Picture,pls!

Oh how time flies...im in my 20th week already..5 mths!
Alhamdullilah the first trimester has ended with the baby still doing well albeit the hiccups and scares in between. Much to be thankful for and praying hard the 2nd and 3rd trimester will be fine too.
This time round, my stomach is rather small although I have gained quite a considerable amount of weight. I cant really remember how it was with irfan 3 years ago but i think i became really big only during my last trimester.
Had my fifth month detailed scan yesterday. Brought the lil one and he sat through the whole scan asking this and that. The sonographer was too serious and could not be bothered to layan him, so alim had to attend to his queries. And when the scan ended, the lil boy asked me, "Got baby picture or not?" The sonographer overheard this of course coz irfan always sounds like a loudhailer and i guess the sonographer tak sampai hati (either that or cannot wait to get rid of him!) and handed him two pictures, much to his delight!


"My ****** and me;)"

Not sure if he knows which part is which from the scan coz he always points out the wrong parts to me when asked. But he always asks my gynae for one everytime she scans me, just to add to his collection.

As for the gender, although the sonographer was pretty confident with what she saw (or didnt see:)and confidently told us the gender of the baby, i think i shall wait for my next appointment when the baby is bigger to take what she said seriously.
of coz, a girl would be great since naturally if you already have a boy, you would want a girl...but irfan is kinda hoping for a brother ...poor him, been telling everyone it's a boy.
for me, with the lost early this year and my crazy paranoia, honestly i will just be over the moon if everything goes well...

Just happy to know that the baby is doing ok so far and i m really hoping the rest of the 4 months will be just as good. :)

Tough love

Disciplining a child at any age is not an easy task, be it a toddler or a teenager. I come to realize that it is always about striking a good balance between putting the message across and dealing with the feelings at the same time.

Striking a good balance is not easy. While teenagers pose a different kind of challenge, my immeditate task now is handling this 3 year old boy now and showing him the right way to behave. On one hand, while I know positive modelling is essential in developing positive behaviour, I must admit I am not consistently a perfect model myself. Well, theory is one thing and actual pracice is a different ball game altogether. For example sometimes I catch myself yelling, although it's something I tell irfan not to do.

Teaching irfan the right way to behave can be a challenge at times. His typical response to us scolding him, would be to cover his face, break into sobs which gets louder by the minute and in between the desperate cries and unstoppable sobs, he will say these words,
" I love (sob, sob) you ibu." I friend (sob, sob) you ibu"..

By now his voice would have cracked and his words are broken and almost inaudible. His whole face would be red and tears will be running down his his red cheeks and equally red nose and lips. And softly he would say,
"I sor...ry (sob sob) ibu..."

Sometimes I wonder why he always says these words when scolded and I wonder, within his limited capacity, what does he actually understand by love and if we have made him feel insecure about how much we love him. Or could it be as a 3 year old , they are alreasy able to plan a scheming manner to act pathetic so that we can just gloss over their wrongdoings. Or maybe it's just me, paranoid over watching Anakku Sazali!" :)

At times, I just feel like hugging him and saying it's ok, I mean it's quite heartbreaking to hear his words in between sobs like that, but so far, we had always managed to stand firm and used the window before he break into sobs to explain to him what was wrong. I never knew it can be so hard to scold your child sumtimes until I become a parent myself. But I know giving in can be detrimental to the child in the long run and having a spoilt teenager might be a more uphill task than dealing with a toddler.

Most of the time, I realize they dont mean to behave badly, but they are not sure of the right way to get whatever they want, so while I say no you cant do that, I also have to teach him how to get what he wants the right way.
And one thing i have to constantly remind myself is that they are too little to learn immediately and will repeat the mistakes again n again, much to our frustration sumtimes.

Our typical response to his sobs and cries would be to ask him to stop crying and be quiet. Many times he doesnt and I will fume and would say, " You better stop now, or I will...." . At the back of my mind I know I have read somewhere that giving an ultimatum like that is not a good idea, but like I said, theory can go out of the window sumtimes.

Well, I suppose this is a struggle of a novice parent who reads too much! Hah!

And recently his reply to us asking him to stop crying is this , " I can't ibu (sob, sob), help ibu (sob sob), cover my mouth for me (sob, sob)."
Honestly, the first time I heard him ask me to cover his mouth i really feel like laughing out loud!Hehe.
BUt I did cover his mouth, and amidst the quiet, i could hear him trying his best to stifle his cries. Poor boy :(

Then it struck me! I was asking him to do the impossible all this time! When someone is sobbing badly and crying so much, one cant just stop automaticaly and immediately. What more a 3 year old who has limited control of how he feels. All this while, he really cant stop his sobs, and he couldnt tell me probbaly due to lack of words and his inability to express himself. and now that he can, his words are simple, honest and yet so true. he simply cant stop! i mean at least not immediately. But the point is, he did want to listen to me and stop but he doesnt know how, and to his simple mind, the solution is for me to cover his mouth!!

i made a mental note to remember that he is indeed only 3 and sometimes i do ask the impossible from him. Luckily he is able to talk now and expresses certain things, as simple and honest as he could.

Recently, irfan has been rather clingy to us and always wanting the attention from us, especially the daddy. Its probably coz, he has been spending a lot of time with us since he is also having his hols and i also suspect it probbaly has something to do with the other one coming soon.

Wanting attention is fine i guess, but we are still teaching him the better way of getting our attention as compared to whining and asking us to help in every other thing.

So till later, my on-the-job training of being a parent shall continue....

Tomorrow is Irfan's end of the year concert and he is performing. Im so excited, heh although I have no idea what exactly his item is about. He has been practicing enthusiastically at home, and as he twirled and clapped and hopped, i hear something about Hot Potato, Hot Potato amidst his singing and gigling. So i suppose his item is a dance about some hot potato. That's all i know.

Im sure tomorrow will be a chaotic affair as all students from all the different branches come together at DBS Auditoriam to perform. It's actually the end of the year concert cum graduation but all kids from preschool to K2 will be performing. So I can already imagine all the mayhem. I always wonder how the teachers manage to even teach the steps and rehearse with them coz I really doubt they can even stay in a line.

Irfan has been having on and off fever since Monday and has not been in school. I hope he will be 100% ok tomorrow to perform. And i do hope he remembers his steps coz he has not been practising for a week. His teacher said he is always over zeolous during rehearsals and I think I know very well what she means.

He was also supposed to wear some makeup tomorrow, powder, some lipstick, blusher ....so I told him that yesterday and he said he can't coz he is a boy and make up are for girls. Im not quite sure how to explain to him that this is an exception for a performance.

Well till tomorrow:) Think Im just as excited as he is!

We, the last minute people still have not decided where to go for the dec hols. Pretty usual, very typical, very common. With my unpredictable condition,it even adds on to our dilemma. Im not sure if i can withstand any flight more than 10 hours and if I can take all the sightseeing, milk making and luggage carrying involved in a holiday at a country of a very different time zone with a 3 yr old boy.

