She ain't heavy, she's my sister

Slept after coming back from work and woke up just in time for maghrib. Apparently these two did not wait for me and decided to pray on their own.

Saya budak baru belajar, kalau salah tolong tunjukkan.



Hopefully this will last till they are much much older. :)

Irfan has been a big influence on his lil sis, as a result of the vast amount of time they spend with each other. I can't say all his actions are examplary but some are. Through her brother, she has learnt fatehah, prayer and nasyid. Through her brother, she picked up a million and one vocab. He has been the most wonderful brother right from the minute she was born. But if you think they never fight, you are absolutely mistaken. They even have scratch marks across their faces to prove it!







He said this the other day about his sister. " When she smiles, she looks very happy. It makes my heart feel happy too." Awww....sweet. Like the above, I hope this will not change much when they are much much older!

It's always great to have a big brother, fight n all. I know because I had two and although it can be exasperating most times, I had tons of fun when I was young:)

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Are we ready to choose?

I'm not anti or pro. As of now I'm still mulling. But I can't believe the comments made sometimes. Low blow, baseless complaints without substantive facts.

It's just like finding a scapegoat and blaming everything on that person. It's not easy to lead, leaders can't please everyone but look around. There are others more unfortunate than you just because they were born in some country ruled by corruption, incompetent leaders.

You are in the comforts of your room with Internet connection and typing complains after complains. It's easy isn't it to say we have no jobs because they took our jobs. it's easier to get public support by replaying that overused phrase. Yes it's definitely true for some of us, but the impression I get is that others are merely jumping on the bandwagon and adding on to the fire.

Yes the things they say can sound up and mighty and it pisses me off too but at least give them credit where it is due.
Back your argument with substantive evidence. What we should be doing now is to listen to what the opposition has to offer, find out who is contesting at our area, decide with much listening and understanding.

Whats the point of condenming the current and not knowing what other parties can do?

Of course, if your main intention is merely to oust the existing because you feel a change is long overdue and you don't really care who we end up with, then by all means. That's how great revolutions begin. But the question is, are we ready? Or will it bring a new set of complains?

Talking about her personal life just won't cut it. Talking about her n her Kate spade makes you sound as immature as she is, or probably worst than her.

If you want mature, rational leaders, my guess is, you have got to be a mature, rational voter.

(maybe i shld lay off forums for a while)



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Remedy for a sick mommy

Nice to have drinks served in bed when u are feeling crappy.
thanks irfan!



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Random

It's 1am and I'm still up. I'm going to be dead sleepy tomorrow. That's for sure.

On an unrelated note, found this in the phone. Abg looks so grown up and adik looks very well behaved. Neither of which are true.



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Inspired

Tonite, after maghrib, as usual Irfan had his choice of dua.
Tonite, he made dua for Japan. Again, it was a pleasant surprise for me.

He said, "Oh Allah, please protect Japan from earthquake. Protect all the children and their mummies.
If their mummies and daddies died from it, please do not make them sad anymore."
Yes, amin to that...

On another note, I was looking at my past entires in this blog and i saw how my kids grew in this blog. I started writing when I was single and now with 2 kids, this blog captured all the important milestones in my life. I wrote about happy moments, challenging ones, deaths, births, struggles and discoveries. Im glad I put in pictures and saw how irfan actually grew from a tiny baby, to a curious toddler and now a 6 year old boy. Im glad I captured those moments here because my forgetful mind cannot remember everything anymore. But I also realise that as much as I have grown, I might have been 'stagnant' in some areas of my life. I think I better buck up coz I am not getting any younger!

Speaking of kids and struggles, I am totally inspired by my cousin who has 5 kids and now on the way to becoming a vp. Her husband is also teaching and I can imagine all the juggling they have to do. Fortunate for them, their parents are extremely supportive and take turns to take care of their kids. But I know that having a support network does not solve all your problems.

Her kids are smart, well mannered and more importantly, brought up to be good muslims and muslimahs. My cousin and her husband, amidst their busy schedules, always emphasise discipline and importance of duniawi and ukhriawi to their kids. And I can see how beautiful their children are growing up to be.

This is a totally foreign concept to me. I thought more time with the kids is important for them to be wonderful individuals? I thought to spend more time with the kids, we have no choice but to reduce work time?

Which leads me to think that it might be possible to excel in different aspects of your life. You CAN be an excellent parent AND an excellent worker AND an excellent muslimah who raises children who are excellent muslims themselves. Maybe it's not either or, maybe it's not mutually exclusive, maybe we don't have to choose.

