Been a while since I had time for my mellow side to surface. Tonight was a sleepless one, a much needed mellow time with kings of Leon, Coldplay and their likes. I thought I had lost it but I didn't. I just need to realign. To find that person I've always been. The one who doesnt quite fit the adult world and the responsibilities she has.
Times like this I know that I've been holding it out far too long. I've been suppressing the true me far too long. Day to day living is just many roles that I have to play. Roles that aren't quite me. A working mother of 3, an educator. And none of them are truly who I am inside. Age is catching up on me but sometimes in mellow moments like these, i think of
a free spirit, a dark one, in her room having the luxury of time to
listen to blaring music, to think about nothing and yet feel everything...the girl I've known and surpressed just to fit in and live.
Half my life and only a few does know what lies beneath the surface.
So in the quiet of the night, when my responsibilities are asleep, I am me with the music as my company.
And I will be ok again.
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