We have narrowed down and further narrowed down but as usual, reached no conclusions yet. I am more inclined to resting in my bed the whole dec coz really, my body feels like it. But it would be such a waste and not healthy too, i think. This would probably be our last holiday as a threesome and being able to repeat our June 07 feat would be great but my body is so not up to it.

So let's contemplate and further contemplate sumore, till the date draws near and then we make a sudden decision to go somewere, not even in our plan initially. That won't be a surprise.

On another note, got some gd news yesterday and hoping it remains that way. Some good news tug on your hearts so much that you want to celebrate it but not sure when is a ripe time to do it. So we shall let it be till more good news come and we cant contain ourselves anymore, and then it will be time.

Im not at werk today-again coz my body just refuse to cooperate with me. I dunt remember ever feeling like this with irfan. I dunt really know how to explain how I am feeling, just weak weak weak and to make it worse, im down with flu which I got from irfan. So work is taking a backseat right now, although that is really an impossible thing to do so Im basically doing what I can from home.

Ok im done.

Reminisce

Found this in one my folders, taken 2 years ago. I almost forgot the time when he walked all wobbly..so innocent, so harmless...
Sekarang..haiz..dah macam monster kluar kandang.

Think he was 11 mths or so...



:)

The boy's preoccupation with my tummy

In the past, when Irfan was still in my tummy, his daddy used to talk to him as much as he could.
Now, ever since I first told Irfan about the baby, he has been the one who talks constantly to the real tiny life inside. My tummy hasnt shown much yet but that doesnt seem to stop Irfan from checking on the lil one every now and then. He talks to the lil one every night, without me telling him to, sometimes just a loud "hello baby" and quick peck before running off to god knows where.
At times, he will rest his toy on my tummy and tells the lil one how special his toy is and what it is capable of doing. But amidst his entusiasm, he has many times, sat on my tummy, accidentally kicked it and plonked his toy too hard on it. And I have to constantly remind him to be gentle.
A few nights ago, he pasted a pokemon sticker on my tummy and said that one is for the baby. ANother time, he insisted that I eat his pretend playdoh food and when I refused he said the baby will be hungry if I dunt.

I think he badly wants a sibling:)

The previous trip to the gynae, she gave Irfan the scan pics. he took it, looked at it and then asked the doc, "Is baby ok?". It sounded weird coming from him cos there's an air of concern there which I never expected a boy of 3 to have.
The doc told him baby is fine and he gave her a nod and a big smile. Such a copy cat he is, I think he heard me asked the same question the last time I met the gynae and I think I smiled too when she said the baby was ok.

Sometimes, when Im in the toilet, he has this habit of just opening the door and checking what Im doing. I have to admit, because of what happened previously, now, each time I feel some pain, I would immediately check for any bleeding, spotting or strange discharge. And sometimes Irfan will walk into the toilet, sneak a peak, looked a lil alarm and ask me, "Got blood or not? Is baby ok?"
I never really explained to him what happened previously but he did know that I was very sad over what happened. He had also seen some bleeding the other time and saw my alarm and reaction to it. he did ask me what happened and I remembered telling him that I was sick. I didnt say anything about a baby.
But I guess he knows the sight of blood is a sign of something bad happening to the baby. And somehow, he has picked up on my worry and fear n constantly asks me if the baby is ok.

So nowadays, everything is really about the baby to him. He sees me eating something that looks red and spicy and asked me what if baby pedas. He lies down on my tummy to watch T.V and hears my stomach gurgling and says" Eee..baby kuntut(that's how he says kentot)!" I eat an ice-cream and he asks me if baby will get a cough from it...and the list goes on.

So now, more for the sake of Irfan, I hope all goes well. I really do.

I guess when you are expecting, people around you are always showing concern and be nice to you..But I least expect it from this 3 yr old boy. It's nice to have your lil boy show so much concern over you, in his own childish way. For as long as I am still the apple of his eye, I will relish the moment for as long as I could coz Im quite certain that one day,years from now, his mommy will take a back seat in his life.

Been a while since I updated this space.
Actually there were many things worth penning down here coz it has been a rather eventful few months. Happy moments, heartbreaking ones and then there were the dull 2 weeks of nothing but bed and ophrah. Luckily the lil one is around to bring some life into my very lazy 2 weeks.

So anyway, highlights include the lil one's birthday, my birthday, hari raya, some wonderful news and then, the 3rd farewell for the year. Significant events that celebrates life, dealing with death and stuff in between; all rolled in 2 months. Yes, been pretty busy.

Some pics of happy moments cause they are so easily forgotten. Sad moments are etched deep inside and there's really no need for pictures coz I can see them clearly even when there's nothing concrete to hold on to.

This is a real belated entry on Irfan's brthday last month.
The lil one loves birthdays so much, so although Im kinda lazy to invite so many people over, as it was the fasting month anyway, nonetheless we decided to go crazy with this one, but still keeping it a small and cosy affair.
He was excited as he always is, not much of his reaction to birthdays has changed since his first birthday, making me wonder if he will ever get sick of blowing candles and singing birthday songs.




Waiting for everyone to gather and sing his bday song.

Thomas here, Thomas there, Thomas everywhere. From Thomas cake, tablecloth, balloons, cups, goodie bags, Thomas party hats and EVEN self printed Thomas T shirts for everyone! Even my dad and mum wore the T-shirts , can u believe it? I can't believe it ...hmm wonder whose idea it was?!





See the T-shirts? Hehe funny rite?
And like every year of his birthday, Irfan is having a big smile plastered across his face. That is perhaps the biggest motivation to do crazy things like buy plain T-shirts, print design and iron them on for about 10 people! Otherwise who would have bothered! Oh Im sorry, someone WOULD have bothered, look at another over zealous person in the pics, with the big smile plastered across her face too. Banyak nah idea dia..deprived childhood tak?



Till next year:) Keep the smile plastered and the enthusiasm going for as long as you can, lil one!

I don't ever remember specifically teaching irfan any of these things...so i really wonder where he gets these ideas from...he surprises me with his ideas...maybe it's from school or tv,...im not quite sure.

Incident 1

yesterday we saw a heavily pregnant lady and i was just curious what was going on in irfan's tiny lil head. so I asked him,

ME: What's in her tummy?
IRFAN: Baby
ME: How is the baby going to come out?

I had expected him to say something along the lines of cutting open the tummy and extracting the baby...but he surprised me with this answer:

IRFAN: Come out from a big hole

ME: Hole?which hole?where is the hole?

IRFAN: Hole where the ibu kencing. Can ibu? can come out from there or not?

not quite sure what to say, i just nodded and said, "yah...something like that...hey look what's that? " and quickly changed the subject before he starts firing me with more questions, like he always does.

Incident 2:

We were watching Animal Funniest Videos on tv and they were showing some pigs doing something funny..and Irfan out of the blue , dengan bersungguh-sungguh said,

Irfan: Ayah, we cannot touch pig, you know!"