But how? I am already struggling with 2 kids and work, and constantly finding the time to develop myself in other less wordly areas. How did she do it?

I might have an inkling as to how. But Im not sure Im capable of it, though. I guess a it takes a disciplined individual, with a passion to put their best in whatever they do and at the same time have trust in HIM that he will guide them through everything. Isn't that the qualities of a good muslimah? Im sure we have read about many stories of examplary muslims who had to juggle many responsibilites and yet  excel in every single aspect.

My cousin is also probably an effective leader. And so she can be an effective leader anywhere, at home, at work and one who leads her kids to the correct direction. BEing an effective leader would probably make all these tasks easier and hence less complains and negative perceptions. She must have understood something that I am still trying to understand and practice. I think the fact that she is capable of all this has a lot to do with her possessing characteristics of an examplary muslimah herself. Or at least she is trying to be, and moving towards the right direction.

Her children has a wonderful role model to look up to, and that is half the battle won.

I have much to learn but I am glad to start with this inspiration.

Earth hour

Earth Rangers!! Fighting against electricity wastage.




Light saber is in order!



Mission accomplished!
Earth hour 2011.

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I wish I had the guts to say this.

Have patience. There's nothing to lose being a doormat when it comes to your old, ageing parents/parents-in-law. there's nothing to lose when you endure words from your parents/parents-in-law that cuts you like a knife. They might not be the best of company but they need you. No matter how u might hurt them with your absence, with your self centred attitude, they yearn for your attention. So don't think they don't understand you, how about trying to understand them, even when they hurt you the most. I don't want to state the obvious but there's no excuse good enough to not visit, not call, not care about your parents/ in-laws.
Yes, even if you have problems of your own. Amidst your own problems its so easy to forget them. But thats not good enough a reason. And showing you care just by thinking about them 2 seconds amidst your busy life is not enough. It's not money that they want either. Just your presence.
Even if they piss you off, get on your nerves, step all over you, you should never ignore them. They never intend to hurt, they don't do it intentionally. It might be against better judgement. Fine they might be wrong. But so what? This is not a battle which you should even consider. So what if you are right and they are wrong? So what if u let them step all over u? Yes i know they can be difficult to love. Trust me, i know. What have you got to lose tolerating them? What have you got to lose swallowing your anger?
Talk to someone who can cool you down. Complain, let out your anger to your sounding board. Take time to overcome your anger but never ignore your parents/parents in law. Have patience, have patience, have patience.
Remember, they are not getting younger. They are old. They need you. Give them your best cause they don't have that many years left. Don't live to regret it.
And most importantly, your kids are watching you. Would you want your kids to react the same way when you are old and behaving irrationally?
Someone who is difficult to love, sometimes needs the most love. I wish they didn't want it from u, but they do. I wish they didnt care that you are constantly missing, but they do. So get over yourselves and spend some of your time with them, even if it's difficult for you. There's nothing more worth it than this.
And lastly, I'm not trying to act all good, smarter, better than anyone. Believe me, I have my own struggles too. Every single day with them. And we are trying. And I know constant reminders from people are important coz we do forget. So I'm just here reminding. Who knows someday, I might need the same piece of advice from you too.

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KL

We ate.

We lazed around. We swam.

We visited the Aquaria.

And we ate some more.

And that's about it. Time spent with the kids was priceless:)
Back to school on Monday and an exciting Term 2 begins!

Surah Competition

Irfan's first competition

Irfan has never taken part in the surah competition held yearly during maulidur rasul. But since this is Irfan's last year and he was excited to take part, we came and gave him our fullest support:)

AS previous years, the competition wasnt all that competitive. I guess most of the lil ones took part just for the stage exposure and for the fun of it. Some were really tiny and stood still on stage, looking all frightened and confused. So kesiann...I guess they didnt expect to feel so jittery when they see the hundreds pairs of eyes staring at them. Just hope they wont be traumatised for life! :)

Irfan was calm and couldnt wait for his turn. He recited his surah well, also because he is already in K2 and I suppose, surah An-Nas wasn't that much of a challenge for him. He didnt look frightened or nervous at all, but after he came down from stage, he told us that his heart was beating very fast when he saw all the audience looking at him. Oh, we couldnt even tell, we told him.

