March

We are having an awesome March break! Who cares if there's ton of work to do. When it's time to burn the midnight oil, I will. But for now, it's precious moments with my kids. And it's not over yet. We are looking forward to the weekend too:)
Pictures soon.

Shmelly boy 8 month update

8 months yesterday! Oh my, he's a big boy now. He's super active. Always on the go, crawling, pulling up to stand and cruising. He's putting everything in his
mouth. It's hard for him to keep still and I kept trying to remember if irfan was this way too. I believe so but honestly, I really can't remember.
He loves to smile. It's easy to make him smile. He loves to blabber too now.
He's kind of petite for his age I think. He
looks kind of compact.

In less than 5months, he will turn 1. Oh my!

I love you so much, shmelly boy!!!

Another sign

Come. Bring in the signs.
I'm closer to the edge.
With time, I might just be disgruntled enough to be brave.
It's probably nearer than I thought.

Breakfast for four

Sunday morning breakfast 2 weeks ago. Shahid looking intensively at Alisha, hoping against hope that he can sink his gums in that piece of bread!
But alas he just had to settle for his teether!

Ended with a nice drive. Lovely Sunday mornings it has been:)

Things Alisha says

1) seeing the little girl twirling around, trying to stand on her toes and raising her hands up, I asked her if she wanted to be a ballerina. And she said this
"i don't want. later sexy sexy how?" while giving me a shy smile and one hand near her mouth gesturing a whisper. She was referring to the tutu, not covering much of the body. Huh huh.

2) frustrated that she didn't get her way she said this
"if I don't get to play that, I will not buy for you tudung. If you behave, I will buy you a pink tudung(shawl)!"
She knows I'm crazy about tudung and she attempted to use my weakest point. But of course, I didn't relent. I asked her where she's going to get money to buy a pink tudung for me. She said something about taking it out from some machine.

3) I was busy on my phone, messaging my friend. I was lying on my bed. Irfan and Alisha walked into my room and repeatedly asked me to go to their room. I repeatedly told them to wait.

And then after waiting for quite some time, the 3 year old makcik said this.

"WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT? YOUR FAMILY OR YOUR PHONE?!"

I didn't know how to react? Should I be impressed, shocked or scared?!

But automatically I put down my phone and like a robot walked into their room with them. This time she got her way.

'Which is more important? Your family or your phone?' That's a pretty powerful sentence! Got me moving all right! Now I hear it in my head everytime I'm surfing the net or whatsapping on my phone! And I feel guilty! Argghh!!

Sunday morning with you

I love Sunday mornings. After sending Irfan for madrasah, we will usually go for breakfast. The only downside is Irfan doesn't get to join us:(

Today we went to Arab St for breakfast and a stroll down Haji Lane. We like the quaint shophouses, the colourful walls and the charming trinkets sold along the shops.

And we took pictures. :)

Mini me and you

Today Alisha threw a tantrum while we were about to leave the house and we almost left her at home. However the big brother wouldn't let that happen to his little sister. So he carried her all the way to the carpark. He isn't big or strong but he was quite determined to get her into the car. He had to pause a couple of times and put her down but in the end, he did manage to sit her in the car.

The little girl let herself be carried, weeping like a lost puppy. Haiyo.
In the car, she was still weeping ever so sadly. Irfan told her," Alisha stop crying. Calm down ok. Just breathe in and out a few times. Dah dah don't cry. If you are tired just close your eyes and sleep."

She eventually stopped.

Ok ok so I have to admit, he's a lot like his daddy. And she, well.. Hmmm.. I wonder who she takes after, with the tantrum and weeping all.. tsk tsk..!

Growing up

My kids are growing up so fast. It's scary. We tried on a bag for irfan the other day at manhattan and he looks so adult in it that I decided not to get it for him. I would like to keep him kiddish for a lot longer, if that is possible.
My little girl is also looking more 'kakak kakak' now and she herself claims to be one. I must say for her age, she is rather independent. Partly because she has a younger sibling and an older brother. The younger one gets my attention and the older brother sets an example. She gets ready on her own for school. She gets up, bathes on her own( though I feel the need to supervise her once in a while to ensure she's cleaning herself properly), wipes herself dry, puts powder, puts on her clothes, with buttons and all and packs her bag for school which includes ensuring her water bottle and snack box is in her bag. She puts on her own tudung and shoes and off she goes.
Although I must say, she has her lazy days when her true age surfaces and she just drags her feet everywhere and does nothing.
But on normal days, she's independent and I take her to be older than she is sometimes. I'm reminded that she's only 3 turning 4, when she asks for milk in a bottle or when she insists on sleeping with us in our beds. Sometimes she will purposely speak in a babyish language or wants to be carried. We try to give her what she needs when she needs it, depending on her cue.
I guess being in the middle is not easy.