Alim: Why not? Is it dirty?

Irfan: Cause...later Allah ANGRY!

I looked at alim and asked " did you teach him that? Coz I sure didnt" alim said no. MAybe he learnt it in school ...but we often tell him that we have to pray coz later allah angry, but not about touching pigs....

Then alim asked: How about dogs? Can we touch dogs?

Irfan: ( starts thinking. i can almost see his lil brain ticking) Dog, CAAAANN.

Alim: Why?

Irfan: Coz dog good boy...dog can play with irfan..dog can help irfan..I like dogs, ayah. Can buy?

We left it as that and didnt bother to correct him, coz i honestly dunno how to explain to a 3 year old why we can't touch dogs. If I were to say later allah angry, he will definitely ask me why...and I wouldnt know what to say.

Actually, it's no surprise that he views dogs as friendly creatures coz almost all children's books portray dogs as childrens' best friends. He has books which show dogs playing with lil boys and girls, fetching toys and licking their faces in delight. So i guess, that's where he got the idea that dogs are fun to have.

As he gets older, I also noticed he's becoming more sympathetic to others and has shed some of his egocentrism. He tries to cheer people up when they are down and again, I dunno where he learns them from. I dunt remember doing this to him or to anyone around the house so i doubt its from modelling.

Incident 3

Irfan: Ibu, why your face like that? ( pulls his lips down to show me a sad face- which, by the way was really funny!)
I didnt even notice he was looking at me and i didnt even realize that my face was showing how i was feeling. I was unhappy with something but didnt know my face was showing.

In no mood to reply, I just kept quite. He came close to me and looked straight into my eyes and asked again" Why ibu? Are you ok?" N nod nod his head. By this time, I wanted to laugh but played along, and showed an even sadder face. After all, it's not always that I get this much attention from anyone. Heheh.
After a few moments of looking symapthetically into my eyes,
he said, " Smile ibu, Big smile like this." and he gave me the biggest smile ever.

The first time he ever did that to me, my heart melted till it flooded my house!! I guess its true kids are really very sensitive to our moods and they can tell if you are unhappy or not. It's really nice to have someone try to cheer you up like that.

On another occasion, well, ok, I do get my bad moods a lot at times, so he asked " Ibu, why your face like that? (and again, pulls his lips down to show a sad face). " Who disturb you, ibu?" Just for the fun of it, I pulled an even longer face and said, "Ayah! Ayah disturb me." Hehe.

He stood up, marched over to alim, who was in the toilet, happily minding his own business. Irfan came up to him, started cekak pinggang and with an almost defeaning voice said , "AYAH! Why you disturb ibu? Say sorry now!"

Of course, alim ignored him, knowing that it must be one of my silly ideas.
I couldnt help but laugh and that must have confused irfan a bit. Anyway, isnt it nice to have someone blindly stand up for you like that!!:)

I guess 3 year olds are smarter than we think. We dunt have to teach them for them to learn, they just pick everything and make their own conclusions. They probably have formed these ideas in their heads a long time ago, but only now, they are able to verbalise them. The questions are coming fast and getting more difficult for me to answer. Most times, I dunno how to simplify the answers to a level of a 3 year old. Once, just for experimental sake, I answered him using proper sentence, proper terms, like how I would explain to an adult. I am very sure he doesnt know what I am saying, and almost half of the words he has never heard before. After the 'cheem' explanantion, he kept quiet, looked at me and finally said, "Ohhh" and barely a second later, asked" Why ibu? Why like that, ibu?" Why?" Not knowing what to say, I revert to my "Hey look, what's that?" strategy and changed the subject. Luckily, he's easily distracted.

I find it really fun finding out what he is thinking and expeimenting with his thought processes. Of course, sometimes, he will give me silly answers which I never quite figure out. And at times, he is just so impossible, that I feel like tying him up to a tree. But most times, he is always there to brighten up my days. :)

Been a good, fruitful week...
got many things done!
brought irfan to watch thomas today. of course, he was super excited, despite it being his nap time.
before we left, i vaguely remember him putting something in my bag and saying something about wanting to give thomas a present.
in the middle of the show, thomas appeared and the lil fella was super excited, reached for my bag and asked for the present. for a while, i didnt know what he was asking. he dug my bag and took out this.



to me, it was just a piece of paper and i thought he took my mess of receipts in my bag, by mistake. but he held on tightly to it and asked, "When can i see thomas and give present?"
"later, and are you sure that is the present for thomas."
"sure," he replied.

of course, the show ended without us having a chance to see thomas up close, much less give thomas any presents. once the curtain closed, the lights came on and that was it.
he was dissapointed at first but as usual, we managed to distract him with something else.
soon he forgot all about it. kesian tak kesampaian nak kasi present.

later, in the car, he fell asleep and the paper fell and i was telling alim, it's funny how a folded paper like this can be a present for thomas. alim told me to open it and look inside.



haizz...kesian. he had actually wrapped the dolphin he made earlier, thinking that he would give it to thomas later.
i can imagine his lil hands putting the dolphin carefully inside and folding the paper one side at a time, hoping thomas would like it.

and there i was thinkin that it was some piece of trash in my bag. shame on me!

earlier in the day, he had shoved me a blank piece of paper and asked to make a dolphin. i was doing something else so alim attended to him and i guess he helped draw the dolphin and cut it. i was too busy to notice him wrapping the dolphin and wasnt paying attention when he was explaining to me about the present. Actually many times, I have caught myself doing a million and other things when he is talking to me. But then again, he doesnt seem to mind coz he always goes on and on all the same.

Too bad thomas didnt get the carefully wrapped dolphin. Think I'll keep it in my bag for a while. And maybe lie to him that I have passed the present to thomas and that thomas loves it very much?!

That's what mothers do right? Do a white lie once in a while...

Saw two funerals this year. For a long time, I've always said that I have 4 sets of grandparents..I have MANY grandparents, I used to say.
But this year, the number has significantly reduced. Like I said i saw 2 funerals this year and this year has not even ended yet. 2 funerals are too many.
I think I wrote an entry here somewhwre about how each of my grandparent is going through old age. Well, two of them have succumbed to their illness and passed.
To me, it was quick. It was so sudden. But in actual fact, so many years have gone by since their illness was first discovered. It's true, we are so caught up in living, that the years seemed like minutes till the minutes actually end.
It's funny how it seemed like it just took a minute for the person to disappear from the face of the earth. But the loss is forever.

I cannot ever imagine the devastation of losing someone I hold so dearly. I went to the grave and saw rows and rows of names. I'm sure each of their passing, has broken someone's heart.

It made me wonder. How many hearts were broken, when the sand covered her that gloomy, rainy evening when we bid her goodbye?

And how many realized and understood the last lesson she taught us when she passed? How many actually learnt from it and seize the opportunity to have a second shot at being better?

May her soul rest in peace. May she always be loved and remembered. For me, I will always remember her as a funny grandma, always with a kiddish laugh, red lipstick and overpowdered face. :)

You will be missed.

