Reminder
I know that love is a powerful thing.
It can make me do things which I thought I am not capable of doing.
And everyone knows being loved is a wonderful feeling.
I dunno why he loves me. I dunno how our love was born when we started out as total strangers. i dunno why I love my kids so much, other than the fact that I gave birth to them. The love for them is so immense that my conscious mind thinks I can never live without them.
And yes, I will do anything for them.
Its easy to feel when I have a face to see, a smile to appreciate and a hand to hold.
But knowing that the face i see, the smile i appreciate, the hand i hold and all the love that I ever knew were all created by an even greater power, shouldnt it be much easier to put the greater power above all else? shouldnt my feelings be a million times more? even if the naked eyes cant see? even if my limited hands cant touch?
because this time its true, I can never live without that greater power.
But what have I done for the ultimate love that created all love?
What have I done for the ultimate love that created all love?
Why have I not done enough?
What is stopping me from being consistent?
WHat is stopping me from translating this love into actions?
WHy do I always forget?
When I know at the end of it all, these are the only actions that matter??
when I know this love is the only kind of love that prevails??
So I ask myself again,
What have I done for the ultimate love that created all love???!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Party, concert, CD and that rainy nite.
(basically, nothing important)
August should be kind of interesting. Other than the dreaded fact that id be going back to the madness call work. Theres that gathering for the two kiddos. Im not big on parties and crowd, but the lil boy loves them..i really have no idea where he gets his sociable side from. Anyway, i hope it would be fun for him, coz at four, he already gets this whole birthday party thingy. I have been putting off birthday parties involving more than my immediate family member coz im not sure if he understands it all, and more coz Im kinda lazy to plan them. But now that he's four, i think its the perfect time for a party, where he can help organise, enjoy himself and remember. Coz its a day to remember for him afterall, and not for us parents.
So this time, I have left all the details to that one and only family member who bothers so my job mostly is to keep tabs on budget. And Im intending to involve the lil boy in the planning and preparation for his party coz there's always a good learning experience in that and plus that whole sense of ownership thing. Besides, he does have his opinions on what his party should be like and what to include and exclude. My job is to organise all his messed up thoughts and all-over-the-place ideas.
So we'll see how that will turn out.
Other than that, there's Keane. (which reminds me, I havent bought the tixs). That should be fun, I hope coz im really in need of a good concert. The last concert I went to which left an unforgettable impression was definitely Coldplay.
Speaking of music, Zee Avi has been keeping me company these nights. For now, she's the chosen one for me, cause her voice, the jazzy pop music, the guitar and ukelele is calming and very very simple and clean. No strain in her voice, tunes just seemed to effortlessly roll out from her tongue. And simple is what I need right now. Listening to her probably help me entangle my stubborn mind? Hah! So thanks for the CD.
Other than that, I've been thinking about that night when it rained so hard and the all-too-familiar music came on and I had a vision of something. And then later at night, he told me of the exact same vision he had. How spooky was that? And i was also thinking of that night, when it was dark and crowded and he stopped to wait for me when everyone else just walked on basically coz no one else knew me.
So I say thanks for waiting for me amidst the crowd.
And most times, waiting for my slow mind to come to its senses.
The teen flick dvds Ive been renting have probably messed with my mind again. But this time, its probably what I need.
(basically, nothing important)
August should be kind of interesting. Other than the dreaded fact that id be going back to the madness call work. Theres that gathering for the two kiddos. Im not big on parties and crowd, but the lil boy loves them..i really have no idea where he gets his sociable side from. Anyway, i hope it would be fun for him, coz at four, he already gets this whole birthday party thingy. I have been putting off birthday parties involving more than my immediate family member coz im not sure if he understands it all, and more coz Im kinda lazy to plan them. But now that he's four, i think its the perfect time for a party, where he can help organise, enjoy himself and remember. Coz its a day to remember for him afterall, and not for us parents.
So this time, I have left all the details to that one and only family member who bothers so my job mostly is to keep tabs on budget. And Im intending to involve the lil boy in the planning and preparation for his party coz there's always a good learning experience in that and plus that whole sense of ownership thing. Besides, he does have his opinions on what his party should be like and what to include and exclude. My job is to organise all his messed up thoughts and all-over-the-place ideas.
So we'll see how that will turn out.
Other than that, there's Keane. (which reminds me, I havent bought the tixs). That should be fun, I hope coz im really in need of a good concert. The last concert I went to which left an unforgettable impression was definitely Coldplay.
Speaking of music, Zee Avi has been keeping me company these nights. For now, she's the chosen one for me, cause her voice, the jazzy pop music, the guitar and ukelele is calming and very very simple and clean. No strain in her voice, tunes just seemed to effortlessly roll out from her tongue. And simple is what I need right now. Listening to her probably help me entangle my stubborn mind? Hah! So thanks for the CD.
