Amateur grown up

The life of an amateur grown-up

Finally, after 7 years or so, Im going back home.

Back to the estate where my silly, adolescent-laden, puberty stricken memories were created.

I know Singapore is a mere dot, so small, and yet I just like being at that part of Singapore so much. I just don't know why.

Im excited to move, have a place to call my own,

especially since the odds were against us and yet we managed to get the flat we wanted.

last nite, as we took a look at the units left, we tot, damn, we r screwed. all the upper floors were taken and the lower floors were not to our liking. then we found one on the fourth floor. Though we wanted higher floors, there was something about that unit which we liked. maybe coz its facing the road we always drive by or maybe coz its connected to the car park. could be the bright lighting too. i duuno, we just liked it for some reason. but given our queue number, logically, we tot we couldn't get it.

but for some reason or another, we DID get it and im so excited to move..

....and yet...

this would also mean im creating a pile of mess. disrupting the calm of familiarity. change can be messy.

Firstly, changing school will not be easy and at this moment, its just something im not ready to do.

i will miss my colleagues.
i have heard so much about how teaching can be quite a bitchy profession. but alhamdullilah, my school has none of that. at least not too much. i don't know what it will be like in a different school.

Secondly, i will miss the noise and clutter of my nieces and newphew as well as having my sister near me. when the occasional cloud hover over my place, i could just drop by hers to take some sunshine with me. so could my parents.

that can't be done anymore.

and thirdly, looking at all the stuffs at my current place, i wonder how im going to pack and transfer all those into a 92sqm area. and how do i tell my dad nicely that the frames on the wall will look weird at our smaller new place? knowing that he has spent quite a lot on that?

i wish i can stop thinking sometime.

but right now, i have to start thinking about ceramic flooring, kitchen cabinets, lightings, blinds, sofa sets, doors and other EXPENSIVE stuffs that supposedly make a house complete.

sigh.....its no fun being a grown-up!