Another baby post(pose)

Being on 4 months maternity leave means having the luxury to watch the lil baby sleep and take tons of pictures using the simple,handy, trusted Hp.
Every lil movement, pseudo smile, clasp of the fingers.. Love them all.

Honestly, I've missed having a little baby around after Alisha. They just grow up too fast and it felt like I've never got enough of their glazed look, angelic smile and half awake expressions.

And now I've got the chance to relive the moments again. (And its probably my last.) So excuse the entry after entry of baby pics! I have a feeling there's more pics to come;)

This is how the lil guy sleeps. Zen or not? My fav is the clasping of the fingers. The lil fingers got interlocked by chance as he was moving around:)

Colours of the lifeless

The colour's grey tonite. But of course no one cared. It's the novelty of being comfortable. It's the novelty of no
longer having to work too hard to please.

Grey turned into red and fury raves over. Of course no one cared. It's the novelty of having our hands full with other things to even notice. Or it was noticed but could not be bothered about. Oh how times have changed.

Red turns into black stone cold. It has hardened and accumulated. One day, just one day it will happen. It will happen.

For now, it's alone again in this room. Morning till night.

To the moon and back

I wish I can get into your world.
Praying for the best.
I'll always love you, lil guy.
To the moon and back.

Destined

There's a reason for everything.
For these precious gifts. Entrusted into my arms.
These precious ones; they are really not mine to keep forever.
But they've already captured my whole heart, from the first moment I held them.

8th day and an identity, finally!

Finally, my fickle parents have decided on a name for me!

6 days old

You will always be our brightest star, in our eyes, you will always be perfect, no matter what happens, no matter what the outcome is. We will always love you no matter what. We will be here for you every step of the way. We just can't help it.

The doctor called you the "zen baby". It's probably your small eyes, calm demeanour or sleepy nature. I dunno how long u will be zen-like coz u r only a few days old. But for now i think we like it and we agree it fits you perfectly. So that will be your name for now:)

@ 6 days old. In his rare awake moments.

And then there are three:)

So yes! It's over! Alhamdullilah. The littlest one is sleeping beautifully in his cot, looking so peaceful and calm. I just had a good massage and I feel soo much better.

So like previously, for the sake of my bad memory, I'm going to pen down the birth journal here for future reference. The other two entries were very helpful and thank god for them I could remember what exactly happened.

So here goes:

19 July : 12pm, had bloody show. Very mild contractions. Text husband that it could be tomorrow.

19 July : 12am; contractions started to be regular, but still far apart. The contractions werent as painful as I expected them to be. Lasted the whole
night and I didn't really have a good night sleep. Thought of going to KK but was too tired to go.

20 July: 6.30am, prayed subuh and contractions were getting intense. Was still not sure if I should leave soon. Wanted to wait it out as long as I could.

20 July: 8.00am, after breakfast and a bath, decided to leave for KK. The contractions were still not too bad so I was still in two minds. But decided to go anyway coz the contractions were regular.

8.30am: reached KK. Went into the triage. Was 4cm dilated. Was pretty disappointed coz I dunno how long I'll have to wait till 10cm. Even asked the nurse if I could go home and wait. Hurhur. She said I have to be admitted coz my contractions were regular, I was bleeding and 4cm dilation was enough to be admitted into labour ward.

9.00am: all strapped up and the waiting game started. Strangely, the contractions were getting milder. They were the least painful compared to irfan and Alisha. So I was pretty convinced this will take a pretty long time.

9.30 am: Georgie came and broke my water bag. I told her my contractions were mild and this will probably be long. She checked my stats and said my contractions were good and strong n pushing the head further down. I'm already 6cm dilated. She joked that I could probably have my lunch too.
She had an op to attend to and told the nurse to call her when I'm ready

9.30-11.15 waiting game continued, watched tv, alim took pictures, contractions were manageable strangely.

11.25 the big ones came. The crazy contractions just suddenly came surging, felt like someone searing my upper thigh. 3 to 4 mad contractions later, I called the nurse and told her to check me.
I was sooo ready to push. There's no other way to go but push. I demanded for georgie but the nurse insisted on checking me first. I was mad! I didnt want the nurse to deliver me. I knew i was ready. She checked me and I was 9cm dilated!! She asked me to push coz she said she wanted to see how well I could push and if the baby's head was coming out. I was fuming mad. Why cant she just trust the patient! Urghh!! I pushed. Then she finally believed me and got someone to call Georgie.

Of course Georgie took a while to come and I was in a frenzy. The crazy contractions were like every 1minute and they kept telling me not to push yet. How is that even possible! As if I have control. They shoved the gas into my face. It made me super giddy. I hated it.

Finally Georgie came! I was so relieved to see her!!! She worked her fingers, I pushed on cue. Everyone was very encouraging, telling me they could see the head crowning. That kinda gave me strength to continue pushing knowing that there was good progress.

11.49: The little one popped out!! It's all over! The pain magically disappeared! And I held him in my arms;);) I fell in love all over again.

He was 3.38 kg. Smaller than Irfan but bigger than Alisha.

Then the stitches, cleaning up and true enough, an hour later, I was in the labour ward having lunch!

Alhamdullilah. Thank you Allah for masking most of the pain and giving me the strength. Nothing is possible without YOU. And I know on my own, I'm never strong enough.

Now the healing process starts. It's another kind of pain and challenges, but I'm grateful for them:)

We've yet to give a name.

Meanwhile here's some pics from my phone. He looks chubby when he just came out but all the cute bloatedness has subsided and he looks somewhat smaller now.