I found this post in my drafts. I have written it some time back when the govt came up with incentives and started the 4 mths maternity leave thingy and there was a lot of news coverage and buzz on it. Never got to posting it till now...

"Ok OK Im really getting dizzy from all this BABY talk...
Yesy, yes so we all know that money really doesnt make one totally motivated to have more kids. We really don't have to interview a dozen people and feature them in every newspaper to know that, do we?

So just to add one more thought to the already millions of thoughts out there on the baby issue, here's my two cents.

The way i see it, the clever people in white is not tackling the root cause of the problem. I think to many, what they are dishing out, is not what we need. Basically they are giving monetary incentives and more time with the baby ( ok I can really argue on whether the 4 mths maternity leave really solve the time issue but i think many people have talked about that so I think we get the picture that it really would not motivate everyone out there)

To me, the problem is that the people in white have been asking the wrong question. They are looking at the problem and thinking, "What are the factors that STOP couples from having more kids?" So they figured that it is money and time and so they start dishing these incentives out.

Firstly, the question is not beneficial and secondly the answers are not accurate. Couples with high incomes can easily afford more than 1 kid but these are the majority of couples who prefer to have less.
Many put off having kids because they want to concentrate on their careers first and do you think asking them to stop work for 4 months to take care of their baby will attract these ambitious women to start a family, and a big one too? In fact, it might just deter them even further.

So i think the more fundamental question is, "What motivate couples to have more kids?"

In the past, people had to go through worst living conditions, meagre income, and yet they still have the very least, 7 kids. Yes, you can argue that because the women were not educated back then and could stay home to take care of the kids. But is that what motivates them to have more?

I might be wrong here because i really dunt have figures, research to support my thoughts here, but i suspect, back then, to our parents, great grandparents, kids are an investment whom they can count on when they grow old to take care of them. That motivates them. SO , motivation is extremely crucial in wanting to have more kids.

For some , it's religion, others, the love for kids, the love for clutter, noise and coziness of a big family.

Today, the first point is not valid, because we are all so busy planning for our retirement, so much so that we don't have to depend on our kids when we are old.

And because having kids is a personal decision, motivation cannot come in monetary forms, it has to be a change in midset, an assurance that having more kids is the the best for your future, your family and not because your nation asks you to.

EVeryone wants the best for their family. And if the govt wants us to have more kids, they must show, prove how having more kids can be the best for our family in today's demanding time.

Yes, that is not an easy task, but it has to be done, coz, we the good citizens of tis sunny island, has been taught well that we have to the best in everything. And we all want to have the best for our family, that is the aspiration of all hardworking singaporeans out there.

OK so complain complain complain, what's the solution then?

All these just made me think they could probably encourage more couples to have more kids if they could prove by research that children with more siblings have an edge.

Now, we all want our kids to have an edge dunt we? We never want our kids to lose out on anythng. The best, remember?

So go dig up some research to prove kids with more than say, 2 siblings grow up with better social skills, pick up reading, writing and talking skills faster, more independent, creative , wholesome etc etc. And best of all, they learn to take care of each other, so much so that you can go to work with a peace of mind.

Then go on to say, how it might not be healthy for kids to have only one other sibling or alone. Show that it might be detrimental to their development. Of course research support would be crucial here coz we arent easily fooled by propaganda and brainwashing.

Judging from how parents would always do the best for their kids, these would just encourage those with one child to have at least 3.

Coupled with the incentivess given, this might just do the trick. Of course, this research needs to be true and then publicised well.

Not sure if it would encourage a lot more to decide to have more, but that's just a thought."

Yesterday, marks the end of the many many months of training for the rugby boys and the husband who is in-charge of them. The excitement of participating in sports and Nationals is always undeniably exciting and heart stomping. Amidst all odds, the boys actually made it to the top 4..I mean for a neighbourhood school who don't have a ton of boys to choose from and affiliated primary schools to scout the best players from...top 4 was really awesome. As we all know rugby is a game always dominated by elite boys schools so it's pretty amazing that for the first time in many many years, an underdog of a neighbourhood school managed to grab a medal.:)So congratulations to BTS for proving that hard work pays.

Yesterday was the finals. My sis and I went, coz we were rooting for Haris. He played really well...well,I'm not an expert so I wouldnt know but alim said he did good. They lost. We kinda expected that but he took it well.

I come to realize, exposing your child to sports really builds up their confidence and character. For many many months, a lot of Haris's time was spent on hours of training and he never complained. His time and energy was channeled into something important and so he had no time to idle. I think for a teenager, idle time is extremely dangerous. I also see some changes in him and Im happy and proud to see how he has grown. I think the school he is in plays an important role in shaping him as a person.

To a certain extent, it is true that the kind of school you put your child in, really shapes their character. Of course, there are exceptions to this, some kids are just not moulded by the culture of the school. But majority do, especially students from elite schools as I observed during the rugby finals. Because the school culture is a certain way, generally the students from that school behave in a certain way and I suspect all the way to their adulthood. There is something similar and distinct about their character which makes them true to their school. The boys from the two schools really behaved differently from each other. For example in the way they speak, behave and carry themselves. And interesting enough, their parents who came to support also differ between the two schools. I wouldn't want to generalise but the boys from a particular school has an air about them which some may see as confidence, while others might just label them as extremely cocky.

All this made me wonder what kind of school should I put Irfan in? Of course, he's too young for me to be sure about his inclinations. I wonder, what his strengths would be and as a parent, how do I ensure his stregths are discovered and optimised.
Some say, the kind of things we expose a child in, is extremly important in shaping his charecter. The kind of school he is in will determine the kind of things he will be exposed to. But to me, as a parent, we can only limit our childs' exposure to a certain extent. We can't control all of his movements, so ore importantly we have to equip him with the right decision making skills so that no matter what kind of undesirable situations he is exposed to, ultimately he is able to make wise decisions for himself.

And that is definitely not an easy task for any parent.

Updates

The destination this month is Butterfly Park at Sentosa. According to my mum, he was very fascinated by every single insect he came across with that day. And the guide capitalised on his enthusiasm by making him the guinea pig and putting all sorts of insects on his lil body.


The guide putting a stick insect on his cap.


There's a stick insect on his cap and a grasshopper on his T-shirt.

So far he hasn't been bitten by anything yet, so I think he doesnt know that some insects can be dangerous and painful when they bite.

Well last month, we also celebrated Racial Harmony Day. Since he enjoys dressing up, he chose to go Indian this year. Schools are very on about such celebrations, so as usual, I dusted one of my Racial Harmony Day costumes and put it on. In a few years time, will repeat this top again. :)



Costumes from where else, but good ol' Mustafa!

He also had his National Celebrations in school and I managed to drop by his school to see the chaos and madness of lil toddlers in a celebration mood. They were all over, each doing their own thing and I managed to observe Irfan a lil. He was pretty mild that day and quite well-behaved. I also noticed that he preferred to mix around with older boys...and pretty much ignore the other lil wobbly toddlers.

