprise at my sis's place together with his much loved uncles, aunties and cousins. |
I remember when i was young, there was a particular year when my brother prepared a treausre hunt for me to find my own present. He hid clues at different places in my house and I remember feeling so ecstatic about finding my present. he even hid one clue in a pipe and I had to turn on the tap and the clue popped out all soggy and wet. In the end my present was a transformer. I dont remember if i enjoyed playing with transformers when I was young or he had bought it mre for himself .
Anyway, so i decided to recreate that moment for my dear son. He woke up early that day and I gave him his first clue.He was just as excited as I was!! Alisha helped of coz and in the end he found his pressie. We told him that this lil pressie was from Alisha.
He immediately fixed his pressie and it was ready in no time! Happy birthday boy!!
We had dinner at fish and co paragon and the staff sang Irfan a birthday song. We gave him his present. A pair of Heelys. Our wish: He'll never grow too cool for a goofy hat like that!
Because it's his birthday, we let them have a good time at Paragon's playground even though it was a schoolday tomorrow.
Wide awake at 9pm, all excited to go to the playground on a weekday.
The next day, we had dinner with Alim's parents at Swensen's and he got to blow his cake again and we sang for him for the 100th time.
and over the weekend we managed to catch Cat in the Hat play, one of our favourite night reads. I was super excited. We enjoyed the show very much and already bought tickets fo the next upcoming play, Fantastic Mr Fox by Roald Dahl. Coincidentally, that's irfan read for now so he is super excited too.
We had a lot of fun this Sepetember, like we always do. Now September has ended, and that means a month closer to my dreaded end of maternity leave:(
I'm going to miss hanging out with the kids at home. Till later, bye for now!
Saturday, October 06, 2012
My first music lesson
I've always wanted to learn to play a musical instrument of some sort since I was young. I've always admired those who could play one, they look so effortless and easy. I am always convinced that I am tone deaf coz I could never memorise notes or knew where to place my fingers.
I wished I had picked it up very early in my life but my parents never had the means to enrol me in a class and music was definitely very low or even non existent in their priority list.. which I totally understand.
Some people don't have to attend any official music lessons and they just self taught themselves. They just pick up an instrument and learn on their own. I find this amazing. I'm definitely not capable of that when it comes to music. I wish I could though.
I used to also daydream about performing on stage, with a cool band and I play the guitar and sing. Haha. So funny. Of coz, that didn't happen.
Now 34 years later, I sat in my first Yamaha music lesson learning the solfege on the electone with my son! I think I was more excited than he was! So there i was in a junior electone class for 7 year olds, all wide eyed and eager to learn! I knew as much as the 7 year olds or even lesser perhaps. Everything was new to me. Yes that was how little I knew about music but oh well, my policy is its never too old to learn anything and there's no shame in admitting how lil you know.
I had a good time and I hope irfan did too. I can already see that it's just going to get tougher coz one needs total focus and concentration to coordinate what we hear and then move our fingers to play. It also requires irfan to listen attentively to the tune, to focus on his fingering and to keep practicing to get better. Irfan is still getting used to the feel of the keyboard, the reading of the notes and so am I!
We were told to practice at home. I'm afraid i can't really guide him much coz I am learning as well and I probably teach him the wrong stuff. Haha.
I hope through the lessons, he not only
learn to play the electone but also to develop better concentration, coordination and perseverance to practice and practice which he can apply in everything else in his life. For me, I always think its character before content.
I just hope I don't kill his interest by turning this into a "must practice", "must do well" thing which I'm already doing with his school work. So I really need to relax and let him enjoy the music. The tests are optional anyway. That's also one of the reasons we didn't put him in an intensive piano lesson. This class is supposed to be a fun thing for him.
But for me, I will practice for sure. Heh I can be kiasu that way. And I know when it comes to music, I am not smart enough to learn it once so I need the practice. Right now I'm practicing more than him. Haha.
But that will probably change when work starts for me. We'll see:)
Till later, have a wonderful week everyone.
I hope I will!:):)
I wished I had picked it up very early in my life but my parents never had the means to enrol me in a class and music was definitely very low or even non existent in their priority list.. which I totally understand.
Some people don't have to attend any official music lessons and they just self taught themselves. They just pick up an instrument and learn on their own. I find this amazing. I'm definitely not capable of that when it comes to music. I wish I could though.
I used to also daydream about performing on stage, with a cool band and I play the guitar and sing. Haha. So funny. Of coz, that didn't happen.
Now 34 years later, I sat in my first Yamaha music lesson learning the solfege on the electone with my son! I think I was more excited than he was! So there i was in a junior electone class for 7 year olds, all wide eyed and eager to learn! I knew as much as the 7 year olds or even lesser perhaps. Everything was new to me. Yes that was how little I knew about music but oh well, my policy is its never too old to learn anything and there's no shame in admitting how lil you know.