Sweety pie

You had me at your first cry, sweety pie.

Last lap

Can't sleep. As usual. The nights are getting rather uncomfortable. With irfan, I had little aches and pain towards the end. With Alisha I had frequent pulls and Braxton Hicks. With the 3rd one, it's a lot more severe. Been cramping and pelvic area is sore. I couldnt sleep last night because of bad cramps. Luckily i have been through contractions before and so i could tell that it wasn't the real deal. It was just uncomfortable which made me toss n turn to find the right position. My back hurts a lot more too. It's a lot worst when I'm lying down actually. Overall, extremely uncomfortable!

Probably coz I'm getting older and my muscles are going the extra extra mile to withstand the growing baby and prepare for delivery.

Throughout the whole pregnancy, the baby has been very active. As I'm typing now, he's squirming around in me. Of the three, he is the one who moves the most.

I slept at almost 4 last night. Let's see if I can fall asleep earlier tonite.

Goodnight!

A story written. A promise made. When we were 21

For all the things you have done for me, I can never thank you enough. There was never a day that goes by when I am not grateful for having you in my life. I can tell you a thousand times over, but I don't think you will ever really really fully understand how blessed I feel for all these moments with you.

I have nothing to give you in return. Everything falls short in comparison. In a million years, i can never repay you for all the care and love you have given me. Sometimes I wished, things could have been easier for you, would probably have been easier for u if it was someone else , some place else, some family else. There's a reason for every reason, and I hope it's all the best reasons for you.

It isn't your birthday, it isn't our anniversary but this entry is dedicated to you. You are a special person, and you don't know it. You just do what you do. That's what I love most about you.:)

We were 21. We wrote a story. We made a promise.
Thank you for being true to it, always.
Indeed you are always here for me and still doing everything you can.

Thank you for making me the main part of your story. You'll always be everything in my story. Since we were 21.

Together or nothing

They are both afraid to sleep alone. So, as much as they argue in the day, they are just so relieved to have each other in the same room every night! Haha.

Gotta love this pull out bed. Especially in a small room. Tucked away neatly in the day, giving the needed floor space for play and at night, just pull it out, n Alisha has her own bed.

Caught them sleeping in the same posture tonite, even down to the lil revealed back, probably the result of a turn and the fan blowing. :)

Love to bits. So much. ;)

And the leave begins.

I'm on leave already this week. Looking forward to spending quality time with the kids especially the lil girl who is going to be a big sister soon. Although she's very excited to welcome a lil brother and thinks that being a big sister is so cool, I doubt she really knows what to expect from not being the littlest anymore.

And I will definitely miss treating her like the smallest baby in the house. I don't know how much attention I can divide amongst the 3. But I suppose, a newborn will not really take too much of my time, spending most of his time sleeping. (Insyallah, he comes out healthy and everything works well)So I suppose things will still be pretty normal?

And I suppose, since she's the only girl at the moment, she still conquer the princess title and will always be showered with all the attention a princess deserves, at least from the daddy that is.

Looking forward to my leave next week but not really looking forward to all that pushing and contractions which are really coming soon! Gasp! Jitters!

Kids' World

Sleepless in a big bed

Been having trouble sleeping these days. Luckily I'm in the afternoon session. Perhaps I'm the one taking a much longer time to adjust to all the space in bed with the kids now fully adjusted to sleeping on their own in another room. Hehe.

It wasn't as difficult for them as I thought it would be. Perhaps because we have been talking about it for the longest time prior to the actual change. We made it sound so cool to have the room all to themselves and every time I read to them, I try to subtly point out how the kid characters in the books sleep on their own.

We also let them choose the new bed and I bought Alisha a new pink blankie just to help her with the transition. It worked and for three weeks now, they are sleeping on their own. Which is perfect timing with the new addition coming soon, inshallah and the cot all fixed in our room.

I do miss sleeping with them, the smell, the hugs but for practical reasons, this arrangement is indeed better.

Tonight was a nice surprise because Alisha woke up about half n hour ago and walked into our room and told us she wanted to pee. After helping her, she went straight to her bed and continued sleeping. That has happened twice so far. Which is great for us, which means she is fully toilet trained and that saves us a lot from buying diapers and we could now just concentrate on the lil one. She has been free from 'accidents' during the day for a long time now, but previously, she did let go at night on the bed. But not anymore now, yeah! So I suppose she is on her way to being a big kakak after all;)

When morning comes, at around 7.30 am, she will come to my bed and hug me to sleep for another few hours before she actually wakes up. I'm more than happy to have her in my bed coz alim is off to work and it's just me n her on the bed. For the first few nights when she came over in the morning she asked me if it's ok. I told her when it's morning, its alright for her to
come over but not at night. So far she has diligently followed our rules:)

I'm happy with the progress made so far with the kids and I suppose we are ready.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying every moment I have with the two of them coz like it or not, I'm sure my hands will be full when the littlest one arrives. And again, I'm soo glad I'm in the afternoon session this year because I got to spend all my time with them before I leave for work and they leave for school.

Like today, we had a great start to the day with a fun and hearty breakfast! We had pancakes and they could decorate the pancakes into anything they wanted. I can never do this when I was in the morning session. And with no maid hovering around, the kids (and I) are more involved in preparing their own meals and they enjoy it.

Ok think i better stop now. till later, I'll try to get some sleep now. Nites!

Blessed, rainy night

Such a beautiful, rainy, cooling night. On such a meaningful, blessed night.

May this be a wonderful beginning for all of us:)

Are you ready?

Ready to be a big sister, small girl?