Other than that, I've been thinking about that night when it rained so hard and the all-too-familiar music came on and I had a vision of something. And then later at night, he told me of the exact same vision he had. How spooky was that? And i was also thinking of that night, when it was dark and crowded and he stopped to wait for me when everyone else just walked on basically coz no one else knew me.
So I say thanks for waiting for me amidst the crowd.
And most times, waiting for my slow mind to come to its senses.
The teen flick dvds Ive been renting have probably messed with my mind again. But this time, its probably what I need.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Nur Irfun-ny
So a few weeks back, Irfan brought home his latest artwork from school.
He came home and plonked this on my lap.
They call it the art potato cause the base is made of potato. They used raisins for eyes and mouth, and carrot for the nose.
So I asked him if his art potato has a name.
He said yes.
So whats his name, I asked.
Twiddling the artwork in his hand,
he replied.....
His name is Nur Potato Nur Chips.
I almost died laughing that day.
And if I could see the thought bubble emerging out from Irfan's lil head, it would probably say this, "Nak sangat semua nama ada 'Nur' kan; amek kau!"
:0
So a few weeks back, Irfan brought home his latest artwork from school.
He came home and plonked this on my lap.
They call it the art potato cause the base is made of potato. They used raisins for eyes and mouth, and carrot for the nose.
So I asked him if his art potato has a name.
He said yes.
So whats his name, I asked.
Twiddling the artwork in his hand,
he replied.....
His name is Nur Potato Nur Chips.
I almost died laughing that day.
And if I could see the thought bubble emerging out from Irfan's lil head, it would probably say this, "Nak sangat semua nama ada 'Nur' kan; amek kau!"
:0
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
RAndom
Counting down the days to the end of my freedom. Give and take, I have slightly more than a month left. I try not to think about it and Im truly enjoying every minute I have with the three of them.
Its also great that Im able to catch up on the music, i missed that a lot. Been meaning to read, but knowing that soon I have to get back to work, Id rather be holding the brown bear than a book.
Ive been eating a lot, constantly hungry and looking for food. Im addicted to durians now, especially those that's just out from the fridge; really cold and smooth. Am i not supposed to be eating durians coz im breastfeeding. Oh Oh, too late now.
Been meaning to do some runs with alim at our always vacant carpark but he has been going and Ive been......well, busy.
Speaking of carpark, the things that take place at our almost secluded carpark can be pretty interesting. It always involves stationary cars with engines on, hazy looking windows, newspaper aligning every gap at the window and some disposed tissues on the floor.... We managed to sneak a peek once in a while but nothing we have seen is as interesting as what we have imagined. Hah!
Ok, moving on...
Here's a thought..what would you do, if you have a pet; say a monkey and there's just this particular trick that you want your monkey to learn but you are just not sure how to teach it. You have told the monkey repeatedly on how to do the trick but he just refuses. So you decide to send it to a professional to learn that trick. But your monkey is unhappy and is reluctant to go. Do you..
1) Tie a leash around the monkey and drag him there?
2) Tell the monkey, its your last dying wish for him to learn the trick?
3) Sogok the monkey; "If you go, I'll supply you with a lifetime of bananas?"
4) Forget about the trick and love the monkey for who he is, coz he is no less of a monkey if he doesnt learn the trick?
Thats a lot of 'monkey' for a short paragraph...anyway what Im trying to say is, sometimes monkeys have to listen to their masters, sometimes their masters just need to take time to listen to their monkeys? Understand? No?
Its not important anyway.
Its only 12 am,,,,theres still hope of me sleeping early tonite.:)
(maybe I should have named this entry Rubbish at 12 am)
Good nite!
Counting down the days to the end of my freedom. Give and take, I have slightly more than a month left. I try not to think about it and Im truly enjoying every minute I have with the three of them.
Its also great that Im able to catch up on the music, i missed that a lot. Been meaning to read, but knowing that soon I have to get back to work, Id rather be holding the brown bear than a book.
Ive been eating a lot, constantly hungry and looking for food. Im addicted to durians now, especially those that's just out from the fridge; really cold and smooth. Am i not supposed to be eating durians coz im breastfeeding. Oh Oh, too late now.
Been meaning to do some runs with alim at our always vacant carpark but he has been going and Ive been......well, busy.
Speaking of carpark, the things that take place at our almost secluded carpark can be pretty interesting. It always involves stationary cars with engines on, hazy looking windows, newspaper aligning every gap at the window and some disposed tissues on the floor.... We managed to sneak a peek once in a while but nothing we have seen is as interesting as what we have imagined. Hah!
Ok, moving on...
Here's a thought..what would you do, if you have a pet; say a monkey and there's just this particular trick that you want your monkey to learn but you are just not sure how to teach it. You have told the monkey repeatedly on how to do the trick but he just refuses. So you decide to send it to a professional to learn that trick. But your monkey is unhappy and is reluctant to go. Do you..
