Europe Trip 2007

It's been a looong time since I wrote an entry here. For those who still check out this page now and then, I guess I am finally back now with some stories to tell. The reason for my absence was really coz I forgot my password and user id and admin stuff like that. Too many passwords, my limited brain cells can't seem to take it these days.

So anyway, I just got back from one of the most adventurous trips I've ever had I think . Adventurous coz, we were in europe, in 3 different countries in a span of two weeks, with a manic, super hyper toddler under two and the amount of luggage that comes with it. Carrying diapers and two big tins of milk to last for two weeks, really adds up to a lot of stuffs. Over there, we were largely guided by maps after maps and a lot of intuition and helpful people. We were glad, alim's parents came with us to London and Paris, leaving us on our own in Swtzerland, while they made their way to Rome.

But i must say, it was one of the best trips we've ever had precisely coz the little one came along. People around just warms up to us when they see his quirky antics and friendly nature. He made so many friends along the way and it was just nice to watch them play. We were lucky he didnt get sick or anything like that and surprisingly slept soundly the most part of the 14 hoours flight. Phew for that! To those who worry about bringing a lil one to travel far and away with diffrent time zones, I would say, just go for it. You won't regret it coz u would have so many funny memories to bring home with you. But be prepared in case things go wrong, pack all the medicine he would need just in case, enough toys to keep him occupied and most importantly, read his body language to know when he's tired or has had enough.Irfan had one day of wacky sleep patterns and adjusted just fine the following day to the right time zone.

If you want to go sumwhere but not sure where to go, I would strongly recommend to go Switzerland!! You must go there at least once in your lifetime. It's just like paradise, the view of the mountains, lakes, glacier and alps just takes your breath away. trust me, the pictures and postcards that u see? well, the real thing is even better than that! I like the place so much, the air is fresh, its calming and the view is so panaromic that you cant believe your eyes. You should just lay your mat by the lake, with a view of the white alps and green mountains before you, and just sit there and do nothing. Everywhere you are, everywhere you turn to, the view is just like a picture. When I was there, I really didnt ever want to go home. You must go there, you must you must!!

London and Paris is full of history, like u would imagine it to be. London is full of historic castles, palaces that dates back to centuries ago. We went to buckingham palace and witnessed the change of guards, trafalgar square and picadilly circus and witnessed the youths hanging out. we also went to windsor castle, tower of london where the crown jewels are and finally saw the London bridge. Madame Tussaud was interesting and some of the statues really looked real, very real. But some, looked nuthing like the real people.
but the highglight of London, to me was taking the London Eye and of course, Stonehenge! It's quite spooky actually seeing the stones, standing majestic in the middle of the empty stretch of green field. Some of the stones looked like they had faces on them. Hmmm, makes you wonder...

The drive out of London was nice. We rented a car and took two days to drive out of london and see the countryside. We were surrounded by green fields and pretty cottages along the way. We managed to visit Shakespeare's birthplace and his home town as well as oxford university. The cottages were really pretty and we were so envious of the acres of empty green fields they have everywhere. If you ever decide to drive from london out, you might want to stay at cheltenham, at this place called the rising sun hotel. The hotel is on a hill and you would definitey not be dissapointed with the view. Along the drive you would pass cotswolds, one of the most scenic drive (as claimed by lonely planet) out of london.

And then there was the Eiffel Tower for Paris. To me, Paris didnt feel as romantic as it was hyped up to be. Maybe coz, we had the little one with us, and running around chasing after him, didnt quite capture the romantic atmosphere that Paris is famous for. Having the lil one spill hot chocolate while we relax at the cafe also didnt quite fit the idea of chilling out at the cafe and sipping latte. Told you, you would bring back many funny memories, if the lil one comes along! And I must say, Paris is not as clean as I expected. We could smell the stench of piss along the way. But i suppose the eiffel tower makes up for everyhting. the view from Eiffel Tower was great and very very windy. We took a boat ride along the river and we had a good view of the its famous buildings, like Notre Dame and Arc de Triomphe.

