My children love to fast. I am quite intrigued by this. In fact it's easier to get them to fast than to eat at times. Irfan started when he was five and alhamdullilah it has been made easy for him.
However, this year especially was pretty hard for him as he has soccer trainings. In fact I was the one who told him to break his fast if he could not stand it. But after every soccer training, he will be the only muslim boy in the team who is still fasting. I have no idea how he does it or why. He has never once complained about being thirsty or hungry or ask my permission to break his fast even when i saw that his lips were pale and dry. In fact i was the one who was worried and kept telling him that its ok to break his fast. He never once gave in to my offer. Alhamdullilah.
We have always been encouraging but truth is we were never quite strict about insisting they fast. We are stricter when it comes to praying or doing homework than we are about fasting.
What comes as a big surprise for me though was Alisha. I did not expect her to be able to fast too at the age of five. When irfan was keen on fasting, we attributed his ability to his personality. He is much better at controlling his wants as compared to the little princess who will kick up a fuss when she doesn't get her way.
The first 2 days was tough for her. She was in conflict and could not control her hunger and thirst. I allowed her to break her fast but tried my best to encourage her. On the 3rd day, she told me " I think I am ready to fast" alhamdullilah and since then she never once break her fast prematurely. From the third day on, she fasted full day. Once she started committing to fasting, she woke up diligently for sahur and never complained about being hungry or thirsty. Subhanallah. HE has indeed given strength to them in a way I could not understand.
I have spoken to them about fasting. I've always told them that fasting teaches us that we can be in control of our needs and wants. I told them that they are strong enough to refuse something which seems tempting and nice for something which pleases Allah. This aspect of self control is something important I hope my children will learn early in their life because for sure there will be many temptations out there. And fasting is a great way to start.
For a child, fasting is pretty tough especially when they see someone drinking their favourite drink or eating cold ice cream when they are fasting and thirsty. So every time they manage to control what they want and stick to the course, I encourage them by saying that they are strong enough and have awesome sense of self control.
But truth is i did not really play a huge part. I am still quite clueless why they enjoy fasting and is able to do it. They are probably not big eaters to begin with.
Some say fasting at 5 is too early. But if the child is willing I say why not. And to me it's not the fasting itself that matters but they are practising something more important. They are learning self control and self discipline and most importantly sacrificing their needs and wants for Allah. That is the beauty of fasting that I want my children to see and practice so that it becomes a habit in their life. Through fasting they realise that they are indeed strong enough and capable of controlling their wants for HIS sake.
They might start at 5, 7 or 9. I think it doesn't matter as long as they are willing and ready. I don't think it's right to force them too early lest they will find fasting a chore. Whenever they are ready, as parents we will continue to encourage and motivate them. Our target should not be to get them to fast for a month but to teach them day to day on how to deal with their wants. So that what was tempting on day 1 will not be the least tempting on day 2. With the hope that they will develop this ability and apply it into their lives way after Ramadhan. They will also learn that it is indeed possible to be happy with so little.
Ramadhan is a wonderful time with so many lessons to learn. It is a great time to start a new habit. May these children be given strength to choose not only what their heart desire but what is decreed by HIM, no matter how tempting the former may be. And for me to be given strength to practice this understanding too. Insya allah.
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