Alhamdulillah,
The little boy has arrived into our arms safely on the 20th September 2005, exactly a week after his mum's birthday.
He didnt give his mum a very hard time, though the pain was something I have never felt before. Nor will i forget it.
I started feeling contractions at 12 am. It was mild, just a lil worst than menstrual cramps. It was more than 20 mins aprt so husband and me strted writing down and timing my contractions.
we didnt sleep the whole nite. By 5.30 am, it was 10 mins aprt so we packed our stuffs and left for the hospital.
By the time we reached, i was 3cm dilated and the doc broke my water bag.
By 7am, i was put in labour ward. I was 4 cm dilated. They started putting a drip and timing my contractions. By then, it was 3 mins aprt. The pain got worst of course, but there was nuthing much to do but bear with it.
They said they dunt think i need epidural coz they saw me smiling and talking but only if they knew how bad it was.
Husband was there all along, feeding me ice and comforting me. I think that played a huge part.
Then, the pain got more intense, and coming close together. I tried the gas and husband put it on me but i didnt like it.
I told husband to ask the nurse how dilated I am coz I have this urgency to push.
So she checked and I was 9CM!!. Finally!!! So she said I could push. By then it was around 12.30pm. Husband and the nurse directed me when to push and told me that they could see his head!!!
Soon doc mariamma mamma came and helped me to push. It seems like the longest time but husband's encouragement and his hand holding up my neck to push really made me strong. He was excitedly telling me how he could see the head and told that it was a bit more.
By 1.11pm, the lil boy was out into the world and all my pain suddenly disappeared.
He is 3.74kg. yes, he is huge.
He was put into my arms and the lil one opened his eyes and looked at me!!! How could we not cry?! The nurse put him on my breast and amazingly he could latch on.
While doc mariamma mamma did my stiches, all husband and me could do was stare at the lil one. And he stared right back at us! I didnt feel a thing when she did the stiches. Soon it was all over and we got into our ward.
I think i had it fairly easy this time. Labour wasnt too long and there was no complications and i could bear the pain. It wasnt because i was strong but it must have been all the never ending doas and constant prayers from my loved ones that did it for me.
And of coz, for the hand that held me throughout labour and the voice that kept encouraging me. My husband has always been and will always be my pillar of strength.
Wow a super long entry. So there it goes...
The story of the birth of Nur Irfan bin Muhd Nur Alim.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
today is my due date and at 12 am this morning, i had a bloody show. it wasnt once, im still having it once in a while. very diluted blood,pinkish and it means that the mucus plug is out. that's a sign of the first stages of labour. but it doesnt mean im going into labour anytime soon. it might take 24 hours or even a few days. ceh!
i remembered doc mariamma mamma telling me that i dunt have to go to KK if there's blood. she said its perfectly NORMAL (her favourite word) I would only have to go if my contractions are 10 mins apart or my water bag is broken.
sounds easy but, for a first timer like me, identifying contractions itself might be a challenge and sometimes you are not sure if your water bag is broken coz it can varies from trickling to gushing of water. all i noe is i havent felt any pain at all, just very diluted blood that im having. doc mariamma mamma better be rite about not having to go KK.
so looks like the waiting game shall continue....i have 4 more days till they induce me. guess, we'll just have to wait and see.
i remembered doc mariamma mamma telling me that i dunt have to go to KK if there's blood. she said its perfectly NORMAL (her favourite word) I would only have to go if my contractions are 10 mins apart or my water bag is broken.
sounds easy but, for a first timer like me, identifying contractions itself might be a challenge and sometimes you are not sure if your water bag is broken coz it can varies from trickling to gushing of water. all i noe is i havent felt any pain at all, just very diluted blood that im having. doc mariamma mamma better be rite about not having to go KK.
so looks like the waiting game shall continue....i have 4 more days till they induce me. guess, we'll just have to wait and see.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Baby, pls meet me soon.
2 days left to my due date and still no pain at all. Doc mariamma mamma has set me up for an appointment next thursday to be induced if the baby is still not out yet. so im browsing the net rite now, reading up on the various methods of induction.
and here's what i found:
one method requires a tablet called pessaries containing prostaglandin gel to be inserted in the cervix (ouch?). might take a few days to take effect. So i assume there will be a lot of waiting. They might insert the tablet a few times more and see what happens.
another way is they can also break your waters using a hooklike thing (ouch? ouch?) to stimulate contractions. Once the water is broken, it is supposed to cause contractions but there's chances of it not happening too.
And as a last resort they might put u on a syntocinon drip which contains oxytoxin, hormones to stimulate contractions. For this, the info said, when you do get the contractions, the pain can be much much worst than normal contractions and might last longer, depending on how your body reacts. most of the time, an epidural is needed in this case.