Irfan recitinng his surah

Receiving his prize

He won third place. Everyone who took part received a consolation prize! Good thing for all those brave lil ones who managed to stand up on stage alone. They really deserve a prize. Im sure for most, it was their first time and Im glad they received a lil something:)

Presenting his prize to his forever loyal supporter

Leading in the nasyid performance

Totally forgiven for the totally uncoordinated movements, sidestepping and out of tune singing during the nasyid performance.. because they all look so darn adorable!!! :)

Marha! Marha!;)

Alisha@ 22 months

Ok so here's part 3 and 4 of the video. If you have not seen 1 and 2, just scroll down and you will see it.

To be honest, I was quite surprised by the things Alisha says especially "Ayah sepak" and "call police" part. These are not words alim and I commonly used and Alim has never laid a finger on that lil girl, in fact he is such a softie when it comes to this lil girl.

After some observation and investigation, apparently when she gets naughty at home, which is pretty often, my dear parents will threaten her by saying things like , "Nanti call police, or ayah balik and sepak alisha (sepak as in slap not kick..hehe...but still a pretty harsh word by my standards)...oh well, although I disagree with this style of parenting but I do know that any attempt to correct my parents will be threading on very dangerous grounds...that might just crack the already so fragile bubble of peace and harmony in the home.

So what do I do? Do the best I can when I am with the kids, and pray hard my parents notice that the way we handle the kids are pretty different from them. Not to say Im an expert in parenting and my parents are not, after all they brought me up and although I have some bad habits, I can safely say I didnt turn out that bad after all. But it's common to have differing views when it comes to raising a child, especially between parents and grandparents. And it's even more common to hear about stories of how arguments between a couple and their parents who are living under one roof came about due to differing views on child rearing.

So I rather not go there. And if I do try to being my point across, I have to be really careful with my words..sometimes my points get across, sometimes feelings are hurt. So I have learnt to be very cautious when it comes to such things.

Well, that is part and parcel of living under the same roof as our parents. But not everything is dark and gloomy of course..I can think of a million and one other reasons why I am so grateful to have my parents around with me and I cant imagine living without them. But it comes with a set of challenges that sometimes doesnt get better with time.

Alamak, I have diverted so much, all I wanted to do in this post was actually to put up the video and I almost forgot all about it!

Here goes.....bring the volume up:)





And the Phoneme Flip Stand which Alisha was fiddling with, was from Alim's mum. I really have to start using all the resources she has given the kids; that, the flashcards, story books...wonderful resources they all are but this "wonderful" parent has just got to make it happen.

Alisha @ 22 months 4-part video

Well, had the luxury of time last week to take Alisha's video.
Here's the first two parts. In part 2, Alisha was busy playing 'office office', not that she has been in one before.
I guess she has been observing me hard at work on the computer...but the answering phones and making calls in between typing on the computer is so exaggerated loh. Dah macam secretary....





But the "Im busy" part, I have to admit came totally from me. Guilty as charged. When she is clamouring over me and I have urgent work to complete, I'd go, "Im busy. Im doing work.." So what does she do? Parrots me back at another time, another occasion. Like echo effect man, this girl!

Put the volume up and enjoy! Part 3 and 4 will be up soon:)

Snooze button

Thank u for the reminders. I hear u calling. I am coming. I am coming. I am coming. Quicken my pace, hasten my heart. I'm still in bed, comfortable, safe. Looking up, waiting. Get me out. Pull me up. I know I have to jolt myself out of bed. Give me the strength. Give me the courage. Wake me now.

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Bugs to cure a bug

Irfan has not been in sch for a week now due to a very nasty fever. In fact, he is still having fever now. Tomorrow, it will be one week. And so, I've been yanking myself out of work to go home early so that I can spend time with him. Take his mind off the fever for a bit.

We were reading a book on insects and then we did this! Adik helped too of course:)


We drew, we painted and we carefully cut out the lil bugs.



Got distracted and painted our hands instead and made hand prints..adik was elated to get messy!


We put them up and they were pretty! ;)

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A lil doa for his beloved daddy

As alim is on reservist, tonight, it was just me, irfan and Alisha for maghrib prayers. After praying, irfan immediately cupped his hands and said a lil doa which caught me by surprise," oh Allah, please make my ayah ok in the army. Please don't let him die." macamlah bapak dia pegi perang gulf war pulak eh... khekheke. when I heard him say these words and looked at him sitting on the prayer mat with his little hands, I just felt like hugging him so tight and telling him to stay this way forever, to don't be aksen when he's a teenager, to always be loving n caring like he has always been...
It was an awwwwww moment for me man, nothing like your own son saying a lil prayer for you, without being told to and with words right from his tiny sincere heart...;)

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Reminisce

I cant sleep. I cant speak so here i am fiddling with my phone. Found some pics in my phone from our trip last December.





