Sleepless

I cant seem to fall asleep these days. Alim, irfan and alisha are all sound asleep and Im still up, doing unimportant things and thinking about nothing in particular. For the past few weeks Ive been falling asleep at 3am and then I'll be up at 4.30am for alisha's feeding. At 7 am I'll feed her again and at 9am, its time for her to bathe. Surprisingly I dont nap in the afternoon, which means my sleeping hours are all whacked and Im not getting enough sleep. Sometimes I get groggy, but most times Im just in a blur. Breastfeeding and changing of diapers have become like an automatic reflex ; other than that, Id be rocking her to sleep, cuddling her or 'talking' to her. She takes quick napps in the day, 2 hours max and I cant really do much of other things. She doesnt like to be left alone and gets bored easily, which some say is typical of babies her age. So my days pretty much revolves around feeding, changing of diapers and putting her to sleep.

Seriously, Id rather be doing this for a while more. Although, I can feel my brain cells disintegrating on me and my body feels really lethargic from all that sitting down for feeding and rocking her to sleep. I dont feel like going to work yet for now. To get some fresh air and my mind going for a bit, I look forward to going out .with the two kids in tow of course. If I leave them, Ill be thinking about them endlessly, but when we bring them, there's more mess and hassle of course. But we always choose the latter..dunno why. Come to think of it, alisha sleeps longer when we are out and when we put her in the sling. Its the movement i guess. So actually its kinda easier to manage her when we r out. Which is good for my sanity.

The holidays end today and we didnt even get our passports stamped this june. Irfan seemed very contented staying home, glued to the TV, much to my dissatisfaction. But me, Im getting some sort of withdrawal symptoms....travelling is a difficult habit to kick. And this body is programmed to get away every 6 mths. But alisha is too young, and for her good, Ill wait it out. And I really need to curb on that spending anyway. With two kids and ageing parents, we need all the reserves we can get.

OK typing this is making me sleepy which is good, coz i need to sleep. I cant believe typing this is as boring as you reading it now. It cant get more boring then readin about ones sleeping habits, can it?. So i better stop the blabbering now. Maybe I should just stick to posting more pictures accompanied by skimpy words.

Ok goodnite.