Have patience. There's nothing to lose being a doormat when it comes to your old, ageing parents/parents-in-law. there's nothing to lose when you endure words from your parents/parents-in-law that cuts you like a knife. They might not be the best of company but they need you. No matter how u might hurt them with your absence, with your self centred attitude, they yearn for your attention. So don't think they don't understand you, how about trying to understand them, even when they hurt you the most. I don't want to state the obvious but there's no excuse good enough to not visit, not call, not care about your parents/ in-laws.
Yes, even if you have problems of your own. Amidst your own problems its so easy to forget them. But thats not good enough a reason. And showing you care just by thinking about them 2 seconds amidst your busy life is not enough. It's not money that they want either. Just your presence.
Even if they piss you off, get on your nerves, step all over you, you should never ignore them. They never intend to hurt, they don't do it intentionally. It might be against better judgement. Fine they might be wrong. But so what? This is not a battle which you should even consider. So what if you are right and they are wrong? So what if u let them step all over u? Yes i know they can be difficult to love. Trust me, i know. What have you got to lose tolerating them? What have you got to lose swallowing your anger?
Talk to someone who can cool you down. Complain, let out your anger to your sounding board. Take time to overcome your anger but never ignore your parents/parents in law. Have patience, have patience, have patience.
Remember, they are not getting younger. They are old. They need you. Give them your best cause they don't have that many years left. Don't live to regret it.
And most importantly, your kids are watching you. Would you want your kids to react the same way when you are old and behaving irrationally?
Someone who is difficult to love, sometimes needs the most love. I wish they didn't want it from u, but they do. I wish they didnt care that you are constantly missing, but they do. So get over yourselves and spend some of your time with them, even if it's difficult for you. There's nothing more worth it than this.
And lastly, I'm not trying to act all good, smarter, better than anyone. Believe me, I have my own struggles too. Every single day with them. And we are trying. And I know constant reminders from people are important coz we do forget. So I'm just here reminding. Who knows someday, I might need the same piece of advice from you too.
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