If you go to Paris, you must also visit the Louvre musuem where the real painting of Mona Lisa is placed. The strcuture of the musuem is really unique too.

Things are super expensive there, so we didnt shop much. But we did walk along oxford street in london and champs elysee in paris, where the shopping streets are.

If you ask me to compare between these three countries, I must say my personal favourite would definitely be switzerland. I just cant get over it. I keep telling alim i must go back there. You see the pictures and u would know what i mean. If you decide to go, visit grindelwald and you see great views. Go to jungfrau which is the top of europe and play with snow.Super cold! jakun irfan had a great time playing with snow and throwing em around. The view from there is also breathtaking. But the best part for me was when we took the cogwheel train up to schynige platte and you see clearly the peaks of the three highest alps in switzeralnd; jungfrau, eiger and monch. Haizz..i cant describe it. You could also capture the view of the oberland, where the two lakes hugs the mainland. We also took the boat ride along the super green lakes. Relaxing.

I could really go on and on about switzerland but this entry has gotten to be very lengthy. And Honestly, we are dead tired now. I dunno how I am going to go to tommorow's meeting in school, where reality strikes back. Irfan is also very lethargic and suffering from flu and slight fever. Guess we are adjusting. Glad he got sick only when we got back and not while we were there. I think you could imagine how tiring our trip was, having the lil one with us, making milk along the way, changing his diapers every now and then, chasing after him everywhere. Im just glad non of us fell sick there. Thank god for that!

Im just glad i got to spend two full weeks with irfan. The time spent was really priceless. As a result, I think he has become very clingy towards us. Dunno how it be for him when we get back to school.

Will upload the pics later. So many stories to tell..silly things that happened along the way, but maybe I'd do that later. Right now, Im gonna catch up on some sleep. Till later..

I have finally uploaded the rest of the Philippines pictures.
Go here.

Today, a Mr Ducat held pre-school students hostage in Manila.
Although I don't agree with the way he did it, but I suppose Im not the only one who has strong feelings about the state of the education system there and how the political arena is responsible for the lives of so many disadvantaged children there.

I can't agree more with him.
Having said that, I'm also quite mad with the fact that he will cause the kids involved to be deeply traumatised. They should not be put through this torture even if it is intended to be for a common good.

Anyway, read more here if you want to

5th and final entry
Ok this is the final entry on philipines...

The only reason the pictures are so pretty is not because I'm fantastic with apertures, shutters and f-stops. Neither did I bring the bulky slr with me. Anyway, that belongs to Him.
The reason these shots were captured is simply because i met a certain someone who flew across parts of the ocean to meet me.
someone who landed in cebu at 4am and had to spend the night at a dingy motel, just so he could continue his journey the next morning to the resort Im staying.

2 nights before I left, while I was at beautiful cebu resort(where we stayed), having debrief with my fellow groupmates at the poolbar, my eyes gazed past the pool and i saw a shadow of a familiar frame and the features of a guy I know.
My instincts made me jumped out of my seat, ran to him and almost fell over whilst giving him a big hug.
I totally did not expect to see him.
I was caught by surprise.

I would have fallen for him if not for the fact that I have already done that 9 years ago.

He came at the apt time coz my job was officially over, and the last 2 days was for RnR. Of course, I had to 'abandon' my roomate and joined him for the next two nites. the next few days together, we braved the streets of Cebu on our own, took the jeepneys, walked along the streets,mingled with the locals, patroned the night market and pretended we live our lives that way. That's when he took the photos u saw. We tried to speak very little, playing along with the fact that almost everyone seemed to think we are filipinos, till we open our mouths that is.

the other day was spent quietly at the resort. took the jetski, hanged around the beach and shared with him everything that i have experienced over the last week in Phillipines. I poured out to him about how I felt about my group, the pitiful sight of the lil children, how my views had changed and how piffed I was about the education system there. I must say, I really enjoyed that talk we had.
and of course, our conversation drifted to the lil one back home, whom we both sorely missed.

