Reflection

There are many ways to raise a child. Sometimes I have to make difficult choices for my children. I have to decide what is best for them. Sometimes I am not sure what the outcomes of my decisions will be or if these decisions will go the way I want them to.

There are so many choices out there. Do I want to develop my children in sports, the arts, concentrate on the academics? What approach do I want to expose my children to. We are spoilt for choices. There are so many brand names out there claiming to be the best.

Upon reflection, I realize it is important to have a clear goal of what values and skills I want my children to have. This will make my decisions much easier and more focused.

At the end of the day what values and skills do I deem important for my children?

If my goal is for my children to be good Muslims, what then should I do to reach this goal?

A typical parent in Singapore will send their children to music class, swimming class, enrichment classes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I am swayed by that too. The intention is for our children to develop cognitively and physically. But I'm
beginning to question my decision which I realize do not match the goal I have for my children. Why am I spending so much time honing these skills when I am now realizing that these lessons might not help me reach my ultimate goal I have for my children.

This is what I hope my children will be: I hope they will have beautiful character. And I can't find any other better way to teach them this than to raise them as good Muslims.

This is the basic foundation I hope they will develop. To be good Muslims who have faith in a greater power whom they truly love. No matter what kind of adversity they face, be it competing with 7 million other people in a small island, a rigorous education system or a troublesome mericrotic state, they will face every adversity giving their best knowing that problems are mere challenges in life which is a bridge to something more eternal. I hope they realize hardships are ok and that they draw strength in HIM.

Every parent has their own hope for their children. Every parent is entitled to their own view.

At this point, I am not saying that education is not important. I am not saying that I don't care if my children fail their exams as long as they have good character. Not at all. But I believe with a good Islamic foundation, they will be equipped with sound values. They will never want to fail. They will want to succeed. And even if they fail , they will put in greater effort, put their trust in HIM and strive harder.

This basic islamic foundation prepares them for any system, no matter how crappy our system is.

Eversince the white paper came out, there are many questions on what kind of life our children will have here in sunny island Singapore in the future?

The question is, what kind of life do we want our children to have, with or without the white paper? It will be naive to say we want our children to have an easy life when easy is relative and subjective.

What is easy anyway? Does it mean being able to enjoy cheap housing, own an affordable car, have a less stressful education system, having time to pursue their interests not determined by the govt, having time to relax at the beach, spending limitless time with family, being able to not work and raise their children without having to worry about money?

Will that be an easier life? Will that guarantee our children will be happy?
Will migrating be a better option?

Are we to say that immigrants who came to singapore many years ago had a better life than the people who stayed behind in their own countries? If the definition of better is in terms of the money they make, then yes. If the definition of better is the type of housing they stay in, then yes. The problem is, our worldview of an easy and better life is hinged on material terms or on a typical image of a person sipping tea at a cafe, suntanning on a beach, someone who is free to do what they want or someone who doesn't have to work and not worry about money.

ultimately, if a person is contented with what they have, they will be happy nonetheless.

I don't know. I don't have any of the answers.

My guess is it's a matter of perspective.

My hope is my children will be equipped with the right values to be happy in whatever system they are in. To see the world as a bridge and nothing more. To see difficulties as temporary and opportunities to strengthen our faith in HIM.

At this moment, I might sound like some religious ya ya papaya. Haha. But as I grow older, I'm beginning to see more examples of how people with strong faith, who are able to manage any kind of adversity with serenity and calmness. I also see these same people going through their lives with so many blessings even though they might not be the most well to do.
And yet, I also see those that struggle and complain when money becomes an issue. So what sets these two apart?

I think it's the values, worldview, faith and basic foundation.

It's the examples I see right before my eyes.

So will I stay in another land? Definite yes if this island does not allow me to pursue my goal for my children. If my children cannot be raised as Muslims, if there are no opportunities to pursue Islamic knowledge. If that were the case, I will be the first to go.

It's hard to explain here in my blog everything that I want to say. Especially since I'm getting rusty from
not writing for a long time.

This entry is more of a reminder to myself.

My views might change. It may not. This is what I think now. It will be interesting to see how I feel years down the road. That's what I like most about writing in a blog.:)

Goodnite!