I think all mothers who had just given birth should be whisked away to a relaxing, secluded resort for about a week to recuperate from their exhausting labour.

All i could think of the moment i stepped into my home after being discharged from hospital is to run off with the baby in my arms to a beautiful resort facing the vast blue sea where I coud just relax. Where i can have my daily massages whilst enjoying a nice cool breeze n hearing the waves crashing on the shores, with the open sea right in front of me.

Afterwhich, I have my balanced meal served to me in silverware so presentable that even ubat periuk can look appetizing.

Maybe throw in a facial or two, anything that pampers the worn out body and nourishes my well being.

Then have a lactation nurse on call to answer my neverending breastfeeding questions and give my breasts all the attention they need. Maybe a nursery room so pretty to welcome the lil babe with a paeditrician, a nurse and a helper just a call away. So anytime the baby is crying incessantly, the nurse or pd can just drop by to take a look to see if my paranoia is valid or im just going crazy.

A helper at my back and call would be great to throw away that diaper when im done changing the baby so that i can hold her immediately. or to hand me the tissue when my breast is leaking all over the baby's face...and all other stuff that saves me the time away from my baby so that I can concentrate on breastfeeding and cuddling the baby in peace.

And of course, one other important service; internet connection! What for, u asked? definitely not for work purposes to check edumail! For online shopping of course; where you can purchase the necessary nursing bras and tops and look for pretty baby clothes while you are it and maybe a designer diaper bag too :) All necessary, I swear!

Wouldnt that be a great post labour getaway? Im sure there's some resort like that somewhere.

But well, for now, i can just dream about the vast blue sea and move my butt to throw the diaper and grab the tissue. As for the pd, lactation nurse and helper at my back and call, I suppose I will just have to settle for my mum... hehhhee. She gives me advice on everything, though im quite sceptical about most of her bizzare theories.

One example would be wetting a tiny part of a tissue and putting it on baby's forehead to stop baby's hiccups. The connection between wet tissue on forehead and air in the lungs is really beyond me ...but her suggestions somehow are comforting to me, if that makes sense at all.

But on a serious note, she has been a huge help. I would have gone berserk without her to take care of me and handle irfan when ive had too much in my hands. I really dunno what I will do without her.

as for the online shopping. oh yes! that i can do!;)

Ok, I hear the lil one crying. Isnt it great to be a source of food for a human being. I feel so important! heh

Back to reality now. Till later!

Is that silence, I hear?
Below is a picture of PEACE.



It has been quite a chaotic first 2 weeks I must say. With 2 kids clamouring for my attention, I dont even have time to take a bath at times!
Looking like a hag and smelling of breastmilk 24/7, I just spend the day back and forth, back and forth attending to these two. Somehwere in between changing soiled diapers and answering irfan's neverending questions, day has turned into night. The hours seemed to whiz by, ever so fast!

Birth journal of the lil girl- for future reference, my aged mind tends to forget a lot these days.

6th May, Wednesday: had appointment with georgie and did a cervix check. she set a date for me for an induced birth next thursday if baby is still not ou by then.

7th May, Thursday morning: mucus plug came off followed by bloody show. Had a feeling the lil one is coming soon.

8th May, Friday morning, 9am: woke up with contractions. Knew it was contractions coz it was consistent. But the pain was still very mild and they were very far apart.
Messaged Alim, who was at work, to tell him we'd probably need to go to hospital later in the evening or Sat morning.

5.30pm: Alim came back from work. My contractions were getting stronger and nearer but still tolerable and more than 10 mins apart so i tot I'd wait it out. Tried to take my mind off the pain by keeping myself busy with irfan and walking around the house.
Alim and Irfan fell asleep. I figured alim better rest in case it would be a long dramatic night for us. So i waited for him to get up.

9.00pm: Alim's mum came to visit. Contractions was 7 minutes apart and the pain was making me grimace. So I knew I had to go to K.K. Was still quite reluctant to go. The pain was different from Irfan's. It felt more like someone stretching the veins till it almost snap on my upper thigh and back but I felt nothing on my tummy area.

10pm: Finally decided to go K.K. Said goodbye to Irfan and kissed him goodnight. He was upset to be left home and merajuk. Made me want to turn back and forget about giving birth but the pain was unbearable.

10.30pm: Reached K.K and sat in the car for a while. Very reluctant still. At that point I wasnt sure why but now, in retrospect i think i was afraid. I knew the pain I will have to go through during labour coz of my experience with irfan and Im not sure if i was ready.

10.30pm: Gathered my courage and went to delivery suite. They monitored me and found I was 7cm dilated. Wheeled me in labour ward. Prepped me up and they called Georgie. COntractions was 3 minutes apart and the pain almost killed me but didnt coz Alim took my mind off it by keeping me company. I dunno wat we talked about but it helped. Tried the gas but again, never got it. Mengumpat about the irritating nurse who was attending to us. Anything to take my mind off the pain.

