Saturday, January 29, 2011

The truth about the hard truth

On a personal note, I have to say I disagree with what the Big Man said about our religious practices and integration. And I share the views of many and I suppose AMP has put it so aptly in its response to what the Big Man said. The worst part is, it's sad to note that he feels that way after all these years of his people 'trying' to work together in the spirit of community, tolerance and respect for diversity.

I used the word 'trying' because the hard truth is, it's not easy to tolerate and respect differences, what more to work together despite them.

There are so many undercurrent feelings underneath the multiracial peace we keep portraying to ourselves and others when we talk about Singapore. The undercurrent has been frequently surpressed, mainly through the choice of media coverage but the hard truth is, it is there. The undercurrent speaks of deeply entrenched prejudices towards different ethnic groups. It is there. But despite that, the different ethnic communities have tried to keep it in check, have tried to swallow these thoughts (albeit unsuccessfully at times and so thank god for coffeeshops where unhappiness can be freely spewed out amidst kopi o and teh tarik, without being blackmarked or dragged for further questioning).  And then to have someone as respectable as the Big Man say we have been unsuccessful in all our efforts to integrate, and to particularly highlight our community, is definitely a low blow.

And so now what do we do? Yes we are offended, pissed and totally disagree with his remarks. What the community does in response to his statements will be a reflection of what Islam represents. Like it or not, with Islam being so much in the limelight (for the wrong reasons, mainly) our actions are very much under scrutiny and whatever we do, is always quickly pointed out to have religious implications as opposed to individual preference.

In my humble opinion and based on what Ive read in an excerpt from the discussion sessions with a particular prominent scholar who came to Singapore in March 2006 to talk about "Embodying Quranic Values for the Modern World", it's important that we move beyond rhetoric. Many of us are fond of saying that Islam is a religion of peace. This is not enough. Instead we should be agents of change and establish peace through deeds. And hence, how we respond to the Big Man's comments, will be the true determinant of whether his comments are baseless or not. And if Islam is indeed a religion of peace.

But having said that, it is not to indicate that the community should just be quiet and accept all of his remarks with an open mind.

The excerpt I read goes on to mention that we must embody the spirit of jihad. Now, many will feel uncomfortable with this word but as many of us would know, the meaning of jihad had been miscontrued in so many different ways and thus its true meaning has been lost in so many of us. The gist of it, is "that jihad calls for one to speak truth against violations of values."

In this case with the Big Man, it is important that we respond to his remarks to state the reasons why we disagree.  it's probably jihad in some level, though Im uncomfortable with the term. I totally disagree that we should just be quiet and accept what is being said. It is important that we make ourselves heard through embracing dialogue and discussion and definitely NOT driven by negative emotions and extreme actions. What we say is important but HOW we say it , is  just as important.

But to be realistic, don't expect to change what he thinks about the religion. It is difficult to change a man, what more a man of 90 years. But it's not him we want to change but more correcting the misinformation which is engraved in print. It's the misinformation of Islam which is right now being absorbed by the million readers out there. That is what we are trying to change.

Lastly, what I find most interesting is to see how the community reacts to what he said. I especially enjoyed reading all the comments, forum discussions of different people in response to what the Big Man said. But as I read them, I do worry that the response is based on defending the PRIDE of our own community as opposed to correcting a man who is simply clueless about the simple truths of Islam.




Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A day with Alisha

Spot the fake!



Sticky Chewy Chocolate

I finaally succumbed to the flu virus. My body aches like crazy and I have a terrible headache. Been going to sch last week with fever and I tot I could get better with the medicine I bought at the clinic but I couldn't. So I was given antibiotics and was told that I needed 2 days rest. I really don't feel well and been lying in bed since yesterday. I dunno if all the lying down has made me weaker n sicker. But my body is that weak! Really hoping I get better soon. Being sick sucks!


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Monday, January 17, 2011

Purpose

Ok so my decision is final. Actually I have been waiting for the right time to say it and tomorrow is a good time. After that, I can heave a sigh of relief. I can't wait!!! I hope she will let me do it as soon as possible, before the end of this year. Can't wait!

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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Love

 
When things get cloudy, I'm glad there's one little person I could go to.

Grey matter

My fdw is going home this Sunday. Yes fdw can be irritating, impossible and such blood suckers but I feel sorry for her. She pisses me off so bad sometimes that the term vomit blood doesn't sound like a joke anymore. But I feel sorry for her. I can understand how she feels. It doesn't make her right, I'm not saying I like her, but I can understand her situation so well. I agree with her decision.
I remember many years back, I wanted an escape route too. I'm sure it was written somewhere in my adolescent stricken diary. Some people just have this natural gift of driving people away , of bringing out the worst in you. But alas, there was no such escape route for me because we are bonded for life. I would have taken the first flight out. If I had a choice.
So I did not stop her and instead wished her all the best. If I were her, I would have long been gone by now. Honestly.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Under the weather

The house has turned into a mini clinic with me being the staff nurse on duty. Alim, irfan and Alisha are all down with fever and flu and I'm the only one left standing. I took childcare leave today to bring the lil girl to the doc, the last one to succumb to the mean, mean virus. So far I'm spared and I'm praying it will stay that way. The dining table is full of multi- colored medication and we have burnt a hole in our pockets to get those multi- colored supposed germ busters for all 3 of them. Since then, it was all about watching the clock for 4 hours, 6 hours to pass and serving them with the medication. Things seemed to be getting better and hoping tomorrow everyone will wake up feeling much better and I can go to work in peace!