And of course, when all else fails, there's the caesearean.
and i heard from a fren that husbands are not allowed to be with you throughout the ordeal above. For me, that will be the worst part ever.
and then of course, the info said there's the 'self-induced' methods like sex, stimulating your nipples, curry and taking long walks. Those sounds better doest it? No harm trying is there? id try anything to get those contractions! so how many days is it to next thursday? Six? Not too far away..eeekks.
Well, guess i wouldnt know what will happen till it does. all i can say is, whatever means and pain i have to go through, i would definitely do it, for the sake of bringing this precious one into the world.
so wish me luck! :)
2 days left to my due date and still no pain at all. Doc mariamma mamma has set me up for an appointment next thursday to be induced if the baby is still not out yet. so im browsing the net rite now, reading up on the various methods of induction.
and here's what i found:
one method requires a tablet called pessaries containing prostaglandin gel to be inserted in the cervix (ouch?). might take a few days to take effect. So i assume there will be a lot of waiting. They might insert the tablet a few times more and see what happens.
another way is they can also break your waters using a hooklike thing (ouch? ouch?) to stimulate contractions. Once the water is broken, it is supposed to cause contractions but there's chances of it not happening too.
And as a last resort they might put u on a syntocinon drip which contains oxytoxin, hormones to stimulate contractions. For this, the info said, when you do get the contractions, the pain can be much much worst than normal contractions and might last longer, depending on how your body reacts. most of the time, an epidural is needed in this case.
And of course, when all else fails, there's the caesearean.
and i heard from a fren that husbands are not allowed to be with you throughout the ordeal above. For me, that will be the worst part ever.
and then of course, the info said there's the 'self-induced' methods like sex, stimulating your nipples, curry and taking long walks. Those sounds better doest it? No harm trying is there? id try anything to get those contractions! so how many days is it to next thursday? Six? Not too far away..eeekks.
Well, guess i wouldnt know what will happen till it does. all i can say is, whatever means and pain i have to go through, i would definitely do it, for the sake of bringing this precious one into the world.
so wish me luck! :)
Thursday, September 15, 2005
the lil babe is still happily inside me now. still deciding on his birthday agaknyer. Looks like he chose not to share the same birthday as me nor with a Britney Speares' s kid. (heard over the radio, he was born yesterday) if he is born near the expected due date, he'd be a virgo, just like me. (poor husband, have to handle 2 headaches now!) and just like his mummy here, agaknya dia pun fickle and always take too long to think. and maybe he also has that late coming trait going on. dat trait he would have inherited from the both of us, so not solely my fault lah.
so, i have a feeling this baby mite just be overdue. doc said if overdue, need to be induced. various ways of doing it, not quite sure how mariamma mamma wants to do it. today, during the appt we will find out. i hvae 3 days before the expected due date. but so far i havent felt any kind of pain at all. except for very very mild cramps, like those i get monthly. but other that dat and the strong wavelike movements of the baby (that always makes me feel like he's dropping out!) i dunt feel any form of contraction at all. Not even Braxton Hicks.
Well at least he didnt choose to come out on my birthday. The husband was keeping his fingers crossed caused he had been busy planning a lil something for me. Actually not a lil something lah, i tot it was a big something. Of course, he did it again. Surprise me with something totally unexpected and made me totally happy. Morning of my birthday, told me to pack my things.
actually sejak sejak dah pregnant, im so lazy to walk around, just want to lepak and lie down in a nice comfy place. and it was a very very hot day that day, 33 C or sumthing so i was hoping he wont take me outdoors or go walking around. My tiny feet just cant take the 15kg weight gain well anymore.
but i was still very, very excited lah, so far he has never let me down in making me happy, so i know this yr would be no diff. he always seems to know what i want and need. sometimes even before i could figure that out myself. and i was right, at the end of the 'surprise', i was all smiles! :)
think i will continue this entry in a while. truth is i forgot how to upload photos here. its been sooo long since i did that. so i better go get it figured first.
till the next entry soon...
so, i have a feeling this baby mite just be overdue. doc said if overdue, need to be induced. various ways of doing it, not quite sure how mariamma mamma wants to do it. today, during the appt we will find out. i hvae 3 days before the expected due date. but so far i havent felt any kind of pain at all. except for very very mild cramps, like those i get monthly. but other that dat and the strong wavelike movements of the baby (that always makes me feel like he's dropping out!) i dunt feel any form of contraction at all. Not even Braxton Hicks.