We slept at narita airport while on 8 hours transit. The kids didnt care less they were sleeping on strollers and chairs. We dreamt we were backpacking.






We watched the kids colouring as we waited for our food. They were full of concentration. We looked in disbelief.






We drove for miles and miles accompanied by beautiful blue sky. And kids' entertainment.







We finally arrived. San Francisco, you were too pretty to forget.

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5 senses

Lost my voice, ringing in my ears, blocked nose. 3 out of 5. Looking forward to better days. I will appreciate them more now, I'm sure.

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Barney on repeat mode

Her favourite song

Ok Alisha, I'm glad your audience love that, judging from their very enthusiastic clap. It's really nice and u look cute singing it but maybe, just maybe u would like to sing another song perhaps? You know, add a lil variety. And also coz with Barney on repeat mode, I can even hear the song in my sleep. So, Another song pleassseee, like that yellow bird song u sang last nite... Or watever else that u picked up on ayah's CDs. Just not Barney pn repeat mode can oredi.

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Painfully croaking

I have no voice. My voice decided to leave me last night. Maybe it decided to accompany Alim to his reservist..Crap! now I'm left with a painful throat and a mouth that lets out a devastating croak.
I'm on mc today coz I need to rest my throat. I need to go back to work tomorrow. Was thinking of going through some papers they did so I'm hoping for a miracle that my voice will return tonite. Anyway, how long will lost of voice usually last? I don't get this often, in fact I can't remember the last time I got this.
Been falling sick waaayyy too often...good news, I've got a new fdw. So goodbye dust and dirty clothes. No need to ration clothes anymore...my clothes ironed, my toilet smelling nice and hopefully the kids don't fall sick as often.

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Of errands, bus rides and sweltering hot day

On the bus to bedok interchange. Going to a posbank and then to geylang to hand in the cheques to the maid agency. Then got to repair dads watch and buy alishas milk. Figuring out how to get from one place to another. No ezlink card on me. Dead hungry now. Oh boy isn't this exciting.
By the way, I'm in 32 and boys in white and girls in green reminds me of my good ol days! How exciting!
Anyway, Let's see how many tasks I get completed today and how many different buses I will take till I succumb to the cab. Hah! The only thing im missing now is a pair of earphones. I need you music! And why must it be a sweltering hot day today?!


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Missing my reality

Watched 2 great movies in 2 days.... So many parallels I could draw from 127 hours and the black swan. They are similar in more ways than 1. One stark similarity i couldn't help but notice is that both movies focused on images conjured by the minds of the main characters. The power of the mind is indeed limitless and it does and will undoubtedly affect your reality. Your mind can kill you or save you depending on which voice you choose to hear. In 127 hours, In the midst of being trapped in a canyon, he chooses to draw on the strength of people he loves which eventually gives him the courage to cut his own arm to gain his freedom. And it's all in his mind. The images, the past and premonitions of the future. Similarly and yet in a stark contrast, black swan delves into the dark side of the mind. Trapped in the fear of losing her role, she drives her mind to killing herself. It's all in the mind, the violence, the blood, the sexual encounters.
When you are pushed to the edge for watever reasons; being trapped in a canyon for 127 hours or the fear of losing something important like a role in a ballet performance, your mind can either draw strength or push you to a very very very dark side.
Both movies also require an acting ability which is raw and relied heavily on the actors facial expressions with minimal script and supporting actors. I can't help but be drawn to such movies where there is a fine line between reality and "just in the mind" phenomenon. Inception was another one which I really liked too.
So yes, that wraps up our movie date for now. Meanwhile I am looking forward to seeing you next weekend, partner.
And meanwhile, in my painful loneliness without u, partner,I guess I could choose; to painfully cut off the dependence arm and bask in freedom or drive myself to the dark side, where I conjure you in my mind and let my fingers do the walking;) Haha ok, I'm just kidding here and u got to watch the black swan to understand this..
Anyway....don't mind me, I've just been watchg too many movies within a short span of time...
So I guess I would just be here, counting down the days from tomorrow till your return:(

So...Next two weeks, I'm pretty much on my own. Say hello to public transport..I have a feeling the cab will be my new best friend:(

I miss u already:(((

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