11.30pm: Georgie came with wet hair. I askd her if she's from home. She said, "Yes. then from swimming pool?" and gave a silly laugh. Alim and I glared at each other. So like georgie to say sumthing like that. Wore her gloves and broke my water bag. Checked me and I am 10cm apart. Asked me to spread my legs and push. I chickened out and said I m not ready. Started to remember everything I went through with Irfan, got scared and said I needed some time. The irritating nurse turned pale coz she was afraid of georgie coz georgie told her to call only if I am ready to push.

12.00am: The nurse rushed me and told me to just push. I rolled my eyes at alim and we mengumpat about the nurse again. Suddenly the urge to push came and I felt like I just had to get this huge lump out of my system.

12.15am: Georgie came and I told her Im ready. Spread my legs and told me to push. So I did with all my might but nothing came out. Alim psychoed me with words I needed to hear..he always knows what to say to me to make my brain do what i dunt want to do.

12.38am: After a couple of pushes that sapped all strength out of me, her head popped out and soon her whole body just tumbled out. A huge relief off me!
Georgie gripped the head and pulled the whole body out and handed the baby to the nurse who handed the lil one to us. I remember thinkinng; " she's quite dark".
Then they took her back and weighed her; she was 3.2kg (luckily not heavier than the bro) cleaned and wrapped her before giving her back to us for that special moment.
All pain was gone!

12.45am: Georgie finished her job, did the stiches for me, took the placenta out and
cleaned up the mess. I dunt really want to see or know whats going on.

1.30am: They are satisfied with my condition. I am still alive, have not fainted or anything so they wheeled me to my ward. I just cant wait to get up there!
And the rest of my stay was just a lot of cooing over the lil bub and fussing over irfan who also slept over at the hospital for the second night.

Ok..that's about it. Luckily not much drama.
Alhamdullilah:)

Introducing my lil sister.



She is FINALLY here, after I waited so long for her. Every month I will ask ibu if it is May already and after some time, May came and my little sister was born.

This was how she looked like when i saw her at the hospital.
She was wrinkly and fat and her eyes were always shut.



here's how she looks like now.



I like to sing to her and clap my hands in front of her. I think her favourite songs are the Barney Song,Wheels on the Bus and sometimes Old McDonald. Every night, I will read a storybook for her. Most of the time she will sleep through it but Ibu said it's ok.

Some things have changed I think. Sometimes I feel sad coz I think I get scolded more often now. I try to remember what ibu tells me; to be gentle with her, to be careful when near her but i dunno why i keep getting into trouble.

I love my sister and Im soo happy she's here. I tell ibu that everyday.
The moment I get home from school, I will look for her and ask ibu what the baby is doing. Everytime she will be sleeping or drinking milk.
And I will always try to snuggle and sleep beside her.



My job is always to throw the water used for wiping her poo. Ibu said Im very helpful and Im a great big brother.

I bought my sister a pink playdoh that day but ibu said she's too little to play. The little T-shirt I chose for her from FOX is also too big for her so she cant wear it yet. Im waiting for her to grow bigger. There's so many things I want to play with her once she stops sleeping every minute.

So i guess this is how my family looks like now. If my teacher asks me to draw them I will have to remember to draw 4 heads instead of 3. :)



Till later. BYE!
Nur Irfan

mucus plug came off yesterday, followed by bloody show.
think georgie kinda pulled it when she checked my cervix on wednesday.
still having it now.
irfans delivery was two days after first bloody show, thank god for the entry in the blog, otherwise i wouldnt have remembered such details.

waiting for serious contractions to come. see glimpses of it but im waiting out for as long as i could before going to the hospital. with the temperature taking, the compulsory wearing of the stifling mask at hospitals now, as far as possible i would rather delay my trip there. wonder if i have to wear the mask while pushing too..heh.

My due date is next Monday, 11th, and so far no signs of labour yet. Nothing..Nada..
Just the usual crampy feeling which I dunt think counts coz it's so fleeting and the only reason i feel it is probably coz Im too free.

I have taken leave beginning last monday, to spend more time with the boy and clean up a lil here and there.

my last checkup with georgie was yesterday. We have set a date on the 14th may, thursday to be induced if the baby is not out yet by then. The baby is 3.4kg now, thereabouts and knowing that the baby is more than 3 kg makes me somewhat cringe.

She kept asking me how big irfan was and i have been telling her he was 3.74. I guess knowing that I managed to deliver irfan naturally made her think I have a high threshold of pain and really no major hurry to induce me. Actually I dunt really have a high threshold of pain, but more of a mentality of getting it over and done with, 'bear with it and hope it be over soon' kind but if possible, I really really rather NOT repeat the ordeal.

Being able to deliver a big baby before, alhamdullilah, doesnt mean I am capable of or I necessarily WANT to do it again. But heck, if that is what I have to go through again, there's nothing much I can do except go through with it.

She said its probably my diet that contributes to the size of the baby. And it has been the trend now for babies to be born bigger than usual. Recently my friend gave birth to a 4kg baby; normal delivery without epi..and she said it took forever for her to push the baby out and at some point she really could feel all her strength being drained out of her.

irfan came 2 days after his EDD and Im not sure about this one. I would say take your time, but dunt grow too big..but if you do, i hope Im given the strength to deliver you safely :)
Coz that's all I can hope for right now.