Moving on...we managed to have a short shopping break to KL. What more can I say..shopping is always good.:)


Picture doesnt include one driver, one babysitter and one bank teller.They sure make our shopping experience much more comfortable:)

Work has been good lately...been going home before 3 more often and not doing work at home. Well, when managament changes, certain things are bound to be different. So far it has been good and hope it continues...

Till later.

A good day is when the lil boy says "I love you" out of the blue, totally unexpected.

A good day is when a parent comes to you and said you made a difference to his child's life.

A great day is when you are sitting at the corner of an empty cafe with a loved one,
and the wind blows across you, and then, your favourite song comes on.

I had a great day today. Thank you for being the one who shares the song with me.:)

A Reminder to Myself

(Found this in one of the saved posts- unpublished..probably due to lack of time...)

there's so many things to be thankful for in this life. too many, that i dunt think my lifetime of thanks will ever be enough.

many good things have come so easily. they are borrowed, no less, coz nuthing is really ours. so that means these good things can be taken away just as easily too. mere humans, we really have no control over anything except to plea to the greatest power to spare us yet another day, for us to show our immense gratitude as HIS humble creation and another day for us to work towards saving our souls.

as the days passed and as we proceed through the the different stages of life, we expand family ties and the number of pple we love multiply. when we were younger, the only love we noe, is that of our immediate family. then marriage comes and now there's more people to love; our wife/husband and his whole family. then we give birth, we created more pple to love; our own children and if god bless, our daughters/sons-in-laws and grandchildren. and the best part is, theres more people in this world who loves us back.
along with these love comes more responsibilities. now as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter in law. during my younger days, i used to see these responsibilities as a burden but now i realize how silly i was.

now i noe dat it is indeed a blessing to have more responsibilities. HE has promised that if we were to perform our responsibilities as a wife well, we will be blessed with much more AFTER. and as a mother, if we r able to raise a good child, its in our child's prayers that we depend on in the days AFTER. i am thankful that HE has given me the opportunity to be both; a wife and a mother. these are NOT the work of mine. but its up to me HOW i want to make use of these opportunities. they serve as means to an end. An end which all of us cant escape from.

responsibilities are never easy. so each day is a challenge to myself to perform them well. i think my lifetime is for these.

the presence of LOVE definitely makes it easier. In fact, u wont see them as responsibilities at all. u do it coz its in your heart to do so, not some work to be done and completed.

there's an opportunity in every family ties, in every human relation that we have. an opportunity to love, to do good.

knowing that we are on borrowed time, we just want to provide the most and treasure our loved ones. it is not within our knowledge to know who will leave first n we dont want to regret anything when it doesnt matter anymore.
so i see now, that there is no time to remain angry with anyone or to bear grudges when life is already too short and unpredictable.

im still learning to perform my roles as a wife, daughter, daughter in law and mother, etc.
and i pray that i am given the time to continue learning and the stregth and patience to do them well.
and when things get difficult, i hope i will never forget the bigger picture; that these worldly responsibilities and family ties are indeed opportunities for us to do good n decorate our souls, for when our bodies are limp and withered.

"To the world,
you might be one person.
To one person, you might be the world."

Thank you for making me your world:p

Irfan and me

This holiday, I can say that I had spent a lot of time with Irfan. He is also having his holidays, so I seized the opportunity to spend time with him, every hour of the day. Alim was away on a rugby trip for a few days so for about 5 days, it was just Irfan and me at home.
I think when school reopens, I would be the one having difficulty parting with him, especially the first day of school. :( I never thought I could enjoy the company of a2+ year old as much as I did. At this age, these toddlers are able to have a two way communication and they do make sense, well..most times.
His concentration span has a also improved a great deal so I could actually enjoy some quiet moments with him completing 4 to 6 pieces puzzles. I'm surprised he could actually complete these puzzles at one seating with full concentration; given the abundance of energy he has.
One day, we spent almost half the day, moulding playdoh. He wanted me to mould 3 people; ayah, ibu and irfan. His job was to add in the eyes, nose, mouth, ears and shoes. He also requested that I built 'ayah's car' for the family to go out shopping.




Irfan in blue, ayah in green (check out the Elvis cum P Ramlee hair) and me in pink.

Playdoh is definitely one of my favourite toy now, not only it encourages creativity but you can teach a million and one things to your toddler through playing play doh. From our little activity, he managed to learn a lil about colours, body parts and size. I just tried to extend what he knew and introduce a few new ideas which Im sure he didnt know. The other day, we moulded animals and he told me that birds must have wings, snake is long and must be rolled and an elephant have a long nose. I took the opportunity to introduce some animals he didn't know and moulded them, whilst making him put the body parts. Great teaching tool, isnt it and most importantly it's a lot of fun!
Over the holidays, one of the things I wanted to do with Irfan was to expose him to more things, and especially to work a lil on his phonics and his colour recognition. But the most important thing is to weave them into play and make it fun, fun , fun! That way, both of us can enjoy the activity and he can also pick a thing or two.
I have been introducing him to colours for a while now, but he is taking a pretty long time to recognise them. Actually I find it surprising that he could recognise shapes quicker than colours. So during the holidays, I looked around the house and collected objects which are blue, yellow, green and red and mixed them all up. I deliberately chose items which he liked, which are as real as possible, like bananas, oranges, apples, peas....things which he likes touching but seldom got a chance to. I took 4 boxes and put 2 same coloured items in each box and ask irfan to find other items which are of the same colour. Of course, he enjoyed the idea of walking around finding things and putting them in boxes.
From this activity, I realized he is able to group based on colours. But the problem is, he could not remember what the colour is called.
Now, Im thinking of how to teach him names of colours in a fun and exciting way. Actually I liked it that I have to find creative ways to make sure the activity is interesting enough to sustain Irfan's limited attention. It keeps the activities fun.
Another exciting and powerful teaching tool, is playing make-believe. At 3 years old, they enjoy make-believe play so I took the opportunity to capitalise on this interest of his.
At the moment, his Mickey Mouse and teddy bear are his faithful companions. He will always take mickey mouse for himself and hands me the teddy bear. The other day, Mickey mouse, teddy bear, irfan and me went to a 'make believe' restaurant and we ordered different kinds of food and drinks. There were really a lot of teaching opportunities just from the pretend conversations we've had. I followed his lead but I also tried to put in some details and asked him some questions which made him see other possibilities Halfway through 'eating' , he said Mickey Mouse urgently wanted to 'pee', so he rushed Mickey Mouse to the pretend toilet. Soon he came back, said, "Dah pee" and started eating. I asked him if Mickey Mouse had washed his hands because he had just went to the toilet and his hands are full of germs.
I really had so much fun playing with him and every lil playtime with him can be a teachable moment. He is talkative and once I get his full attention, he is very responsive and engaged. So my challenge is always to make my activities exciting and able to capture his interest. But sometimes, he comes up with the activities and I just simply play along.
I wonder who will he play with him when school reopens. He will learn in school for 3 hours and when he gets back, he will usually be watching TV. I must admit he has learnt quite a lot from TV; some good and some not so good things. But it would be great if there is someone to play with him and make play, a fun teachable moment.
School will start in 2 days, and I am sure 'looking forward' to it.