I had a good time and I hope irfan did too. I can already see that it's just going to get tougher coz one needs total focus and concentration to coordinate what we hear and then move our fingers to play. It also requires irfan to listen attentively to the tune, to focus on his fingering and to keep practicing to get better. Irfan is still getting used to the feel of the keyboard, the reading of the notes and so am I!
We were told to practice at home. I'm afraid i can't really guide him much coz I am learning as well and I probably teach him the wrong stuff. Haha.
I hope through the lessons, he not only
learn to play the electone but also to develop better concentration, coordination and perseverance to practice and practice which he can apply in everything else in his life. For me, I always think its character before content.
I just hope I don't kill his interest by turning this into a "must practice", "must do well" thing which I'm already doing with his school work. So I really need to relax and let him enjoy the music. The tests are optional anyway. That's also one of the reasons we didn't put him in an intensive piano lesson. This class is supposed to be a fun thing for him.
But for me, I will practice for sure. Heh I can be kiasu that way. And I know when it comes to music, I am not smart enough to learn it once so I need the practice. Right now I'm practicing more than him. Haha.
But that will probably change when work starts for me. We'll see:)
Till later, have a wonderful week everyone.
I hope I will!:):)
Monday, October 01, 2012
A date with Russian Red
A lovely end to September.
Taking a short break from being a 🐮to have a date with a boy and Russian Red.
Taking a short break from being a 🐮to have a date with a boy and Russian Red.
I'm a happy girl and ready to resume my moo moo duties!:)
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Rainy night
Have always loved rainy nights. Tonight is no different. Now let's decide on the music of choice tonite. :)
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
My first love
Me: irfan would you like to learn how to play a musical instrument?
Irfan: ya I want!
Me: what musical instrument do you want to learn? Yamaha has piano, electone, guitar and drums.
Silence for a few seconds...
Irfan: what is the (main) instrument in your favorite song?
Me: hmmm... Piano?
Irfan: ok I want to learn piano. so that I can play your favorite song for you.
Awwwwwww.....
I melted into mush right about there...
Sweetness!
Irfan: ya I want!
Me: what musical instrument do you want to learn? Yamaha has piano, electone, guitar and drums.
Silence for a few seconds...
Irfan: what is the (main) instrument in your favorite song?
Me: hmmm... Piano?
Irfan: ok I want to learn piano. so that I can play your favorite song for you.
Awwwwwww.....
I melted into mush right about there...
Sweetness!
Waiting for a free slot
I was secretly waiting for September holidays.
But that's over.
Now I will have to wait for December.
But that's over.
Now I will have to wait for December.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Yes yes. I'm lazy. Yes yes I just sit around.
Yes. This is all i do during my maternity leave. Oh sorry. Not exactly. I have an iPhone in
hand. So all day , all I do is chat with friends and surf the net.
No.. I'm not tired at all. Not busy at all. Really there's nothing to do.
Breastfeeding? Oh that one just sit what. Not tired. Breastfeed for 1 hour, just sit only. Not tired what.
When baby cannot sleep just rock a bit, sing a lullaby. And my baby very good one. Can sleep within 0.1 second. At night, he sleeps throughout. Never even wake up once! Not a stir.
Ok what. What's the big deal right?
What? Recuperate from delivery? No need to. It was an easy peasy delivery. I just sneezed, and the baby was out. After that I look and feel great. I could have climbed Mt Kinabalu
And This picture below NEVER happens of coz.
The house is always quiet. Very quiet that I can sleep all day, read a book, sip hot chocolate.
Of coz going out to work is more tiring. Me? I'm just relaxing with my legs up.
Yes yes. My mum and husband does EVERYTHING in the house.
They would breastfeed too if they could.
Oh excuse me now, while I buff my nails and soak my feet in warm water.
My kids? They can do everything on their own; bathe, eat, entertain themselves, do homework.
In fact I suspect they are really adults in kids bodies.
Till later!
(p.s sarcasm aside, no matter what i say, i can never deny that I'm fortunate to have everything that I have and for that, I'm truly grateful. So don't shoot me.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Lack of sleep
Oh wow. What a splendid birthday I had. I did get that much needed movie, nice dinner with awesome view and music.
with someone who really wanted to be there.
I did get to dress up a lil, smell nice and feel better.
It's my birthday after all. That's nothing much to ask for. And I got it.
Wait am I hallucinating?
with someone who really wanted to be there.
I did get to dress up a lil, smell nice and feel better.
It's my birthday after all. That's nothing much to ask for. And I got it.
Wait am I hallucinating?
Just another day
It's just another day.
People go to work, kids go to school.
I'm such an idiot to think it would be any different.
Anymore special than it already is.