if there's one thing i remember about the resort we stayed at, it would have to be the bright stars that shine in the night. there were plenty of them and all u have to do to enjoy the night is to pull the beach chair right in front of the sea, lie flat and just watch the zillion bright stars above you. we managed to see some fireworks too. apparently they were having sme kind of celebration at some distant corner of cebu.
for me, it's indeed an unexpected bonus to be spending that special moment with someone u had fantasised being with, just a few days ago.

i shall not bore u with the educational aspects and work-related stuffs which I have learnt. There were so many learning points from team management to leadership and passion.

there were also some memorable moments, funny ones and scary ones( the ghost kinda scary). but what I could not escape from, was the usual reaction of how I young I was and friends we made there guessed that I was at the most, 20. Hah! That's like NINE years younger than what Im supposed to be. A principal of one school even joked that I must have graduated when i was ten years old! of course, I didnt find that funny. I'm just tired from telling everyone that i just LOOK young but Im actually not THAT young. But the fact is, I AM the youngest in my group and always seen as the baby in the group. Well, good and bad I suppose.

I came to philippines with a lot of apprehension and left with a greater understanding of a life I almost forgot about. Sometimes, seeing so little, makes one realize about the basic fundamentals, about things which are really important to our lives. it's good to be woken up like this once in a while, coz 'sleeping' too long can make me too self-absorbed, myopic and confused about what really matters most.

ok. so that's about it. Im glad to be back.

back to work, now.

Religion and culture- Entry 4
Filipinos are mostly Catholics and are strong devotees.
We went to a Church to take a look and here are some of the pics.






They love music a lot. Particularly guitars.




Slums.

Streets of Phillipines (Entry 3)
Below are the common mode of transportation there; the jeepneys
The roads are filled with colourful jeepneys. It only cost about 20 pesos to ride on it. They are quite a sight there, making the streets look real pretty with their unique designs and bright colours.
There are no specific stops for it, u just have to stand around and they'll stop wherever u r standing. Look at the side of the jeepney to see the places where the jeepney will take u. It's quite an experience riding on one. Some jeepneys can be real crowded that u have to stand at the edge of the jeepney. But due to the crowded traffic and busy streets, normally jeepneys don't go faster than 40km/h.
U seldom see buses there. filipinos normally travel by jeepneys or taxis.

be prepared to be hassled by mobile street vendors. they will try to sell u drinks and titbits.if they know u r tourists, they will be more persistent. for me, i didnt have much of a problem coz many times i was really mistaken for a filipino!

Children of the phillipines.Entry 2(read previous entry)


The twinkle in their eyes

Their innocence


Playing together

Their beauty shining against the light


Bursting with energy


Mischief

All scruffy and happy.
They look like any of ours, don't they?

Entry 1
Im back from the phillipines.

there's just so much to write. maybe i'll break it up into short posts.

pain is always a good way to wake up this seasoned soul from the comforts of taking our everyday life for granted. looking at poverty eye to eye is one way of instigating that pain.

looking at the children, especially, made me wish there's something I could do to make their life a lil better.
I see lil boys, jus like irfan, running around, all scruffy and barefoot, playing with old cardboards and bricks and surrounded by the dust in the air.
i see boys a lil older, holding out their hands, asking for any amount of pesos they could possibly get.

what makes them different from irfan and other lil children in our country? it's just WHERE they happen to be born, dat's all. i know life isnt fair, but is it stupid of me to wish that it is?

clean up the scruff and dirt, they will look exactly like our children, the enthusiasm, the smiles, the mischief and the twinkle in their eyes.
they are deprived of so much opportunities. it's just not fair.

i keep on asking my colleagues. why cant the phillipines government make education compulsory? isnt it their responsibility to educate each child and provide equal opportunities for all? they might have so much potential in them, buried deep beneath that dirt and scruff on their faces. if only, we could polish them, im sure they shine like the stars. all they need is an opportunity to learn and be taught.

it really makes me sick in the stomach that there are many children all over the world that do not go to school. And sicker to know that some are very close to home. i went home and when i look at irfan, im reminded of the lil children I saw back in phillipines. it's not even a good feeling to feel that we are lucky.

i look at irfan's toys strewn all over the floor and I just get that sick in the stomach feeling again. i think i'll stop now.

