Old and grey.. Will u love me anyway?

Dear Irfan and Alisha,

Everyday I pray that when I am old and grey, I will not be of too much trouble to the both of you.

When it comes to health, I'm sorry but I really don't have any control. I don't know how my old age will be, and if I'll somehow become very ill and if you do decide to take care of me n love me, I will like to apologise in advance for being difficult and being an added responsibility to you.

But if health permits and i still stay relatively healthy and strong when I'm much older, one thing i will make sure is that I am financially independent.

Of course, I can only try and no one knows what the future brings, but I will work my ass of now to make sure I don't have to be financially dependent on the both of you when im old. I think that's what responsible parents should do.

You have your own lives to build, your own challenges and struggles raising a family of your own so I really do not want to add on to your responsibilities.

I know you will be wonderful children who will want to live up to your responsibilities to take care of me when the need arises, and knowing that about the two of you, I hope I will never have to put you in a situation where you will have to take on that responsibility.

I know you will do anything for me, (I hope) but I really don't have the heart to see you struggle (emotionally) because of me.

I will remember not to spend every single cent of my money on the here and now and not think about my old age, or just "tawakkal" that my life will be taken care of. That is indeed irresponsible because ultimately which good child will stand around seeing their parents in difficulty? I'm sure you will try your best to help me but I also know that you will be struggling with your own lives.

I hope I will never have to demand money from you because I know it will sap away every ounce of sincerity you have and makes you re evaluate your noble intentions of making me happy. I hope if you do have spare cash and decide to give me, it's because you love me, you feel good about it and not because you have to.

And I will try my darnest not to demand money from you just because I think you can afford to give them to me.

And more importantly,I will try my best never to think that getting money from u monthly is my RIGHT.

No matter how much you earn.

My dear babies, I don't know how my old age will be.
and that is why I wrote "I will try" instead of "I will". I don't want to be too cocky and say I will NEVER be that kind of parents. Because honestly, The future is not in our hands and circumstances sometimes forces us to do otherwise.

But I pray I won't be of too much trouble to the both of you.

I can't promise but I do what I can now, when I am healthy and strong. I'll save some for my old age, I will try my best. But ultimately HE decides. I dont know how i will feel when im old. I dont know what my thoughts are.

I am not a perfect parent and I learn as I go along. Learning can be a painful process but I try to take it positively (though not always successful) and these uncomfortable experiences help me anticipate what lies ahead and gives me a better idea of how my babies will feel in the future if I behave in a certain way. So yes, although painful, it's not a lost cause.

But Whatever the future holds, my dear babies, I hope you will love me no less when I'm old.

I hope I will never ever make you feel like you are lousy children who can never make their parents happy.

I know how sad that feeling is.
I'm sorry if I do.

Love and kisses,
Your mummy forever