Just because it's my birthday.
People go to work, kids go to school.
I'm such an idiot to think it would be any different.
Anymore special than it already is.
Just because it's my birthday.
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me!
It's a quiet night. Very quiet. Im accompanied by the yellow dim light, and the Tv on low volume.
If I hadn't known better, I would think I'm all alone in this room.
Here's to releasing the past and embracing the future. To learning to enjoy my lonesome self. To accepting that people sometimes just will never understand what truly lies beneath my words. To accepting that I'm no longer the centre of the universe.
Excuse me now, while I start the celebration with some music.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Images in my mind
I'm so glad I went to Greece for the last hols. I don't think we will go anywhere awesome soon. When I get tired and bored, there's some images of Greece I can escape to. It's so vivid in my mind. Lately, I really need to escape a lot. Coz my reality these days involve mostly leaking milk, crying baby and soiled diapers.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm not thankful. I'm grateful beyond words. But anyone would know, when it comes to feelings, nothing is either black or white. Usually it's a rainbow of Colours and black and white. Feelings are complex.
It's just a good escape from the routine . A good escape from the image of me in my home tshirt and pants , messed up hair, looking shabby, smelling of milk and spectacles falling off my face. Im sure u know, looking awful will just make one feel awful. But these days, there's really no reason to dress up.
Right now I'm thinking of the litted island at night. If I could, right now I would want to sit in one of their restaurants, with the nice breeze blowing and a super awesome view. And of course, nice music. I would want to see those litted lights against the dark night. Sigh.. If only.
With someone who really really wanted to be there too as much as I do. Not because he or she has to. Not because he or she wants to make me happy.
But in reality, I'm bored on my bed. Tired, depressed and smelling of milk.
The lil one is finally asleep. He will be awake in a couple of hours. The two kids are still wide awake.
If I could I would walk out that door and go for a much needed walk and nice dinner. Sigh .... if I could. If only i could.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm not thankful. I'm grateful beyond words. But anyone would know, when it comes to feelings, nothing is either black or white. Usually it's a rainbow of Colours and black and white. Feelings are complex.
It's just a good escape from the routine . A good escape from the image of me in my home tshirt and pants , messed up hair, looking shabby, smelling of milk and spectacles falling off my face. Im sure u know, looking awful will just make one feel awful. But these days, there's really no reason to dress up.
Right now I'm thinking of the litted island at night. If I could, right now I would want to sit in one of their restaurants, with the nice breeze blowing and a super awesome view. And of course, nice music. I would want to see those litted lights against the dark night. Sigh.. If only.
With someone who really really wanted to be there too as much as I do. Not because he or she has to. Not because he or she wants to make me happy.
But in reality, I'm bored on my bed. Tired, depressed and smelling of milk.
The lil one is finally asleep. He will be awake in a couple of hours. The two kids are still wide awake.
If I could I would walk out that door and go for a much needed walk and nice dinner. Sigh .... if I could. If only i could.
Acknowledging the feeling and then moving on.
Major disappointment.:( boo hoo.
Well but there's no other way to go but take the decision within our stride.
And I believe in HIS decision 100%. So all is good. Alhamdullilah.;)
Well but there's no other way to go but take the decision within our stride.
And I believe in HIS decision 100%. So all is good. Alhamdullilah.;)
Saturday, September 08, 2012
My loyal company
3.48am.
In bed with my little guy who always keeps me company.
No matter what time of day!
Smooshy kisssss!!!!
In bed with my little guy who always keeps me company.
No matter what time of day!
Smooshy kisssss!!!!
Friday, September 07, 2012
Random thoughts on the last day of hols
The hols is over. And still it didn't happen. I guess holidays is still a busy period for some people. Yes even at night.
Tonite is another wasted nite.
Maybe he thinks it's selfish.
I guess I wasn't clear enough about the urgency and the DESPERATION.
What words or actions should I use?
Next week work starts and classes too. I don't want to cause a distraction.
And so i think I can do this on my own. I just have to learn to enjoy it. It just needs some getting used to.
The need for a recharge has become an emergency and I have decided not to wait for anyone anymore.
Tonite is another wasted nite.
Maybe he thinks it's selfish.
I guess I wasn't clear enough about the urgency and the DESPERATION.
What words or actions should I use?
Next week work starts and classes too. I don't want to cause a distraction.
And so i think I can do this on my own. I just have to learn to enjoy it. It just needs some getting used to.
The need for a recharge has become an emergency and I have decided not to wait for anyone anymore.
Thursday, September 06, 2012
A longing
Waiting
With anticipation, hope, excitement
Waiting
With fear, doubt and worry
Honestly I did not put much thought into it.
My heart ruled everything this time round. There's a sudden pull that came from nowhere. It isn't fleeting, it's a longing.
