Keeping this lil black heart shiny and dandy has been no easy feat. I've been polishing, although I know u won't believe so.
BUT I'm sure it's not shiny enough for you yet because you are still trying to shove that cleaning rag down my throat, hoping it will reach straight to my heart.
I'm trying not to gag. I'm trying to breathe so that I can get some oxygen and think with a clear head.
But i have this to say. I think I'm giving up now. I am sorry.
I'm really very very very tired from all that polishing.
But what's more tiring is living with the fact that you think I have a heart as black as coal.
To you, I always fall short.
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Saturday, January 14, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The first week of school was tiring but exciting!! It's amazing how just doing something different can uplift your level of enthusiasm. It was like a breath of fresh air, seated at a new, extremely clean n tidy table, surrounded by a group of colleagues that shares, gossips and JOKEs! I'm relieved to be out from the sterile environment. Well maybe it wasn't that bad to begin with, but getting to mingle with a different group of people is indeed a welcoming change.
The highlight though, will be starting the year with a whole load of planning, monitoring of dept stuff totally off my chest! I didn't have to start the year, making sure plans are in store. Cracking my brains on how to mobilize my dept. Last year, i knew i was at the deep end, when i realized i wasnt cracking my brains anymore. I was merely going through the motion and i knew that it wasn't a good sign.
I used the time i have now to put a lot of thought into my lessons. Getting to know the 8 year olds were nerve wrecking for me, believe it or not but honestly, there are just too cute to be badly scolded. Each pupil is unique and with a class of only thirty lil people, I plan to get to know them inside out by the end of the year.:) I felt like a beginning teacher, relearning everything again, all excited abt a new beginning.
And then, there's that lil student I call my son. He said the first week has been great for him. Everytime he spots me, he will give me a smile and a lil wave. At first, I used to glare at him but after a while I figured, he will get sick of it at his own accord. No kid can be too happy that his mum is in the same sch for too long, right?!:) He's just excited to be in the same school as me- for now at least.
But honestly, it's not too bad being able to see your son in school, catch glimpses of him eating, playing or just interacting with his peers. But the best thing for me is being able to share the same experiences with him. In a way I'm getting to know my
son better.
And being in the afternoon session also means I get to spend a good amount of time with Alisha n irfan in the morning, at the start of the day when I'm
fresh and energetic.:)
So all in all, things have been great. Looking forward to another day:)
Posted by Blogpress IPhone-
The highlight though, will be starting the year with a whole load of planning, monitoring of dept stuff totally off my chest! I didn't have to start the year, making sure plans are in store. Cracking my brains on how to mobilize my dept. Last year, i knew i was at the deep end, when i realized i wasnt cracking my brains anymore. I was merely going through the motion and i knew that it wasn't a good sign.
I used the time i have now to put a lot of thought into my lessons. Getting to know the 8 year olds were nerve wrecking for me, believe it or not but honestly, there are just too cute to be badly scolded. Each pupil is unique and with a class of only thirty lil people, I plan to get to know them inside out by the end of the year.:) I felt like a beginning teacher, relearning everything again, all excited abt a new beginning.
And then, there's that lil student I call my son. He said the first week has been great for him. Everytime he spots me, he will give me a smile and a lil wave. At first, I used to glare at him but after a while I figured, he will get sick of it at his own accord. No kid can be too happy that his mum is in the same sch for too long, right?!:) He's just excited to be in the same school as me- for now at least.
But honestly, it's not too bad being able to see your son in school, catch glimpses of him eating, playing or just interacting with his peers. But the best thing for me is being able to share the same experiences with him. In a way I'm getting to know my
son better.
And being in the afternoon session also means I get to spend a good amount of time with Alisha n irfan in the morning, at the start of the day when I'm
fresh and energetic.:)
So all in all, things have been great. Looking forward to another day:)
Posted by Blogpress IPhone-
Monday, January 02, 2012
The teacher and her son-student
Tomorrow, I will start school. In the afternoon session. I seriously don't know what to expect. I am still not asleep yet so I suppose being in the afternoon session is a good thing? I sure hope so.
Downside; there will be no afternoon dates or movie with alim. I will see him at 7 in the morning and then 7 in the evening:( it might be common to most but it will be completely new for us and just the thought if it makes me sad.:(:( boo hoo.
Tomorrow, the boy sleeping in my bed now will be a student in my school. I wonder how that will work out? How does it feel to bring a student home, u think? Honestly, I'm still in two minds abt the idea but a decision has been made and we'll just see if I can be professional abt it. During recess later, will I help my students or my son? Hmm dilemma dilemma.. But I've told irfan, Alim and myself that I will not be his mummy at all when I am in school, which means as much as I want to stand there and take a picture of my firstborn buying food or lining up, I will not.
In school, I shall be a teacher to my students, u think can? Haiz, maybe it's just me, complicating things. But seriously, I shouldn't even take one single photo of my son on his first day of school, u think? Oklah will try to do it discreetly if possible. Of course, the idea of asking him to pose will be out and I definitely can't get him to pose with me and get someone else to take for us!! Haha! That one dah melampau kan! Haiz so tempting.
Alamak, seriously i dunno how to play dual role at the moment. As you can see I'm an excited mummy of a P1 boy but still must maintain cool coz I'm also a teacher in the sch! Haiya!
Hoping for the best! Wish us luck!
Goodnite!!!!:)
Posted by Blogpress IPhone-
Downside; there will be no afternoon dates or movie with alim. I will see him at 7 in the morning and then 7 in the evening:( it might be common to most but it will be completely new for us and just the thought if it makes me sad.:(:( boo hoo.
Tomorrow, the boy sleeping in my bed now will be a student in my school. I wonder how that will work out? How does it feel to bring a student home, u think? Honestly, I'm still in two minds abt the idea but a decision has been made and we'll just see if I can be professional abt it. During recess later, will I help my students or my son? Hmm dilemma dilemma.. But I've told irfan, Alim and myself that I will not be his mummy at all when I am in school, which means as much as I want to stand there and take a picture of my firstborn buying food or lining up, I will not.
In school, I shall be a teacher to my students, u think can? Haiz, maybe it's just me, complicating things. But seriously, I shouldn't even take one single photo of my son on his first day of school, u think? Oklah will try to do it discreetly if possible. Of course, the idea of asking him to pose will be out and I definitely can't get him to pose with me and get someone else to take for us!! Haha! That one dah melampau kan! Haiz so tempting.
Alamak, seriously i dunno how to play dual role at the moment. As you can see I'm an excited mummy of a P1 boy but still must maintain cool coz I'm also a teacher in the sch! Haiya!
Hoping for the best! Wish us luck!
Goodnite!!!!:)
Posted by Blogpress IPhone-
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