Here's some pics. Good nite!

Hey you little people, you make me happy!!

Been a tough few days at work. But compared to some tougher days I had, this is nothing. I find solace and peace when I enter my classroom and actually teach. Seeing my cute kids in class always make me happier. I have no idea why. They irritate me sometimes but their innocence, enthusiasm and cheery nature brighten my days. That is the amazing thing about teaching a Primary 1 class.

All of them are adorable in their own ways. You should see how hard they try to please me, how hard they try to do their best and get a word of praise from me. How hard they work to get a sticker and above all, how appreciative they are of a single praise, a simple sticker or stamp or just by my smile.

They are always enthusiastic about any of my lame activities. They raise their hands eagerly to share their ideas. They struggle to find the right words to express their ideas but they always speak up. They are sad when I scold them.

Today one my students said, "I love you Mdm Noraini." I told her I love her back. And it's true.

So my day can be crappy. Adults can spoil my whole morning. Meetings can sap me off my energy but the moment I enter my classroom, my adorable pupils never fail to cheer me up and make me forget for a little while. They are like a breath of fresh air, free spirited and cheerful.

I'm so thankful for little people. I am thankful to be teaching these tiny people who brighten up my days. I am thankful to go home to 3 other little people whose company just make everything so much better.

Crappy days will pass. And today is one crappy day. Hoping tomorrow will be better. And if things don't ever get better, it's a sign that a new course is needed. Sometimes very very crappy days are necessary to give me the courage to steer my ship elsewhere. To chase that dream I am too chicken to even try. So there is always a silver lining to everything. So a crappy day like today is meant to happen for a reason.

We will see how the days will take me from now on. Good or bad, there's always a reason.

For now, I look forward to meet my kids again tomorrow, to share a story, a conversation and a laugh or two.:)

Farmer Dan

Lovely outing with a Farmer named Dan and his cool suspenders!:

Module for this month: Pulling up to stand!

Other than crawling, this is what Shahid has been busy with this month.
He's trying to perfect this skill so badly. There were many hard knocks; falling backwards and hitting the back of his head on the cot rail, falling forward from sitting position, tumbling sideways, all sorts of acrobatic mishaps.
And moments when he gets it right and standing tall, he'll grin his widest grin!:)

The sweetest brother

I hope Alisha and Shahid will come to appreciate how lucky they are to have such a loving and caring brother. He teases Alisha to no end all the time but we know he cares about her like no other.
We love you, Irfan!:)

Lovely company

There's nothing else in the world that can make me happier than spending time with my 3 kids. The past few days were well spent. We went to ArtScience Museum and saw a pretty cool Lego exhibition titled The Art of The Bricks. We marveled over Nathan Sawaya's Lego creations and were inspired by his ideas and determination to complete huge pieces.

We also had time to visit Gardens by the Bay. I wished I knew more about flowers and their names so that I could tell my kids more but I just couldn't.:( but the flowers were a pretty sight and the architecture of the domes and bridges were interesting.

Here's some pictures!

Pictures vomit!

One of the reasons I have not been writing much on the blog and posting pictures is because I couldn't attach pictures from my phone and my Mac is acting up.
I finally manage to download the new blogger app and glad to know I can now post pictures from my phone. I hope this last though.
I felt bad that I wrote very little about Shahid and post even lesser pictures of him. Judging from the alarming rate my brain cells are dying, I am afraid I can't remember much of his infant years.