I've doubted myself forever, if I'm ready for this. But somehow the pull is stronger than the mountain of doubt I have, stronger than the endless worries.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy. For making a decision without much thought about the practicalities, about my kids, my job, without thinking through the endless responsibilities here, without calculating my finances over and over again, without knowing fully what to expect, without assessing how ready I am.
But this time, I have little control.
My mind stopped thinking.
I can't stop this deep longing.
I know not where these feelings came from.
Either way, I leave it to HIM
I can't lie. I will be sorely disappointed if it's not meant to be.
But I know for sure, it's for the best.
HE knows what's best for me.
And if I'm ready for this.
With anticipation, hope, excitement
Waiting
With fear, doubt and worry
Honestly I did not put much thought into it.
My heart ruled everything this time round. There's a sudden pull that came from nowhere. It isn't fleeting, it's a longing.
I've doubted myself forever, if I'm ready for this. But somehow the pull is stronger than the mountain of doubt I have, stronger than the endless worries.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy. For making a decision without much thought about the practicalities, about my kids, my job, without thinking through the endless responsibilities here, without calculating my finances over and over again, without knowing fully what to expect, without assessing how ready I am.
But this time, I have little control.
My mind stopped thinking.
I can't stop this deep longing.
I know not where these feelings came from.
Either way, I leave it to HIM
I can't lie. I will be sorely disappointed if it's not meant to be.
But I know for sure, it's for the best.
HE knows what's best for me.
And if I'm ready for this.
Monday, September 03, 2012
Two brothers sharing a joke
What are you boys talking about?:) Shahid is fortunate to have a resident clown in the house.
Luv these pictures!
Luv these pictures!
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
40 days old
Today Shahid is 40 days old.
And he finally smiled at me. This time I know it's for me, dimples and all.
And I'm totally smitten.:)
And he finally smiled at me. This time I know it's for me, dimples and all.
And I'm totally smitten.:)
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Stone me! Stone me! Rid the devil! Rid the devil!
In one of our exhausting arguments, my mother said, " dalam badan Ain ada setan"
Now don't be alarmed by that. I am used to such things thrown at me since I was young. And I'm expected not to get angry or frustrated over that because well, no one should raise their voices on their mothers.
What if i'm hurt by the statement? Well, I just got to surpress my anger till my face turn blue.
But of course I'm no angel and time and time again I flare up, raise my voice rudely and get frustrated. Yes, maybe I do have a big setan residing in my body, eating my soul.
But the argument is not the point of this entry.
I didnt know that my lil girl was listening to our argument. She didn't look like she was listening.
Much much later, she came to me in the room and said,
"I love you. Don't be sad, ibu. I will take some stones and throw them at all the setans in your body. They will not be there anymore."
Hahahahaha.
I laughed when I heard that. But In so many levels that statement could be very deep indeed!
1) as if she knew the notion of throwing stones at jamrah during hajj as a symbol of throwing stones at the devil and bad deeds. She could have probably learnt this in sch.
2) she made me realize that if i continue showing anger to my mum outwardly, I might just deserve to have stones thrown at me. To wake me up, to make me realize what i have done. Now or in hell.
Now I'm over thinking it.
3) without her knowing, she has actually helped me throw a stone or two at the setan in me. Coz after she said that the anger simmered and I could manage a smile. :)
My sweet girl, pls don't be like me when you grow up. Although I must say, karma can be a hard thing to avoid.
Now don't be alarmed by that. I am used to such things thrown at me since I was young. And I'm expected not to get angry or frustrated over that because well, no one should raise their voices on their mothers.
What if i'm hurt by the statement? Well, I just got to surpress my anger till my face turn blue.
But of course I'm no angel and time and time again I flare up, raise my voice rudely and get frustrated. Yes, maybe I do have a big setan residing in my body, eating my soul.
But the argument is not the point of this entry.
I didnt know that my lil girl was listening to our argument. She didn't look like she was listening.
Much much later, she came to me in the room and said,
"I love you. Don't be sad, ibu. I will take some stones and throw them at all the setans in your body. They will not be there anymore."
Hahahahaha.
I laughed when I heard that. But In so many levels that statement could be very deep indeed!
1) as if she knew the notion of throwing stones at jamrah during hajj as a symbol of throwing stones at the devil and bad deeds. She could have probably learnt this in sch.
2) she made me realize that if i continue showing anger to my mum outwardly, I might just deserve to have stones thrown at me. To wake me up, to make me realize what i have done. Now or in hell.
Now I'm over thinking it.
3) without her knowing, she has actually helped me throw a stone or two at the setan in me. Coz after she said that the anger simmered and I could manage a smile. :)
My sweet girl, pls don't be like me when you grow up. Although I must say, karma can be a hard thing to avoid.
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