Sleepless

I cant seem to fall asleep these days. Alim, irfan and alisha are all sound asleep and Im still up, doing unimportant things and thinking about nothing in particular. For the past few weeks Ive been falling asleep at 3am and then I'll be up at 4.30am for alisha's feeding. At 7 am I'll feed her again and at 9am, its time for her to bathe. Surprisingly I dont nap in the afternoon, which means my sleeping hours are all whacked and Im not getting enough sleep. Sometimes I get groggy, but most times Im just in a blur. Breastfeeding and changing of diapers have become like an automatic reflex ; other than that, Id be rocking her to sleep, cuddling her or 'talking' to her. She takes quick napps in the day, 2 hours max and I cant really do much of other things. She doesnt like to be left alone and gets bored easily, which some say is typical of babies her age. So my days pretty much revolves around feeding, changing of diapers and putting her to sleep.

Seriously, Id rather be doing this for a while more. Although, I can feel my brain cells disintegrating on me and my body feels really lethargic from all that sitting down for feeding and rocking her to sleep. I dont feel like going to work yet for now. To get some fresh air and my mind going for a bit, I look forward to going out .with the two kids in tow of course. If I leave them, Ill be thinking about them endlessly, but when we bring them, there's more mess and hassle of course. But we always choose the latter..dunno why. Come to think of it, alisha sleeps longer when we are out and when we put her in the sling. Its the movement i guess. So actually its kinda easier to manage her when we r out. Which is good for my sanity.

The holidays end today and we didnt even get our passports stamped this june. Irfan seemed very contented staying home, glued to the TV, much to my dissatisfaction. But me, Im getting some sort of withdrawal symptoms....travelling is a difficult habit to kick. And this body is programmed to get away every 6 mths. But alisha is too young, and for her good, Ill wait it out. And I really need to curb on that spending anyway. With two kids and ageing parents, we need all the reserves we can get.

OK typing this is making me sleepy which is good, coz i need to sleep. I cant believe typing this is as boring as you reading it now. It cant get more boring then readin about ones sleeping habits, can it?. So i better stop the blabbering now. Maybe I should just stick to posting more pictures accompanied by skimpy words.

Ok goodnite.

Gloom



This photo was taken when we were in Sunshine Coast, Australia.
It's ironic. Theres no sunshine at all in this pic.
It mirrors the way i feel today.

But despite that, the tree stands tall amidst the dark, gloomy clouds.
The leaves will grow. With time they will.
And the grey clouds will subside.

Mugshots of the little brown bear

Brown cub will be turning two mths soon.
she's into a lot of cooing and smiling these days.
This one likes to be held, cuddled and entertained.




Luckily, we have a clown in the house.

Add some colour to your life.






I like to saturate his photos. And change all his colours.
And it will always come out distorted. I think I like them that way.
But on second thoughts, I prefer blacknwhite.


I dunno much about birds, but I hope you have learnt something, lil boy.

Flashback

Music has always been a central part of us.
'A reason to see you again' you said and I smiled.
The walkman, the CDs, the MDs, the ipods; we danced through time.
Every step of the history we made was accompanied by the playlist.
The playlist last nite.

It was all it took.
You were there, at every part.
I know I wasnt crazy coz only you share that piece of memory.
Of that playlist last nite.:)

A picture that speaks a thousand words.

Even after a long, exhausting day at work,
you give comfort to a little red bug,
who chooses the stinky smell of your worn-out body and tired hard feet
over the comforts of his soft, clean bed.
Always.





I'd choose the same too.
Always.

9th June 2009
My survivor

Congratulations on surviving one more year of your life, withstanding a house full of crazy people.
That definitely deserves a standing ovation and a celebration.

So today, we will celebrate you.
Happy Birthday, team mate.:)



P.S. Ten years since I board the train, and Im still in awe.
To you, who make this ride so fun
And so worthwhile.

The sunshine turns a month tomorrow.



Your smile makes me forget about last night:)

Daddy's boy
Of cameras..fast cars and guitars....

I want to dream just like you...



I want to play just like you...


I want to do what you do...



I want to be just like you.
So teach me daddy, Im yours...

Happy Father's Day (a real early one):)

The world is a wonder.
Get acquainted, my love.

Say u love me
and say no more.

you deal with the heartbreak everyday
knowing you are not the apple of his eye.

and u wish u didnt know
so that he will still be your number one.

its gone now. its gone.