By the way, here's the full story of the sweet lil 6 year old girl who succumbed to cancer.
ourfiestyprincess.blogspot
Painful.
Haiz, overall been a depressing past few weeks all around. Sometimes hope is the only thing you've got and what do u do when it is not enough anymore? When hope lets u down again n again. Do u give up believing or trudge on and put yourself out there again for another disappointment?
As a person born and raised with a religious faith, we believe HE knows best, that HE knows what is in store no matter how dire or depressing the situation may be. No matter how painful the situation you are facing. You are raised to believe that everything happens for a reason and never to question the reason for only HE has the answers.
But when bad things start happening to me or people around me, I am ashamed to admit that at times, this belief and faith are somewhat shaken. I hate it when there's nothing i can do except to just stand around. And try to make things better with nothing more than mere words. It's not enough.
Sometimes, at my lowest low, I wonder, I question and then I feel guilty. The rational mind has been trained that things should be fair, that good things happen to good people, that a good deed will be met with another, that a prayer will be answered, that if u just try hard enough, you will get what u want.
But alas, thats not true all the time. And when that doesn't happen, the human mind starts to question, wonder and draws all sorts of emotions. When emotions get into the picture, the mind becomes irrational.
Although I feel guilty for all my doubts in my brink of depression, I am also aware that I am only human with a mind that has limited comprehension, that is myopic, that can only see the here and now. For that brief moment when I doubt, I m thankful to always find deep in me, a strong sense of faith still there, still intact. I suppose it's always there for all of us to reach deep into when we reach a certain threshold of emotional pain that the rational mind cant grapple with.
And no matter what the outcome may be, how painful and undeserving the situation may seem, the strong sense of faith helps to "teach" the human mind to rationalise, to understand and "teach" the heart to let go and free the pain.
And one thing ive learnt again again is that when things go out of control, falls through a carefully laid out plan, it only serves as a reminder, that as humans we cannot control everything. And that there's just things we cannot do no matter how much we want them. We have the power to do so many things and yet we are powerless.
For those who believe that there is greater power who commands "Be! and It is!, then it's perhaps easier to reach out to the faith deep within, for we believe that what we can't see does not mean it's not there.
Hoping tomorrow will be better, for all of us who are down in the pits, who have lost someone we love, no matter how lil that being may be. Come what may, trials n tribulations, we will trudge on for the human spirit is made stronger than we think.
But hey, who am I to say, I have not even gone through half of what these brave souls have.
HOPE, pls don't let us down.
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