Talk is cheap, anyway.

Look at the pictures again and tell me, it doesnt bring you down.

Life is interesting because humans are complicated.
Each of us come with our own strengths and idiocyncrisis. Each of us are unique.
Feelings make human interactions very delicate and challenging.

For those people who are GENUINELY simple and happy-go-lucky, they are easier to please and be pleased.
They are usually good to have around coz they are infectious.
They don't need theories or quotes to behave the way they do.

For others, who TRY to be simple and happy go lucky, life is a constant struggle for them,
They fight a lot of internal battles between their heart and their head.
They know how they should react but they feel the exact opposite.
They feel hatred but they KNOW they should love.
It's a constant struggle that emulates into frustration and confusion.

Should we tell someone that we don't like how they are behaving?
Or do we tell OURSELVES to learn to like how they are behaving?

Do we try to CHANGE others or do we try to CHange ourselves?
Which battle is harder to fight?
Which is a lost battle?

Below are my thoughts:
Below are the lessons Ive learnt.

1) Try to understand others first before you seek to be understood.

2) Listen UNBIASEDLY to the other person. Listen without pre-conceived thoughts and judgements. Listen because you want to understand NOT because you want to find fault with what they say or because you want to prove u r right.

3) Control your feelings. This is a real challenge but if you can, you have risen above yourself. And if you can't, promise yourself, u would, next time.

4)Let out your emotions only to those who are trusted to be your sounding board. We are humans, we need to let out our emotions sometimes. Choose the right people.

5) Feel whatever negativity you want to feel but NEVER translate it into ACTIONS. Once, you react beadly, and people are hurt, it's difficult to take it back.

6) when i remember that death is the only certainty, most things seem so petty and trivial. And some things are just not worth your headache and heartache.

7) pray for strength to control your emotions and the wisdom to know what is worthy of effort.

8) Never think that you can change anyone by TELLIng them to change. No one likes to be told what to do

9)It’s not about trying to CHANGE someone. It’s about bringing out the good side of that person. Everyone has a good side. Everyone

10) You get what you give. If you don’t love, don’t expect love back. You will never get it. If you love, but do not get love back, don’t ask why, don’t compare what u have given, and don’t measure it either.
It just means the other person doenst feel loved from u.

11) Nuthing in life is fair

12) Not everyone will like you.

13) Stop asking why he/she is cruel/disrecpectful/rude/irritating. Ask HOW do I make things better?

As humans, these are not easy things to do but life is a journey.
Be forgiving of others and ourselves.
Accept imperfections and learn from our mistakes

It’s really isn’t that bad.

The CNY break



Been intending to write about our recent Chinese New Year break but have been busy with other things.
So finally.

Well, being the lazy people that we are, we decided that we were not up for any travelling beyond the causeway. basically we just wanted to go sumwhere and rest, and not having to deal with the any long distance travelling, packing and planning.

and so we decided to book ourselves a room at rasa sentosa. the last time we were here was on the 13th of sept 2005, my birthday. i was heavily pregnant, and feeling extremely lazy and immobile. irfan was due a week after that.

invisible Irfan


VEry visible Irfan


i suppose we do get in this habit of booking ourselves a room in the sunny island itself, each time the lazy mood sets in. not a very good deal, i noe. but, like i said, we can get really lazy sometimes.

anyway, irfan had a good time turning the hotel room upside down. or more like, turning himself upside down. the bath tub and the balcony was his favourite. the more dangerous the better. he prefers levitated areas, great for him to climb and a great way to instigate some kind of heart attack for us!



