Irfan turns 6!

Happy 6th birthday my dear boy. Words just cannot describe how much I love you.

Thank you for being easygoing, for always making me feel special, for trying to make me smile when I'm down, for listening to my every request, for making doa for me in your prayer. And for thinking the world of me even though i don't cook for you everyday, feed you like a mother is supposed to.

Thank you for teaching me to love sooo much till my heart aches when I c u unwell, upset or disappointed.

I hope I won't be of too much trouble when I'm old and senile. It has been nothing but joy, being your mummy.

May HE grant you a blessed life ahead of you.

I love you forever and ever...



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Social retreat

Feeling emo. The playlist says it all. Listening to padi and it's indonesian likes, relishing the depressing tunes and the equally depressing lyrics.

Some days, i just have to retreat to my days of freedom. So free, that I could bask myself in depressing music and truly enjoy it. In a room, meant for me and only my thoughts, nothing stands in the way except probably a pile of readings and notes scattered around my room. Music filled my head, filled the emptiness of my room and set me straightaway to the mood I intend to be in. That was that. That was life when my only responsibility was to aim for that mortar board and an ugly oversized gown.

Now what's left is the playlist and I could almost feel how it was. But not quite. Never the same.

There is no rhyme or reason for a mood like this. At least not one Im am aware of. Perhaps it's just timely, a much needed retreat for me, from all the overwhelming social raya gatherings, coz I am perhaps more of an anti-social, more so than I think.

Now, excuse me while I bask in depressing music, accompanied by my anti-social mind. What I need now, is for it to rain. Then it will be a perfect night.

Riuh Raya 2011

The baju mak nenek we bought at Geylang for $28. It's so much cheaper then having it tailor -made. It didnt fit perfectly but with that price, Im not complaining.

New bangs and baju mak nenek. She looks like a miniature makcik, I cannot tahan. In this picture, she looks like she has earrings but she doesnt. No hole, pun. 

Makan kuih. Her favourite thing to do- take a small bite and put the kuih back inside.

Irfan's favourite boy cousin. Hopefully they can meet more often.

Alisha's favourite cousin, Qistina. She wakes up in the middle of the night and looks for Qistina.

Raya Hazard. He fell, cut his lips in 3 different ways, which resulted in 3 ulcers. His upper teeth became shaky and his gums became swollen and bled non-stop. Tapi Raya tetap Raya!

 We jalan and jalan till I lost track of where we have gone. Alisha had a perpetual smile on her face the moment she spots a camera.

Poses arranged by boring adults. Sit, smile, snap!

Poses as intstructed by Irfan, gamely followed by his parents and the lil mak cik.

Poses as instructed by Irfan and Alisha. He wants to close his eyes, she chose to cover her ears. She was super excited about the photos and wanted to do all kinds of things.

Too excited that in the end she had to sit in the thinking chair! kehekeh. She started jumping on the sofa and pulling on her brother. Didnt want to stop when we told her so to the thinking chair she goes. I wonder what she is 'thinking'!

Brown bear

Brown bears can be cute and cuddly, make you melt and yearn to give it a huge big hug.


But brown bears do have claws. When furious, will not have you spared. Once it stares at you with it's big brown eyes, the only chance you have is to play dead.


How do we handle a fiesty one with a mind of her own?

And how much of a character of a two year old child stays with her forever, u think?

Coz u see, I'm not so good at keeping quiet and playing dead..

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A dream of dreams

I had a dream. To take this life to a different beat, to not conform to adulthood, to live the way I want.

To slack and slog when I feel like it, to have a completely different understanding of delayed gratification. I see a place in a different land where I can do all those, where winter, autumn, spring and summer conquer my memories and accompany my experiences.

Sometimes I'm reminded of that dream. Ive long forgotten them because my hands are full and my head is no longer floating in the clouds.

But perhaps I've forgotten them because now my dreams are made up of different images. Most of them, are these...the only pleasure I derive from a heavy responsibility such as this, a commitment entrusted into my hands, to love, nurture and provide.

So some days, I might escape to the dream I had forgotten,now replaced by a reality not so glamorous, enticing,  very ordinary and conforming.

I have become the exact image of what my young mind had rejected. And now 3 days shy from my birthday, realized that dreams change and my reality now, is one I'm thankful for and blessed to have..

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Friday prayers for abang and a haircut for adik

Brand new jubah for Friday prayers, courtesy of Atok and Nenek :)

My best buds from secondary school would probably remember how i frequently cut my own hair back in secondary school days. No hassle, no money wasted, all I had to do was hold on to the ends and cut them off! haha! so kental right? I know. 

Of course those days are long over. Now with more purchasing power and hair that requires more attention other than cutting, I have to resort to the expert to ensure that my hair looks somewhat presentable.

But how can i let my talent and skill go to waste right? hurhur...so whose the lucky one to get a free haircut, u ask? The lil mak nenek, of course!

She trust me with her whole life, so what's a haircut rite? So she sat in the middle of the toilet, all still and   put her trust in my rusty pair of hands.:) 

And TADA!!

Haha! Nothing major lah, just cutting off her fringe. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can do:) 

So this time, she got herself pretty bangs, looking much neater than her 'momok' look, as my daddy calls it.  And now, I could choose not to let her wear hair clips which sickeningly keeps falling off anyway! 

Im already itching to try trimming the back. 

Maybe give her a short bob to go with the bangs, u think? ;)

Hari Raya 2011

This year Raya was slightly different from previous years. Because my parents were not around, we had a glimpse of how life would probably be like if we were to stay on our own. I must say we did pretty ok, but honestly all credit has to go to the man of the house.

Im hopeless in the kitchen and my maid is no better, so Im truly blessed to have married someone with fantastic culinary skills. I reckon Raya would not feel like one if on the eve of raya, the kitchen isnt in a state of chaos and the house is not filled with aroma of something delicious brewing in the kitchen. So Im glad to report that even while my mum was not around, the man of the house managed to cook a feast. The outcome; delicious nasi tomato and lamb vindaloo!

Honestly, Im totally amazed at how he is able to do everything and anything. Nothing is too difficult or out of his league. No complains, no sulking although I can tell how tired and sleep deprived he was. The day before the eve, he went marketing at Geylang, while i stayed home and took care of the kids. So i really have no part in it at all. Im somewhat ashamed to admit that Im really not of much help, except to act as a reminder for him to do this and that! I'm sure I was irritating.

He never fail to amaze me and im truly grateful that despite my shortcomings, he still sees me as some kind of wonderful. I hope he will remain 'blind' forever. Haha! Its amazing all the things that he is capable of doing, Im forever awed by him. Indeed, to me, he is one in a million. :)

So yep, that's it. Here's some pictures taken on the first day.

I had to go pink to make that lil makcik happy.

My in-law's place.

My place and the customary family picture.

At the airport, waiting for my parent's arrival.

Mini Us

The boy who fasted for a whole month! He did it and caught all of us by surprise.
No complains, full of patience and perseverance. I see his daddy in this one. :)

A very happy makcik, clad in her favourite colour; pink!

A somewhat decent family picture, at last.

Have a wonderful Eid, everyone! :)