Well at least he didnt choose to come out on my birthday. The husband was keeping his fingers crossed caused he had been busy planning a lil something for me. Actually not a lil something lah, i tot it was a big something. Of course, he did it again. Surprise me with something totally unexpected and made me totally happy. Morning of my birthday, told me to pack my things.
actually sejak sejak dah pregnant, im so lazy to walk around, just want to lepak and lie down in a nice comfy place. and it was a very very hot day that day, 33 C or sumthing so i was hoping he wont take me outdoors or go walking around. My tiny feet just cant take the 15kg weight gain well anymore.
but i was still very, very excited lah, so far he has never let me down in making me happy, so i know this yr would be no diff. he always seems to know what i want and need. sometimes even before i could figure that out myself. and i was right, at the end of the 'surprise', i was all smiles! :)
think i will continue this entry in a while. truth is i forgot how to upload photos here. its been sooo long since i did that. so i better go get it figured first.
till the next entry soon...
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Greetings earthlings, hello humans.
Song of choice: Exit Music for a Film, Radiohead.
There was a time in my life when writing provided ample solace and helped me make sense of the world. I lost that sense of solace because i found something (read: someone) more tangible, a personification of solacity. Here i am now, minus my black books, my notebooks, my scribbles of paper, returning to manifest my inner thoughts in a predominantly conTEXT format, in a land where many know, as the blogGG. It has been a long while since I really sat down and thought long and hard about things and it is now time to embrace introspection rather than retrospection.
Currently i am at a very interesting stage in life. Something peculiar, somewhat familiar. I never thought i would ever reach this stage in life. I can still hear clearly the voice of the teacher teaching the Primary 6 students above about the laws of physics and nature; more than often, daydreaming how interesting it'll be for me to learn P6 science. I can still feel the marvel i had upon seeing my cousin getting ready for school, so proud that he's finally wearing long pants. I dont remember reaching any of these stages in life; all i know is that, i passed them. Right now i embark on my journey into parenthood after twenty seven years of limbo, of wandering, getting tossed about, and finding myself and a wife and soon a kin in the process.
So it is like the whole symphony is buliding up for this one huge excitement. That one note that the whole orchestra is looking forward to, that one note that would bring a BANG in beethoven's symphony no. 9. That is the birth of my child. The rest will be just encores. I never thought i would be at this stage in life. Can somebody tell me if the baby comes with an instructional manual? Maybe raising arizona is a PBL (problem based learning) process. Maybe not so much of a problem as it'll be self fulfilling, but i would rather call it Play-based learning. LEarn on the job, some might say. We will just have to open our presents slowly i guess. I guess the apt song would be "She likes surprises" by soundgarden. And anything in wonderful disguises.
I think that i have lost a side of my life whereby the visual is the most apt form of expression for me. I find myself drawing less, and painting less. I draw more in my head, and thats only half good. Photography still continues to fascinate me but it does not provide sufficiently for expression. I am bad in photographing humans and there is so much i can do when i photograph the tangible. I want to find that side of my life that captures the intangibles, that turns expression into form. I hope to find that again in writing. I want to be able to express the things I cannot say to the unknown faces of people i hear in my head who i shouldnt listen to. Maybe writing isnt such a good idea afterall. At least in here. I am in a place now where finding catharsis and making sense of things is crucial to my sanity and person. The presence of a proper and unbiased confidante who understands the composite, if not complex me does take a substantial load off my chest, without making me feel the threat of intellectual atrophy (read:university)settling in looms large. For that i thank you. I thank Him for this day, twenty seven years ago, solacity was born. Happy Birthday.
Song of choice: Exit Music for a Film, Radiohead.
There was a time in my life when writing provided ample solace and helped me make sense of the world. I lost that sense of solace because i found something (read: someone) more tangible, a personification of solacity. Here i am now, minus my black books, my notebooks, my scribbles of paper, returning to manifest my inner thoughts in a predominantly conTEXT format, in a land where many know, as the blogGG. It has been a long while since I really sat down and thought long and hard about things and it is now time to embrace introspection rather than retrospection.
Currently i am at a very interesting stage in life. Something peculiar, somewhat familiar. I never thought i would ever reach this stage in life. I can still hear clearly the voice of the teacher teaching the Primary 6 students above about the laws of physics and nature; more than often, daydreaming how interesting it'll be for me to learn P6 science. I can still feel the marvel i had upon seeing my cousin getting ready for school, so proud that he's finally wearing long pants. I dont remember reaching any of these stages in life; all i know is that, i passed them. Right now i embark on my journey into parenthood after twenty seven years of limbo, of wandering, getting tossed about, and finding myself and a wife and soon a kin in the process.