we brought him to the beach, under the sweltering heat which im not fond of. but he didnt care about the heat i suppose. the hotter the better.



and of course, he got excited over the swimming part. The one thing that would definitely make him squeal in delight.

and then, there was the walk around sentosa. many things have changed and i hope for the best for sentosa. it has so much potential u noe, but so far its really not attracting the crowd. but there was a massive jam when we came and when we left so i suppose there's hope.

and then, there was the father and son teamwork, working together to grasp a balloon which was way too high. things we do for a balloon. detemination, perseverance; great values to impart. and what better way to do it, then to go get that balloon.


so u think they could get it?

anyway, for the pics go here.

Do u noe that talking too much can be hazardous to ure life and other's sanity?
especially when you are angry and your words just nevr appear right?

It's best u get a grip of your mouth and hold it shut for a while.
and think
of the repercussions
of verbalising the negative thoughts in your one sided mind
then maybe u can refrain from turning evil INTENTIONS into ACTIONS
which you will one day regret,
even though u might never want to admit it.

evil intentions are not wrong (maybe)
until it is made known
publicly.

So try your best to hold it in, would u?
even if it means putting your hands over your mouth.


Ahh..that's better!

Blogger hates me.

So im TEMPORARILY at http://designitoo.multiply.com

Im back in NIE after E-learning week last week. Last week, we just had to do online discussions and reflections FROM HOME for the whole week. i really dunno what to hate about this course. well, aside from the travelling of coz.

anyway, last week was a much rested week. i think all these slowing down is turning me into one lazy person and i cannot for the life of me imagine how my life would be like when school really starts for me in Term 3. back to madness, skipped lunches and long hours.

we r now busy preparing for our overseas study trip. my group is going to the phillipines. ?! what luck! we were given a list of countries and had to draw lots. Looking at the kind of luck ive been getting, i wasnt surprised when we didnt have the luck to go NZ and australia, the best two countries on the list. well, then again "best" is subjective.

thr group that is going indonesia ended up going to NZ as well because of the flood and im just praying for something to happen in phillipines just so we could go somehwre else too. hehe. very selfish i noe.

i can list a thousand and one reason why im not keen on this study trip. on the top of my list would definitely be being away from Irfan. how am i going to wave to him at the airport come Mrach? I would be away for the whole one week!! that's the longest i will be leaving him so far.

and then of course, there are the paranoid thoughts of plane rides, Abu Sayaff, guns and a long list of other fears which i am too shy to reveal here. :)
But these paranoid thoughts ae not baseless, hokay!

some said we r lucky to be going phillipines coz, it's not a country u would go to for a hoilday. and if not for opportunity like this, you would never get to see that country.and then there's that beautiful island CEBU, which is a must-see.
it didnt make me feel better.

but go, I must. and march is just round the corner.

and i suspect my bag would be full of instant noodles, canned food instead of clothes coz i heard food is really difficult to get there.

im still trying to psycho the husband to follow me. hehe. i dunt mind phillipines one bit if irfan and husband is around.

oh well.

i will bring mangoes for everyone, though:)

Rosie Posie NicoLee Smithee



Click me!

so last fridday, i was late for class again.
its weird that nothing ever changes.

anyway, it was the taxi driver's fault.
driving at 60 km/h! even if i go out at 6am, it probably wouldnt make a difference.
my classes are usually at 9am, and it usually cost me 25 bucks to get to school.
imagine that!
so it really pisses me off when i get a tortoise for a taxi driver.

finally, when i did reach sch, it was already 9.05am.
and i had to climb the Batu Caves staircase up to my class.
NIE is full of those. arghhh!!

by the time, i finally reached class, it was 9.15am!!!!
i was catching my breath, panting and gasping for air.
the moment i stepped in, everyone turned and stared at me, the tutor included.
so much for entering discreetly and making special effort to turn the door knob as silently as i possibly could.