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Sunday, January 09, 2011

Reading is Fun! (Alisha @19 months)

Some parents believe that flashcards help their kids to recognise words and eventually read, even when they are as young as 6 months. My own in-laws believe that when a child is constantly exposed to the words, they will memorise these words easily and recognise them in no time. The younger they start, the faster and easier they will learn. I've tried flashcards on Irfan but Ive never been consistent and it wasn't easy for him because he was an extremely active baby who just wouldn't sit still to even look at the flashcards. My in-laws made their own flashcards for Irfan and spurred by their determination, I tried my best to do the cards with him, even though he was walking around. But I knew, he wasn't interested in them and the last thing I wanted was to force anything on him.

It wasn't fun for him and I have broken my own rule; learning has to be fun..and obviously the flashcards wasn't fun for him and I felt horrible forcing him to read like that. So I put them aside (but seeing the flashcards made by my in-laws always made me feel a lil guilty) and stick to things he enjoyed and loved. Obviously, flashcards wasn't suited for him and sitting down looking at flashcards was just not his learning style. A kinesthetic learner like him needs a different approach altogether.

Eventually, he learnt to read. He is beginning to read fluently now and his reading journey had a lot to do with phonic games and less of word memory. And one day after googling on the net, I bought the Oxford Reading Tree (ORT) series and he was hooked. I know during my time, most kids started on Peter and Jane series, but personally, I find them a lil boring (ok, a LOT boring actually!). The plot is not imaginative, far from creative and does not encourage the desire to read at all. For ORT, Irfan was so motivated to read out every single word because he wanted to find out what happended in the story. Isn't that the ultimate purpose of reading? An interesting story encourages any kid to be self motivated to learn to read. And there are so many activities you can do with your child as an extension to his reading for example, coming up with a different ending to the story, role play etc. He loved every story in that book and enjoyed the illustrations too because there are so many hidden details which you can discuss with your chid.

So I strongly recomment ORT to any beginner reader out there, but of course the key is to first know your child and find a perfect material for him/her. It worked for Irfan but it might not work for another kid. Of course, its definitely worth the try.

Having said what I said abut Irfan and flashcards, now Alisha is a totally diffrent ball game. When she started counting around 10 months, I googled in you tube to see what other kids at 10 months were doing and how I could help further her learning abilities. I came across many lil babies aroung 10 to 18 months being able to "read out" words from flashcards. I found some ready made flashcards on the net (powerpoint format) and tried a few on Alisha, just for fun. Credits to BrillKids.com for the ready made slides. She sat through all of them and even wanted more! She didnt even budge from the seat until I ended the ppt. I was surprised but excited at the same time. Unfortunately I wasnt consistent because of the usual reasons; busy at work, home blah blah... But I guess we did it often enough coz one fine day, when I ran through the slides, she was able to remember all of them! I was quite amazed.

Unfortunately again due to other commitments, we did not extend these ppt flashcards and make new ones. She is constantly asking us to show her the cards. She had already learnt all of the cards we taught her and right now, Im finding time to do more, but i have to admit, I have not progressed much.

Here's a lil video of her. Ive always wanted to capture her in video since she learnt the cards 3 months ago (when she was 17 months) but didnt manage to. Finally managed to catch her on camera today. You'll see in the video that she is a lil cheeky, she often says "The End" in the middle of no where. Initially I took it as a cue that she is no longer interested and so I will stop the slide, only ending up to her protesting and insisting that I restart.


And since she was in the mood to show off to the camera, she went on to count from 1 to 14..something Ive been wanting to capture in video since she started a few months ago.


I guess the important thing is to always remember that every child learns in their own way. Once we find their learning style, it is easier to move on from there. Ive learnt that from my own 2 kids.  What I have also learnt is that with every child, the key is to spend time with them and get to know them well. From there we will roughly have an idea of what will interest them, excite them and use it to map out their learning plan. Alisha picks up things very quickly by listening and watching ( auditory and visual learner) while Irfan needs to be engaged in hands-on activities to learn. As parents, what we can do is to harness these styles and create a fun and exciting learning environment so that they can reach their full potential. And of course, constant praise and motivation always, always works!

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

First of many firsts

First day of school done. Not too bad.. But I'm looking forward to cny break:) saw the tiny primary 1s going through their first day in sch and their mummies n daddies sending their once-upon-a-time tiny babies to their first day of formal education clad in school uniform. Oh my, my turn will come next year. My turn to be in disbelief on how fast the lil one has grown.
For now, cny please come quick!

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