1) Tie a leash around the monkey and drag him there?
2) Tell the monkey, its your last dying wish for him to learn the trick?
3) Sogok the monkey; "If you go, I'll supply you with a lifetime of bananas?"
4) Forget about the trick and love the monkey for who he is, coz he is no less of a monkey if he doesnt learn the trick?
Thats a lot of 'monkey' for a short paragraph...anyway what Im trying to say is, sometimes monkeys have to listen to their masters, sometimes their masters just need to take time to listen to their monkeys? Understand? No?
Its not important anyway.
Its only 12 am,,,,theres still hope of me sleeping early tonite.:)
(maybe I should have named this entry Rubbish at 12 am)
Good nite!
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Rubbish at 4am
Hello 4am..again!
This time of the morning, Im thinking of a long drive somewhere.
The kind of drive that requires maps and the unknown. I want to go on holidaaayyyyy, how many times must I sayyyyy. :P
WWW is my constant companion this time of morning. With time in my hands, its amazing the people you bump into in this digital world.
Maybe this is not a good idea afterall.
Anyway, i still cant believe the amount of tax I have to pay! and the last line in the tax letter read, "Thank you for contributing to nation building." Arrrghhhh!!
Alisha is babbling a lot. And her voice is as loud as her brother's. If not; louder! OH-OH! Is that my doing??
I spent on something I dunt need----again! Teach me some self-restraint please.But i look forward to going out tomorrow, just coz I want to bring it. Silly, stupid, yes I noe.
When Big Boss calls you and you are on leave, what do you say? -"Im on leave. Dunt disturb me!!!", "Nobody else ah?", "Is this urgent?" Wat???
You know wat I said, "Anything else, just call me" . I should go knock my head against some bricks now.
Irfan is such a good boy when we bring him shopping. He gets out of my way. I mean reaaallly out of my way. I tot I lost him again today.
And dats wat Im thinking about at 4am? Bah!
Hello 4am..again!
This time of the morning, Im thinking of a long drive somewhere.
The kind of drive that requires maps and the unknown. I want to go on holidaaayyyyy, how many times must I sayyyyy. :P
WWW is my constant companion this time of morning. With time in my hands, its amazing the people you bump into in this digital world.
Maybe this is not a good idea afterall.
Anyway, i still cant believe the amount of tax I have to pay! and the last line in the tax letter read, "Thank you for contributing to nation building." Arrrghhhh!!
Alisha is babbling a lot. And her voice is as loud as her brother's. If not; louder! OH-OH! Is that my doing??
I spent on something I dunt need----again! Teach me some self-restraint please.But i look forward to going out tomorrow, just coz I want to bring it. Silly, stupid, yes I noe.
When Big Boss calls you and you are on leave, what do you say? -"Im on leave. Dunt disturb me!!!", "Nobody else ah?", "Is this urgent?" Wat???
You know wat I said, "Anything else, just call me" . I should go knock my head against some bricks now.
Irfan is such a good boy when we bring him shopping. He gets out of my way. I mean reaaallly out of my way. I tot I lost him again today.
And dats wat Im thinking about at 4am? Bah!
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Rewind
Sometimes when my mind wanders, its surprising where it lands.
Being away from work and having slightly more free time always makes me think about things I shouldnt.
The last thing I have time for is nostalgia.
But it haunts me and the songs dont help.
Sometimes I wonder how I got here, from back in '99 and even before.
Theres just certain things which you can never forget even if you have not visited that memory for many many years.
Sometimes, all of a sudden, u land on a piece of memory and suddenly you can feel, smell and hear everything as if it was happening right now.
You remember every little detail there is; the colour of the wall, the song in the backgound, the clothes you were wearing..
And you recognise yourself all over again.
Truth is, theres just some things you can never forget.
Even if you think you have forgotten about them.
does that make sense at all? No? Its probably just my insomnia talking.
Anyway, on a lighter note,
Happy Birthday to the person I have always turned to all my life and who have always answered my stupid questions.
Sometimes when my mind wanders, its surprising where it lands.
Being away from work and having slightly more free time always makes me think about things I shouldnt.
The last thing I have time for is nostalgia.
But it haunts me and the songs dont help.
Sometimes I wonder how I got here, from back in '99 and even before.
Theres just certain things which you can never forget even if you have not visited that memory for many many years.
Sometimes, all of a sudden, u land on a piece of memory and suddenly you can feel, smell and hear everything as if it was happening right now.
You remember every little detail there is; the colour of the wall, the song in the backgound, the clothes you were wearing..
And you recognise yourself all over again.
Truth is, theres just some things you can never forget.
Even if you think you have forgotten about them.
does that make sense at all? No? Its probably just my insomnia talking.
Anyway, on a lighter note,
Happy Birthday to the person I have always turned to all my life and who have always answered my stupid questions.
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