" so, miss, are you ready to share your thoughts on what u expect from this module?"
alamak, blum sempat letak bag pun.
I couldnt find my voice.

"errr..errr..."
those around me tried to explain what the tutor was asking.
i understand english perfectly fine, thank u very much.
my only problem was, i didnt even know the title of the module!!!!
it was our first lesson for the module and i had no idea what it was about.

"errr...i dunno wat to say....errr..i want to learn how to assess my programmes?" i finally said.

stupid answer.
coz halfway thru the lesson, i relise the module had absolutely NUTHING to do with that.

great. just great.
later on, the tutor came over to me and said
"u look like u left ure thoughts on the bus just now."

at this point, i was getting irritated and really badly wanted to tell him how i actually took the freaking cab, and not the bus, which cost me 25 bucks and still late sumore
coz the driver was a dying snail!
and how even my grandmother can drive faster than the snail cab driver.
and how my legs shivered and quivered, like jelly when i was climbing up the 120 sumthing steps to class.
and how i would appreciate it if he(the tutor) could just stop talking and leave me alone rite now!

but i didnt.
coz im supposed to be the calm and collected sort.
and creating drama is just not my thing
so i smiled and resorted to cursing him under my breath.

n i vowed to come 15 mins ealy next week.
u think can?

Irfan was discharged last Tuesday.
Thank God for that.
I think the nurses at KK pun sujud syukur..
one less maniac patient, bulldozing down the hospital corridors

He is home now, back to his usual tak tau diam self.
but im not complaining.

anyway, im here now, sitting at NIE library, finishing up on commenting on the hundreds of threads in the blackboard.
i find the shorter entries more interesting, i dunno whether anyone bother reading the long ones. so im keeping my comments short n sweet.

and sitting here all alone, with the lappie and music, some memories are fast flooding my mind. NIE sure does have some good memories.
i was dating the last time i was here.
and that itself, made the whole world felt so much different; brighter and chirpier.

but of coz, the one memory that stood out starkly from my mind, was being locked up right here in the library with my , back then, boyfriend, but now, husburnt lah.
well it was a pretty long story, but to cut it short, they closed the library without checking if anyone was still around.
apparently, we were not the only two goons inside, two other people later emerged from some corner and together,
we found ourselves face to face with a locked door and shutters.

the empty libary was still brightly lit, thank god.
but it felt like the movies, where we were transported into some other time zone where other people just disappeared from the face of the earth.
so silent. so empty.

come to think of it, i cant remember now, how we got out. yahh..must ask him later.
but we did in the end.
brought to the security room or sumthin and had our matriculation cards checked, blah blah.
the boyfren wasnt even in NIE then, and was found out.
the guard took that as a way to turn the tables and made it an issue,
when we were the ones, who were wrongfully locked up. cheh!

well, it was quite funny
and so, with that memory and a few others, i do have fond memories of this place.

and now that im back here as a student again,
i sometimes forget that im going home to my own place and a son waiting at home.
and that im not meeting the boyfrien after this and going out for a movie, or town or dinner.
coz that's pretty much the memory associated with this place.

well anyway,
till later....

Grey days

Irfan is in hospital.
Tonite will be our third nite there.
He has bronchiolitis.
We r home to bathe, get changed and grab new clothes.
My parents are taking over the shift for a while.

He isn't as active as usual, but he isnt weak either.
When he is up and about, he'd be doing his rounds, tormenting other patients with his non stop loud chatter.
Other than that, he takes his naps, sits in his cot, fiddling with his toys.
He is not feeding well but his wheezing is not as bad anymore.
He still manages to keep us entertained, in between heavy breathing and wheezing.

We hope he gets better soon.
To come home with us.
So that his toys at home won't look hauntingly still anymore.

Lonely no more

When you are bored and lonely, you just have to make new friends.


hey,are u a girl or a boy?

Lonely


undefined

someone's bored and lonely tonite. daddy's not around to play ball and goof around with.

tonite, it's just u and me.