Being too happy always scares me.
Yes, Im crazy like that.
This is one of those nonsensical emotional entries that is sappy, boring and blah blah.
Since young, Im always told when something bad happens, it's coz Im too happy.
"Tu lah, happy happy sangat, kan ..."
Maybe that's why I dont display emotions much coz somewhere in my head, the opposite will happen.
Right now,a week ago, I was over the moon.Excited and happy.
And now, Im fearing that the opposite will happen. I have cause to worry, it's not in my head. Sometimes it is , but not today.

So I sat there and waited.
But looks like I have to wait for another week.
I sat there and thought about all the possibilities.
And scare myself even more. I think that actually comforts me.

Ok you don't have to understand.
It's here to remind me about a fear which is so real.
I'm normally good at hiding things, but not this fear today.
So many people saw it, and i couldnt hide it.
I was openly vulnerable.
Im not used to that.