Shahid is 6 months now. He can crawl and is learning to stand. He is such a smile-ly (no such word i think) baby! It's easy to make him smile. He gets super excited when Alim and I get back from work and starts kicking his legs and opening his arms. He doesn't fancy baby toys and prefer real stuff. He is a thumb sucker! He loves to be carried, loves to eat and doesn't like to be on his own much. He is my sweetheart!:)

His brother and sister dote on him so much. They fight for his attention. They cheered him on when he was trying to learn to roll over and crawl. You wouldn't believe this and neither did I but irfan actually teared when he saw shahid actually turning over for the first time. I saw it with my own eyes! He is such a wooz I know. He tears easily. I looked at his eyes and he quickly wiped them away and laughed it off sheepishly. He will tear when he watches a sad movie too! Haha. I'm so going to toughen him up!

So let's start with the pictures vomit now!!!

Reflection

There are many ways to raise a child. Sometimes I have to make difficult choices for my children. I have to decide what is best for them. Sometimes I am not sure what the outcomes of my decisions will be or if these decisions will go the way I want them to.

There are so many choices out there. Do I want to develop my children in sports, the arts, concentrate on the academics? What approach do I want to expose my children to. We are spoilt for choices. There are so many brand names out there claiming to be the best.

Upon reflection, I realize it is important to have a clear goal of what values and skills I want my children to have. This will make my decisions much easier and more focused.

At the end of the day what values and skills do I deem important for my children?

If my goal is for my children to be good Muslims, what then should I do to reach this goal?

A typical parent in Singapore will send their children to music class, swimming class, enrichment classes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I am swayed by that too. The intention is for our children to develop cognitively and physically. But I'm
beginning to question my decision which I realize do not match the goal I have for my children. Why am I spending so much time honing these skills when I am now realizing that these lessons might not help me reach my ultimate goal I have for my children.

This is what I hope my children will be: I hope they will have beautiful character. And I can't find any other better way to teach them this than to raise them as good Muslims.

This is the basic foundation I hope they will develop. To be good Muslims who have faith in a greater power whom they truly love. No matter what kind of adversity they face, be it competing with 7 million other people in a small island, a rigorous education system or a troublesome mericrotic state, they will face every adversity giving their best knowing that problems are mere challenges in life which is a bridge to something more eternal. I hope they realize hardships are ok and that they draw strength in HIM.

Every parent has their own hope for their children. Every parent is entitled to their own view.

At this point, I am not saying that education is not important. I am not saying that I don't care if my children fail their exams as long as they have good character. Not at all. But I believe with a good Islamic foundation, they will be equipped with sound values. They will never want to fail. They will want to succeed. And even if they fail , they will put in greater effort, put their trust in HIM and strive harder.

This basic islamic foundation prepares them for any system, no matter how crappy our system is.

Eversince the white paper came out, there are many questions on what kind of life our children will have here in sunny island Singapore in the future?

The question is, what kind of life do we want our children to have, with or without the white paper? It will be naive to say we want our children to have an easy life when easy is relative and subjective.

What is easy anyway? Does it mean being able to enjoy cheap housing, own an affordable car, have a less stressful education system, having time to pursue their interests not determined by the govt, having time to relax at the beach, spending limitless time with family, being able to not work and raise their children without having to worry about money?

Will that be an easier life? Will that guarantee our children will be happy?
Will migrating be a better option?

Are we to say that immigrants who came to singapore many years ago had a better life than the people who stayed behind in their own countries? If the definition of better is in terms of the money they make, then yes. If the definition of better is the type of housing they stay in, then yes. The problem is, our worldview of an easy and better life is hinged on material terms or on a typical image of a person sipping tea at a cafe, suntanning on a beach, someone who is free to do what they want or someone who doesn't have to work and not worry about money.

ultimately, if a person is contented with what they have, they will be happy nonetheless.

I don't know. I don't have any of the answers.

My guess is it's a matter of perspective.

My hope is my children will be equipped with the right values to be happy in whatever system they are in. To see the world as a bridge and nothing more. To see difficulties as temporary and opportunities to strengthen our faith in HIM.

At this moment, I might sound like some religious ya ya papaya. Haha. But as I grow older, I'm beginning to see more examples of how people with strong faith, who are able to manage any kind of adversity with serenity and calmness. I also see these same people going through their lives with so many blessings even though they might not be the most well to do.
And yet, I also see those that struggle and complain when money becomes an issue. So what sets these two apart?

I think it's the values, worldview, faith and basic foundation.

It's the examples I see right before my eyes.

So will I stay in another land? Definite yes if this island does not allow me to pursue my goal for my children. If my children cannot be raised as Muslims, if there are no opportunities to pursue Islamic knowledge. If that were the case, I will be the first to go.