So it is like the whole symphony is buliding up for this one huge excitement. That one note that the whole orchestra is looking forward to, that one note that would bring a BANG in beethoven's symphony no. 9. That is the birth of my child. The rest will be just encores. I never thought i would be at this stage in life. Can somebody tell me if the baby comes with an instructional manual? Maybe raising arizona is a PBL (problem based learning) process. Maybe not so much of a problem as it'll be self fulfilling, but i would rather call it Play-based learning. LEarn on the job, some might say. We will just have to open our presents slowly i guess. I guess the apt song would be "She likes surprises" by soundgarden. And anything in wonderful disguises.
I think that i have lost a side of my life whereby the visual is the most apt form of expression for me. I find myself drawing less, and painting less. I draw more in my head, and thats only half good. Photography still continues to fascinate me but it does not provide sufficiently for expression. I am bad in photographing humans and there is so much i can do when i photograph the tangible. I want to find that side of my life that captures the intangibles, that turns expression into form. I hope to find that again in writing. I want to be able to express the things I cannot say to the unknown faces of people i hear in my head who i shouldnt listen to. Maybe writing isnt such a good idea afterall. At least in here. I am in a place now where finding catharsis and making sense of things is crucial to my sanity and person. The presence of a proper and unbiased confidante who understands the composite, if not complex me does take a substantial load off my chest, without making me feel the threat of intellectual atrophy (read:university)settling in looms large. For that i thank you. I thank Him for this day, twenty seven years ago, solacity was born. Happy Birthday.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
the third person
the third person
she opened her eyes and like most days, saw him smiling down at her. dimples greeted her but she wasn't moved today. she's moody again. he wore her 4 watches and laughed. 2 on the right wrist and 2 on the the left. she didn't find it too funny.
she woke up midday and regretted not meeting the morning. it could have been a beautiful morning. she tot to herself; why is she feeling so tired and moody when everything is going well? it has been days. all she wants to do is be in bed the whole day. she wants to think its the changing hormones, perhaps an extra dose of progesterone and oestrogen. and not a reaction to what is coming in the future.
she wants the attention but he is not giving enough to her. maybe it would never be enough to her. maybe its not what she wants after all. she is such a fickle attention seeker these days.
she needs to grow up. she would in a couple of days. she has no choice.
maybe that's the reason.
she opened her eyes and like most days, saw him smiling down at her. dimples greeted her but she wasn't moved today. she's moody again. he wore her 4 watches and laughed. 2 on the right wrist and 2 on the the left. she didn't find it too funny.
she woke up midday and regretted not meeting the morning. it could have been a beautiful morning. she tot to herself; why is she feeling so tired and moody when everything is going well? it has been days. all she wants to do is be in bed the whole day. she wants to think its the changing hormones, perhaps an extra dose of progesterone and oestrogen. and not a reaction to what is coming in the future.
she wants the attention but he is not giving enough to her. maybe it would never be enough to her. maybe its not what she wants after all. she is such a fickle attention seeker these days.
she needs to grow up. she would in a couple of days. she has no choice.
maybe that's the reason.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
all about she
all about she
she woke up feeling fine. the day seems promising. after all its saturday. but she was feeling tired and so her bed became her constant companion for the day.
she got up to do some laundry for the new extension and saw the rain came pouring soon after. as the weather became darker and the day grew older, so did her spirits.
she had a good breakfast but no lunch. he banged the door and she couldn't care less. anyway, there were no more places she really wanted to go. Nothing seems tempting enough to bring a smile on her face. or makes her heart race. Besides, her pockets are empty. nothing seems to be going right. she's looking for the attention that she will never get because someone has been so used to receiving and not giving.
the anger. the anger has been bulding, accumulating and soon to explode. she knows she won't hurt from the blast but someone else would. but not she. not she.
so its night and she's dragging her feet.
suddenly the day is over. and another 'promising day' begins.
she woke up feeling fine. the day seems promising. after all its saturday. but she was feeling tired and so her bed became her constant companion for the day.
she got up to do some laundry for the new extension and saw the rain came pouring soon after. as the weather became darker and the day grew older, so did her spirits.
she had a good breakfast but no lunch. he banged the door and she couldn't care less. anyway, there were no more places she really wanted to go. Nothing seems tempting enough to bring a smile on her face. or makes her heart race. Besides, her pockets are empty. nothing seems to be going right. she's looking for the attention that she will never get because someone has been so used to receiving and not giving.
the anger. the anger has been bulding, accumulating and soon to explode. she knows she won't hurt from the blast but someone else would. but not she. not she.
so its night and she's dragging her feet.
suddenly the day is over. and another 'promising day' begins.
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