Irfan's first teacher-parent meeting

It's been a while since I wanted to write about this but just couldn't find the time.

A few weeks back, Irfan's school had a teacher-parent meeting. I was of course looking forward to this although I kind of knew what were some of the adjectives his teacher would use to describe him. :)
As a teacher myself, I also knew that we are trained to sugar-coat our words when speaking to parents and to always highlight the positive first and then to carefully but clearly weave in the not so nice aspects of the child's behaviour.

One of the expected adjective the teacher used was 'active'. "Irfan is an active boy", his teacher said. "He's always bursting with energy, very cheerful and eager to learn." she continued. And lastly she added, " If he is absent, we will all feel like something is missing, we can really feel the difference!" I suppose the teacher is pretty well trained in speaking to parents coz not only did she use neutral words but she used a variety of synonyms which basically means, he just can't sit still in class, wonders around, talks a lot and has problems concentrating for long.
Which, I totally agree! That is Irfan at 3 years old! Apparently he is the same in school and at home.

In terms of learning, his teacher said he is very good at hands-on activities for eg, practical life activities like dry pouring, arranging tower blocks from big to small, shallow to deep and other visual discrimination activities.
He's also pretty good at maths and is able to count without skipping and is able recognise numbers.
But he's taking a longer time for language, he needs lots more practice in mastering his phonetic sounds and recognising the letters. Same goes for Arabic letters. He tends to get the sounds confused.

His developments are detailed in this developmental portfolio which I really really liked. They describe how the child is doing in each aspect of his learning. The last section is a checklist of a list of objectives. The teacher will indicate the date the lesson is being introduced and the date the objective is mastered by the child.







He looks pretty sedated in the pictures. :) hehe

Now, at 3 years old, Im giving him a break from all this academic pressure..let him enjoy being a carefree child for many more years coz he still has a long way to go.Imagine all the loong years of education we've all had. All the exams, stress, the fear of failing....all that can wait.
most importantly I just want him to have the right attitude towards learning; that it can be fun, it's useful and that learning should not competitive. I guess that's why I put in a montessori school coz it's a lot of play, outings, unstructured and not so much like a real school although I'm still not sure if Montessori is the right way to go for Irfan. I dunno if he can cope later in primary 1 when the classroom setting is different and given that he can't sit still. Im just hoping he will slow down a lil as he ages and by 7 is able to sit still during lessons and be engaged in his work. I asked the teacher if he is more active than the rest of the kids and the teacher said he is one of the more active ones but is showing progress compared to the first few months.

He seems to enjoy school so far so maybe i'll keep him there for the year.

For now, Im just enjoying every single day I have with him at home. And Im really learning a lot of stuff about him which I didnt know earlier. Now he has pretty much his own ideas about things and i find them interesting and most times, surprising :)

A much needed rest

After all the hard work, we decided, for this break we just didnt want to do anything. We just wanted to go for a long nice drive, check into a nice resort and just do nothing but sleep, eat and maybe swim a lil.


Irfan, me and our room on the left of the pic

Avillion Beach Resort is a nice water resort in port dickson if you like waking up to the sight of the endless sea and sound of the waves.
Although the sea is not exactly clear blue waters, but it's not too bad. Our resort is right above water so we can either enjoy the sea breeze at the verandah and just stone or do some fishing from the verandah itself.
The day bed faces the sea so the last thing we see before we sleep and the first thing that greets us in the morning will be the endless sea.

Irfan, like most kids are quite easy to please. The 24 hour pool was enough for him. One thing I like about the pool, other than it being 24hrs, is that it's just beside the cafe, so while the kids swam, we can have a leisurely breakfast or drink and keep an eye on them. And on top of that they have a small pet farm within the resort where kids could feed and play with the rabbits, chickens, peacocks and tortoises. With the private beach a mere walking distance from our room, Irfan could not stop building and mostly destroying half built sandcastles. So Irfan did enjoy the place as much as we did. Looking out for kids activities has become our priority nowadays:) We have learnt that restless, bored kids always lead to trouble which means no rest for us!

Another plus point which I liked was the beautiful sunset which we can see every evening at around seven, right from our room! (depending where your room is located)
Nearby the resort, you can find strings of night market and pretty delicious seafood, at a very cheap price.

It's no Banyan Tree but pretty nice for the price we pay. So if you like taking a nice drive up to malaysia, do drop by port dickson and check this place out:)

The downside? Parking is always full at the resort itself, so most of the time, we have to park at the resorts' parking lot across the street.
And secondly, we found a bat in the open air toilet in our room. It was just comfortably resting quietly at the corner of the floor but looks disgusting all the same. So Alim, took it out and left it somewhere (I really don't want to know where! as long as it is out of my sight!!) and I was spooked a lil after that and did not dare to step in the toilet. But luckily no more bats after that!

For lazy people like us, waking up to the beautiful sight is actually all we need. We really had a much needed rested break and will be enjoying the last weeks of the holidays before it's back to work!










My favourite place; the daybed has windows which opens up to the sea. I slept a lot here:)









For more photos go here

War time

I hope you are not thinking that I am just sitting around, with a big helmet,
holding on to a big gun waiting for the right moment to shoot.



I really have other better things to do than pick a fight.



I realize, even if my helmet is so big that it covers my face, I can never prevent the bullet from hitting my head. And no matter how big a gun I carry,
I can never win this war.

Conflicting roles



A red pen and a ring? Can they get along?
Can a committed teacher be a good mother and wife?
One thing is for sure- the role of a teacher goes beyond having a red pen these days.

Conflicting identities



I guess nuthing is as simple as black and white
Perhaps we are indeed made up of both
An evil mind but one saint heart?
Maybe we all have a lil darth vader and super hero in each of us
Constantly battling and squabbling in our crazy lil head
So tread carefully coz we don't want the wrong side to win all the time.

This is not a poem

Mornings
Bus rides, uniform, bus stop
walkman, music
goodbye, hello, railings of the interchange
gum, cigarettes
group of funny looking people

empty green land
darkness surrounds
lift, void deck
by the bay
more music and instruments
madness amidst loud, bursting noise

phones calls
much about nothing
slurred converstions
head in the fridge
drunken moments, where the aeroplanes land
a familiar crook of the arm, it fits i suppose

a mother and brother
closed door
she never knocked, he looked the other way
a room full of people, screaming and shouting
yet we were alone
it was a cold, rainy night
when my mother believed me

OK, there is no code to crack here. It is not supposed to make sense. This is just what happens if I type out words randomly the moment they flash in my head. And this is what happens if you have been on MC for 3 weeks and get hooked on DVDs.