It's hard to explain here in my blog everything that I want to say. Especially since I'm getting rusty from
not writing for a long time.

This entry is more of a reminder to myself.

My views might change. It may not. This is what I think now. It will be interesting to see how I feel years down the road. That's what I like most about writing in a blog.:)

Goodnite!

Excuse me, are you a (role) model?

The most difficult part of parenting for me is being a good role model to my kids. I can't do anything about the fact that my behavior is constantly being watched and internalized by these little beings. The only way to go is to be exemplary at all times. This requires some drastic character change for me because I have to say, there's many bad habits of mine that are far from exemplary; the only example it is good for is a negative one.

And then there's a wide array of things I accidentally expose my kids to which is partly my interest and mostly my indulgence.

For example, I've just discovered recently that my 3 year old daughter can recognize a Gucci bag from a mile. She says this to me, "ibu, look that lady is wearing a Gucci bag. It's pretty."

She can't read yet but these are some of the many words she can recognize: GAP, uniqlo, IKEA, Bobbi brown, Zara and of course, more suitable for her age will be McDonald's, toys r us etc.

Her favorite songs are We are Young by Fun, Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine, No one is going to love you by Band of Horses, Don't leave me by Regina Spectre, Everything at Once by Lenka. Go google and have a listen.

Honestly, it's not something I'm proud of. It just goes to show how much shopping we do and the kind of music we listen to. Yes, theres is probably nothing wrong with that. But sometimes i wonder, for a little mind who can absorb a million and one things, are these the things I want to feed her young mind with? If we had done something more meaningful often enough, she would probably have memorized those rather than these brand names.

Parenting for me is a lesson. A lesson or a reflection on my behavior. My kids have taught me far more than i think possible. They always make me realize my flaws, my bad habits, things about myself that I can work on. They are the best mirror I can ever find on the entire planet.

Just recently, when Alisha started crying and whining in the car, I lost my temper, raised my voice and pinched her after I told her repeatedly to stop but she refused to listen. My voice was loud, my tone was rude. Irfan was also in the car. He was silent coz he knew better than to cause more trouble. Moments later, Alisha bugged irfan about something. Guess what? Irfan lost his temper, pinched her and raised his voice rudely. My first instinct was to scold irfan and to tell him to speak nicely to his sister and even if she was wrong, he had no business shouting at her rudely. But I paused and realized, I'm the pot calling the kettle black.

I could have stayed calm, be firm and explain to her how to behave. I could pinch her but probably not do it out of anger like I did.

In my quest to be a better person, my kids have been the biggest help and motivation. They don't know it of course but for me, there's no motivation more powerful than knowing that I am a role model to my kids. I have no other choice but to buck up.

I have to do it real fast too coz when it comes to raising children, I often think that there's a window period for disciplining before the window closes at a certain age and they are unreachable. When that age comes, we just have to let go a little more and have faith that all the groundwork done when they were younger would be more than enough to guide their decisions.

I'm always my worst critic. If you don't already know, I tend to over think things sometimes. I should just lighten up shouldn't I? Coz after all it's quite adorable for little kids to know these brand names and pretty common too? So i should probably just laugh it off, u think? Why must i be so drama and over analyze everything right?

Haiz I don't know why either! Why must reflect on everything one? Hmm that's just the way my mind works I guess.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I'm soo happy that the holidays are here! We are not taking the plane to anywhere this time coz shahid is still a little too young. I suppose that is ok coz there's quite a number of new places in Singapore we have not been to so we will probably check them out. I'm just super glad to be spending my time with the kids.

And irfan deserves to have all this time to do whatever he wants after all the hard work he has put in throughout the year, which totally paid off coz he got band 1s for all his subjects! To be honest, we did not work for band 1s. In fact when he got his grades, he had no clue if it was good or not. He even asked me if there is band 0. Haha!!

He only knew it was good when other people started saying he had done a gd job.

He is just in p1 so I was not really interested in getting him to be so obsessed with grades. I just wanted him to learn to be more focused, to take all his tasks seriously, to persevere when things get difficult. Basically I was more interested in setting the groundwork for good study habits.

I'm happy coz at the end of the day, I can tell him "see, your 1 hour of practice every day paid off!" to me the band 1s is a message to him that everything requires effort, that it's important not to give up when things get difficult. Instead of me just nagging, he now sees for himself and hopefully will listen to me more next time!!

