Palpitations. Meds too strong? Need to rest and sleep but somehow can't. A lot on my mind and body feels really uncomfortable. Worst flu I had in a long time. I hate antibiotics but my immune system can't do it on its own. Been slacking on the vitamin c.
Neeed some good music now. Probably that cd compilation of old skool local bands will do the trick. Wondering where Alim put it but I suspect he brought it to sch. Darn! That, together with my combi of meds could probably elevate me to a nostalgic high of padres, oddfellows, lilac saints, ordinary people and their likes. Although they do make me feel old. My youth would probably be a lil diff from now and so sitting at the world trade centre listening to these bands play seems like centuries ago. Even world trade centre is now just a mere memory. And the memory of listening to them from a tape on a Walkman at the back of a double decker bus probably seal the deal that my youth WAS a long long time ago. A little like a forgotten dream actually.
Thinking back, it was quite colourful though I must admit most of the time, I never felt like I fitted in.


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At last succumbed to the flu after 2 days of fighting it. Zyrtec didn't work for long and today not in sch. Whole body is aching like crazy and I have this irritating twitch on my eye that won't go away. But I wont complain.


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Everything is going fine and yet nothing feels right....


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Feeling depressed, down, constant lump in my throat. I keep seeing images of the healthy 17 year old boy; a captain, a prefect, an athlete, smiling, happy, his whole life ahead of him. And I just can't bear to see him now. My heart hurts, I don't know much about him but it still hurts. His life has chAnged. I don't know what else to do but pray for a miracle.
Strange how seeing him has affected me. My days have been pretty gloomy eversince and I just can't take my mind off him. I think about him all the time and can't imagine what it's like for people closest to him. Sad sad week:(
And for that person closest to me, I admire you for your strength in going through this extremely trying period for you. How u have handled everything is beyond amazing. Stay strong!

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