I am in no mood to start work. The momentum has been permanently disrupted. Luckily June holidays is just round the corner. I need to get lost even more and I can't do that when I am supposed to teach 40 kids. I can't do that when I am 30 and have a boy of 3. Lately, music has been my saving grace but some music reminds me of something or someone or someplace which is not at all pleasant.

Not doing anything is addictive. Until it reaches the point of boredom, that is.

The Day I Found out

The moment she read my file and did the first test, the wicked witch started being nice to me, so I sensed trouble.

And she DID say her string of favourite words (Oh it's normal), but this time she used another equally sickening synonym, "You know, it's quite COMMON for women to ......1 in every...blah blah blah" Yah, that made me feel better. I'm so glad to fit right in with the other women. Thank you very much.

As expected, I did shed those tears. And my strategy of bringing irfan kinda worked. I did smile...but i must admit, it was amidst my tears. His silly idea this time was to snug behind some lady's husband and suddenly jumps in front and say "TA-DA". The man took a step back and the look on his face plus Irfan's sneaky face and tiptoeing was worth a lil smile.

As for alim, he's as cool as cucumber as he always is, but I know better than to assume I am the only one upset over this. He has always been my pillar of strength but I know he needs his moment too for this one. Right from the beginning when we first found out, till today, he has been listening to every lil weird analysis of mine. I know whatever i feel, he would too.

A few nights ago, I told him I'm dead bored at home and thought of renting some DVDs and a good book. It was already 10pm when I told him, he gave me a strange look and said he was extremely tired and wanted to sleep. I was a lil pissed coz it is almost never that he dsmiss me that quickly. But I didnt bug him coz the shops were closed anyway.

I woke up the next morning, at 8am and saw a sweet lil card and a small paperbag in front of the T.V in my room. I opened the bag and saw two sets of DVD series. How did he do it? Did he snug out at night? Which shop was opened? I saw the receipt and checked the time, apparently it was yesterday afternoon. Meaning he rented them even before I told him I wanted to rent them. It was a nice surprise and I'm always amazed at how thoughtful he is and how well he knew me. He knew what I had wanted even before I knew them. Strange.

He is always, always there for me, comforting me, but this time, I know he needs me too.

Actually, I've been over and over this scene in my head many times. What the wicked witch will say, how I will react...but i still feel the way I feel. She hands me a pamphlet and said, "read it when you are less emotional" and went on to talk about what are the possible complications from here on, and what medication she's giving me and what to do next. I wasnt really listening. My eyes rested on the pamphlet and all I saw was the title of the pamphlet which was staring right back at me.

When she told me, I don't feel like the whole world was crashing onto me, that would be too dramatic. Yes, I was totally upset when she told me but I also know for a fact, this is for the best. I don't really like to question the why , coz reasons can never be conclusive and there is never a good reason to explain what's written out there. The mind is too limited to understand his decisions and I've always known that.

And I know, things could have been worst,some others have it even harder.

But I like a good grieving, I like a good, satisfying cry, to ease away the lump that keeps building up in my throat.

So now, all I have is one picture and the cross which reminds me that this is just not a story I made up in my lil, crazy head.

I would want to look at them one day and not feel that lump in my throat.
But that day is not now.
Coz I'm not ready. Not just yet.

it'3.20pm. In another hour, Im going to see that grumpy,wicked witch of the west, lokek MC lady again. The last time I saw her was 3 years ago.

And I'm dying to hear her overused "Oh, it's normal" phrase again. The other time it was irratating coz it seemed like she was trivialising evry lil problem I had.
But this time, Im just dying to hear her say it to me.

But, I doubt it. There's nothing normal about what Ive experienced so far. When things were normal, I was already a crazy worry-wart. Can you imagine how I am now?

As usual I have a list of fears. Not knowing is scary but you know, that few minutes and seconds to finding out, is even way scarier.

I don't know if I am going to be sent home today again and told the same thing as the other 2 people in white coats. Or am I going through a battery of tests to find out what's wrong with me. Some of the tests are not exactly comfortable and i don't think the wicked witch will be so kind to give an option to not take the test and I dunt think she will comfort me when I shed those tears. And I somehow know at some point, I WILL shed those tears. Not because of bad news I hope. I blame it on the hormones.

I want to find out, but I hate some of the tests. Maybe what I really need is a big scolding from that wicked witch to just do it.

So anyway, Im bringing irfan with me. I need someone to cheer me up, and he always does say something silly to crack me up or make me smile. Either that, or I will be busy scolding and chasing him, which hopefullly will put my mind off the worrying while waiting.

So im off now. And all i can think of now is the green lady in my dream.

I must admit, with all that is happening, Ive neglected Irfan a lil these days.

The past few days, when he gets back from school,( I know he is back because I would hear, "Assamuaikumm! Dah balik. IBUUU!!" ) he'll look for me, pops into the room,"what r u doing, Ibu" sees me lying down, smiles, jumps on the bed and initiate to engage me in one of his play ideas. Honestly, I am really not in the mood and so I layan him in a very malas sort of way, and luckily he gets it, lingers for a while and realizes Im not up to it. He pitter patter to the living room and plays on his own. soon after, he pops in again and checks if Im up to it now. When out of guilt, I show some sort of enthusiasm, he starts getting excited and pulls my hand to go out, "Ibu, come, come, play with me" or offer me one of his toys while he holds on to his favourite one.
And when I refuse, he'd pester for a bit longer and when he realizes Im serious, he plays on his own again. Somehow he knows not to bug me after that.

The first day, when this happened, I actually explained to him that I was not well. "Ibu sakit, I can't play with you" He replied "Where?" I pointed to my tummy. He went out and came back with my mum's minyak, clumsily opened it, dipped his whole finger in and plops it on my tummy, and started to rub my tummy in circular motion.
Unfortunately I had to stop him coz, he wasnt exactly doing it gently.
And I'm not sure what minyak he took, but with the amount he put on my tummy, it was super hot, felt like my skin was going to be burnt!

But he made me smile. And the next day, I told him Im not up to playing coz Im tired. I suppose that is one excuse he is used to, and so he didnt argue with that.

On Wednesday, I even forgot that he had water play in school and I didnt put him in his swimming attire. When he came back, his uniform was all dirty. I assumed he wanted to join in the water play and dirtied his uniform.
I never forget about his water play days coz I know he looks forward to it, but I did on wednesday.

And last night, while I was opening the fridge, I saw Irfan's circular on International Friendship Day which the school celebrates today.( I normally paste his circulars on the fridge coz I do have short term memory) He is supposed to dress in costume of other cultures and to bring a present for another friend coz there will be an exchange of gifts or something like that.
I totally forgot all about that and it was almost 9pm when I realized.

I digged his wardrobe and took out whatever that looked like costumes from other cultures. And my mum suggested he wore this




Arab Sesat
Tak sia sia, nenek belikan time pegi Haji. Pakai jugak.