Ok this is getting lengthy and I'm getting sleepy now. Till another reflection, good night!:)

I am thankful for you- 8 years on

It was our anniversary yesterday. 8 years. I wanted to say we had gone through many ups and downs together but on second thoughts, we have not really faced any downs, given the relatively challenging, life-changing moments many others have bravely gone through. The downs we have had were nothing in comparison. But if and when such a down passes us by, we hope we stand together, solid and strong.

I am thankful for many things. I have written many times how I'm thankful most of all for having a soul such as him, love me despite my shortcomings. That love comes from a higher being and my prayer is that feeling will last till ever. I did nothing to plant that feeling but it's there, a very important fuel for this journey of 8 years. For without it, nothing would taste this sweet and wonderful. Even the tough moments didn't seem as painful and if they were, that feeling made them all worthwhile.

So what did we do on our anniversary? Well the thought of having candlelight dinner somewhere with awesome view without the kids did cross our minds. Doing something special but not knowing what to do was the sketchy plan. But I supposed we didn't want that badly enough to do something about it.

Instead we spent the day with our kids, doing things we've always done, walked the streets we've always walked and ate at our favorite place. Maybe we have turned out into a boring couple we swore we'll never be but at the end of the day, we had a good time like we always do. We can't really imagine how sitting at a candlelight dinner could make us any happier or the 8 years more special. Yes that's probably how boring we have turned out to be. The notion of celebrating anniversaries like how anniversaries should be celebrated, does not seem all so enticing. All i felt like doing was to go out with the kids and eat at our favorite place.hmm.. I wonder why.

Anyway, so here we are, 8 years...8 years of wonderful memories, of unwavering support and a hand to hold. We are learning to raise a family, to work towards that eternal destination, none of which is an easy feat. So I can never be thankful enough for a team mate who complements.

Insyaallah, many years to come, may our journey be long and blessed. To you, I appreciate you.
I am always thankful for you.

Please stop!

Stop shouting at my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do I say this nicely?

And he's learning to shout too, at 2 months!!! Come on, he's not deaf. He will be if this goes on!

Wake me up when Spetember ends

As always, September is a  month of celebration. So all that depressing entries are just mere memories of a thing of the past. PooF! Out of the window they go! Im relieved and i guess so are you.:)

My dear firstborn turned 7 on the 20th. I lost track of how many times a birthday song was sung to him this year and how many times he had blown the candles out for his birthday. So i tell him, he's indeed lucky to be surrounded by so many people who love him.



The first cake. An early birthday surprise at my sis's place together with his much loved uncles, aunties and cousins.


I remember when i was young, there was a particular year when my brother prepared a treausre hunt for me to find my own present. He hid clues at different places in my house and I remember feeling so ecstatic about finding my present. he even hid one clue in a pipe and I had to turn on the tap and the clue popped out all soggy and wet. In the end my present was a transformer. I dont remember if i enjoyed playing with transformers when I was young or he had bought it mre for himself .
Anyway, so i decided to recreate that moment for my dear son. He woke up early that day and I gave him his first clue.He was just as excited as I was!! Alisha helped of coz and in the end he found his pressie. We told him that this lil pressie was from Alisha.

He immediately fixed his pressie and it was ready in no time! Happy birthday boy!!

 

We had dinner at fish and co paragon and the staff sang Irfan a birthday song. We gave him his present. A pair of Heelys. Our wish: He'll never grow too cool for a goofy hat like that!

Because it's his birthday, we let them have a good time at Paragon's playground even though it was a schoolday tomorrow.

Wide awake at 9pm, all excited to go to the playground on a weekday.

The next day, we had dinner with Alim's parents at Swensen's and he got to blow his cake again and we sang for him for the 100th time. 

and over the weekend we managed to catch Cat in the Hat play, one of our favourite night reads. I was super excited. We enjoyed the show very much and already bought tickets fo the next upcoming play, Fantastic Mr Fox by Roald Dahl. Coincidentally, that's irfan read for now so he is super excited too.

We had a lot of fun this Sepetember, like we always do. Now September has ended, and that means a month closer to my dreaded end of maternity leave:(

I'm going to miss hanging out with the kids at home. Till later, bye for now!