We've been parents for a lil more than two years now. There's still plenty to learn and much more I have not gone through. For sure having a kid makes you think about the future a lot more and also makes you doubt your capabilities from time to time.

For me the hardest part about being a parent is being a good role model. Especially now that irfan is two, he copies everyting and absorbs everything like a sponge. He's sounding more and more like us and it's scary. The intonation of his words, the phrases he uses..those are words said by people in the house. He has learnt so much from us, without us even specifically teaching him and he will continue to pick up habits, he will pick up our reactions and react almost the same way.
He is already doing that now. Im recognising more and more of myself in him.
The other night, he wanted to take his toy car from the middle room so he asked me to switch on the lights for him to find it. I was already almost dozing off on my bed and so I said, "(yawn)Ibu tired...I want to sleep..." Yes, the typical response from si pemalas ni. :) He insisted a couple of times and in the end I had to go swicth on the lights so that he would just let me sleep.

And what do I know, the other day, I asked him to clean up his toys and what did he do? You guessed it...he walked nonchalantly to my bed, plonked himself on the bed, yawned a loud fake yawn..and said," Iman tired...want to shleep.."

And now that i think about it, Im sure he must have heard me say that a couple of times, even to his daddy coz that is my overused phrase at home. I never before gave a thought to that phrase till I hear someone else say it back to me.

I can cite so many other instances...but thank god, not all are bad habits. The other day, while we were at the airport, he was running around as he always does at the airport. And of course, like an accident waiting to happen, he bumped into an uncle and irfan fell flat. The uncle helped him up and after getting up, he looked up at the uncle and said, "Sorry!"
Firstly, I didnt expect that from him and secondly, the intonation of that sorry is so familiar.

So I learn. ANd I am more aware now of the things I say and do. This is just the beginning and we still have a long way to go. At the end of the day, do I possess the qualities that I expect out of him? Or would I just be all talk and show all the opposite actions?

I suppose being a parent helps us in that constant ongoing struggle towards becoming a better person.