Atop an abandoned building
(Beware: confusion might arise..mood is volatile)
I think im made up of a million pieces...and all of them don't fit...the confusion i stirred up within myself brings no solace to anyone...where is that ray of hope that indicates the direction i could take in this time of my life. i cant read signs anymore. or maybe my interpretation of the signs itself changes every day.
sometimes i dream of lying atop an abandoned roof of a rundown building, watching the night sky and the bright lights flickering from HDB flats in the heartlands.
a fag in the hand of my companion while his other hand, holding mine.
the skin im wearing as im sitting at the office confuses the inert emotions in me, the one that desires darkness and all things that do not conform. many a time, i see a vision of me pointing a gun in the room whilst they discuss performance and issues after issues. yes, we are merely performing...like a bunch of monkeys. entertaining the very pple sitting in the room who has the power to judge you and reward u accordingly. as they speak,i hear nuthing but see mouths moving and in my head, my gun points in between their heads and 1,2,3, it goes off..one by one around the oval table...i am now one of them and there's no escaping... the gun points to my head.
ask me not, where these visions stem from...coz i see no direction. why do i keep seeing trails of bright lights leading to a dark tunnel of tranquility. its contradictory and i am both.
ok..hold my hand and guide me through. truth is, what i want is not what i should have... throw away the key and let me forget who i really am...coz there's no place for me here...me is not the monkey they want to see..
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