It was already 9pm and so I said bolehlah. Although the headgear and jubah really tak kena coz it was supposed to be worn with long white jubah with long sleeve. But as you can see, he seems happy in it and posing posing lagi. Of course, we all had to boost his ego a lil and said something like "wah irfan lawa" "very nice" and he was smiling from ear to ear.
later at night, I asked alim if he thinks any of irfan's friend would laugh at him coz he does look kinda silly in that headgear. And Im just worried he'd be sad if his friends were to tease him.

As for the present, I digged my overloaded cupboard and lo and behold, found an extra children's day gift I bought for my students from last year. So that settles it.

The next morning, my mum and I dressed Irfan. He was super excited and seemed thrlled to be wearing the headgear. Just as he was about to leave, he walked to the mirror to look at himself for the first time. Upon seeing his reflection, he removed the headgear and said " I don't want" My mum insisted he wore it coz after all, it's her idea. "Lawa irfan, lawa...nanti teacher cakap lawa,". Irfan said "I don't WANT. Not nice" (tak sangka,kecik kecik pun tau fashion jugak!)

Kesian my mum, all her effort, pakaikan headgear tu. So he left without the headgear and instead, he wore a songkok haji. In the end, entah apa culture yang dia pakai.

My mum was sorely disappointed. She packed the headgear in a plastic bag in the hope that Irfan will change his mind later. She told the van driver to give the headgear to the teacher in case she wants to take a picture of him in it.

Itulah kisah...

Anyway, today I will pick myself up. No matter if it continues.
Being positive doesn't come naturally to me.
But I'll try.

Being too happy always scares me.
Yes, Im crazy like that.
This is one of those nonsensical emotional entries that is sappy, boring and blah blah.
Since young, Im always told when something bad happens, it's coz Im too happy.
"Tu lah, happy happy sangat, kan ..."
Maybe that's why I dont display emotions much coz somewhere in my head, the opposite will happen.
Right now,a week ago, I was over the moon.Excited and happy.
And now, Im fearing that the opposite will happen. I have cause to worry, it's not in my head. Sometimes it is , but not today.

So I sat there and waited.
But looks like I have to wait for another week.
I sat there and thought about all the possibilities.
And scare myself even more. I think that actually comforts me.

Ok you don't have to understand.
It's here to remind me about a fear which is so real.
I'm normally good at hiding things, but not this fear today.
So many people saw it, and i couldnt hide it.
I was openly vulnerable.
Im not used to that.

So if you are a two year, strapped in your car seat for 2 hours on a trip to Malaysia, what would you do?



To ease his boredom, that strap has been used as many things. I've seen him pretending that it was a fishing rod.."Ibu, Irfan fish...WAhh..many fish!!" Looking down and pointing below.
And now, after getting sick of fishing, apparently the rod has turned into an elephant's nose.

The other day, he found a long flattened box, stood on it and said he was skateboarding...another time, he took a piece of tissue, clumsily stuck it behind his neck and T-shrt, stretched his right arm, slided across the room and screamed, "Supermaaan !"

That reminds me...Kids are all imaginative and creative, one reason I enjoy teaching primary school is precisely because of that..they are just so refreshing and genuine.They see things which I can't.

sometimes I wonder how it can be further strengthened and developed. Does the classroom environment in our schools allow their creativity to grow or force it to come to a complete halt? Lower primary education has definitely changed a lot here, to encourage creativity and experiential learning. But what about upper primary, especially when PSLE looms closer? And for me, how do I encourage creativity in my classroom without compromising their exam results?

Definitely, the education landscape here is placing greater importance on creativity and problem solving skills as opposed to route learning, memory work and a one size fits all method. We are beginning to realize that these are important traits for the newer generation who will make up the future workforce and the changing demands of the economy.

For Irfan, allowing his creativity and imagination to run free, would sometimes mean having the house turned upside down as we give him space to experiment. Most times, im always tempted to blow up and ask him to 'put back the cushion', 'stop messing up the tissue' and 'sit down and be quiet' or even hand him his favourite DVD so that he would sit still, glued to the DVD for hours... Especially when it is 10pm and my eyes just can't open anymore. Teaching him to clean up after making all the mess, does help a lot but that depends on his mood and most times it takes him forver to clean up..and at 10pm weekday, I really have no patience to wait. Whenever alim and I are doing our work at night, we hand him a colouring book and some crayons, envisioning him sitting down quietly and colouring the picture quietly and carefully. But that never happens, of course.
Instead, he would pour out all his crayons all over the floor, take one crayon, make some markings here and there, scribble a little and barely 30 seconds, "Finish!" Either he runs off, leaving all the mess on the floor or pull our hands and gives us a set of instructions to follow, "Ayah, come. Sit here, play car. Ayah nyer(hands him one car), Irfan nyer (takes one car)..plaY NOW!"

I'm still waiting for the time when he can sit down quietly to colour. Take one colour pencil from the box, colour, put it back and take another. Im still waiting for that day. Im also waiting for the day when he can clean up all his toys without being asked a zillion times...clean up all at one shot instead of pausing in between to play with his car a while..to lie down and play with his hands lah....this and that. Basically Im waiting for the day when he can sit still for a longer period and not be ALL OVER, darting around...here and there, everywhere...u know what I mean?...bila agaknyer eh? 5 years old maybe?

Or maybe...the makcik makcik are right after all...Irfan really needs a "friend".

Short break

We didnt do much at Desaru over the March break. It was raining most of the time, coupled with some hot sun in between. It was just perfect to stay in bed and sleep all day, with the sound of the waves lulling you to zzzland. But having a two year old full of energy, makes that a lil harder to do...

so whenever we spot Mr Sun coming out, we went downstairs so that irfan could burn all that energy without turning the hotel room upside down...

As usual some pictures of us...what else...


He played with sand...berejam rejam..batang hidung castle pun tak nampak...


playground...

When it rained, he'd be in the kids playroom...luckily it was spacious..

I dunno why he'd always end up meeting girls instead of boys his age...

But boys will be boys...these are really the highlights of his trip...

Watching some abang play PSP..."Irfan play? ...can?can?..." I doubt he knows how to manipulate the buttons...and anyway, the abang didnt even budge from his seat like forever...


Kicking the ball up and down, up and down the area...goood..at least I can rest and enjoy the waves...

But the real highlight of the whole trip for him was....riding on THOMAS the train!!!!



Of course, he didnt care that this THOMAS wasnt even a train in the first place..it had wheels..and it goes on sand...and plus his face was a bit disfigured...
He didnt mind a bit.

Unfortunately, it was raining heavily and apparently Thomas doesnt go when it rains...
"Wait! Rain stop" he insisted we wait beside Thomas till the rain stops...but alim n I would rather wait in our room, on the comfy bed, with the nice rain sumoree...so we dragged him up...

and that explains this face...

Merajuk...

But soon, the SUN came out and we finally managed to ride on Thomas...

Muka ada senyum...

All the way muka dia macam gini...

haiz..posing lain tada ka??

back to school on monday for all three of us...HAIZZZZ......